Little things πŸ’πŸŒ§οΈβ˜˜οΈπŸ°πŸ–οΈπŸ’—

To know you’re alive by feeling the blood flow through the vein,

To dance in the rain,

To help irrespective of loss or gain,

To smile through the pain

Life is indeed about the little things.

Magical rains🌧️πŸ₯°

To have little, yet be happy to share,

To sing without a care,

To have sand at my feet and wind in my hair,

To breathe the cool, fresh, brisk air,

Life is indeed about the little things.

Soak up the vitamin-sea β€οΈπŸ–οΈ

To see a flower bloom,

To smell the fragrance of my favourite perfume,

To connect with friends via zoom,

To wear my mother’s earrings which is my favourite heirloom,

Life is indeed about the little things.

Appreciate, Enjoy, Smile

To gaze at the clear blue sky,

To enjoy guilt free all the fudge and pie,

To watch a sad film and cry,

To enjoy the banter and goofing around with my guy,

Life is indeed about the little things.

Happiness indeed..nom nomπŸ˜‹

To spend time gardening,

To feel at peace while moon gazing,

To know about the world through reading,

To pour my heart out through writing,

Life is indeed about the little things.

Be silly….with family 😁

To spending quality time with family,

To laugh wholeheartedly,

To always offer help readily,

To be content with little and live happily,

Life is indeed about the little things.

Overthinking doesn’t yield results,just a decoy,

To take away peace of mind and let the bigger worries of the unpredictable future burden and annoy,

Coz ultimately, it’s the little things that bring the greatest joy.

So, sit back, breathe easy, savour these little things and learn to enjoy. 😊πŸ₯°

La Magnifique Sunset πŸŒ‡πŸ’–

The other day, I stumbled upon the most beautiful sunset I have seen in a while.

One that caught me by surprise and made me break into a smile.

So many shades, like a painter’s canvas,

Or a writer’s cathartic poetic stanza.

Just stood there soaking in the beauty with a fixed gaze,

Nature’s magnanimity and magnificence never fails to amaze.

Left me with the profound realization,

Just like every sunset promises a new dawn,

In the same way, the bad times eventually gives way to the good ones.

Which ushers in promises of new hope, some laughter and even some dance.

So, no matter how awful was the day,

Keep some faith in Mother nature’s mysterious ways,

When you least expect, she will send the most beautiful surprise your way.

One that will momentarily make you forget your worries and take all your stress away. πŸ’—πŸ’—

No filters needed


Due to the relaxations in the lockdown restrictions imposed in my city, Last weekend stepped out to have lunch at a friend’s house..they have a beautiful south west facing balcony and the sunset view from there was just breathtaking…clicked endless pics…sharing a few with you all..do let me know if you like it. What are your thoughts or realisations on seeing such beautiful sunrises and sunsets? Do tell πŸ˜ŠπŸ’Ÿ

My Mini Garden Tales

The pandemic hit us all hard and left us stuck at home with the same mundane routine of office work, incessant zoom calls and endless household chores (man,they never get over)..but if social media is any proof, it’s also given most of us some spare time to reconnect… reconnect with ourselves, reconnect with our old friends and also to reconnect with our hobbies and passions…I see endless posts from my friends/acquaintances putting up pictures of their culinary skills or fitness routines, or artwork or poetries…just like them, even I have discovered a new found love …for gardening 🌱🌿

I have written about my gardening experience in some earlier posts (read My Quest for a new β€˜Talent’, Spring for my Soul πŸŒ»πŸŒΌπŸ¦‹πŸŒΊ, The first bloom 🌷🌷 ). But my garden has grown since then and I thought I must share the latest updates with all my WP friends who might share a similar interest.

First of all, it’s been many months of lockdown here owing to the ravaging second wave. The nearest nursery from where I bought the plants has been closed forever. So it’s been about 5-6 months that I couldn’t buy any new plants. So to keep up the garden, I knew I had to take extra care of the pant babies already there and make sure that they continue to thrive. And to my utter joy, they did. Most of them anyway. 😊😍

Pink coloured Dianthus
Dual shaded Dianthus
Jasmine blossom
Do you know what’s this beauty called?
Polka dot plant
Hibiscus
Money plant /Pothos

However, despite my best efforts I failed to save 2 of my plant babies…I tried to water more, water less, repot, everything a novice like me knew or could think of. But they just gradually withered and slipped away. ☹️☹️

My little garden misses you babies 😘

But, Mother nature works in mysterious ways. While I couldn’t save 2 of the plants despite trying so hard, a few stems just sprang up out of nowhere and blossomed to full sized healthy plants… with zero effort from my side!! Talk about Circle of life. Funny thing, till now I am not even sure what these are called. If you guys have a clue, do let me know in the comments section. But they are beautiful and thriving. So name or not, I Ain’t complaining. πŸ’ŸπŸŒΏπŸ˜€

Surprise surprise 🀩πŸ₯°

A few weeks back I went down to get some groceries and on my way back I noticed some beautiful potted plants near the security guards’ room. I came to know that the owners were not living here currently so they were left to his care. So took his permission and cut out a few stems and used them to fill my empty pots. And with some nurturing and care, they have been doing pretty well so far. Welcome home babies πŸ’ŸπŸ’Ÿ

Rhoeo plant…they are so colourful 🀩
Aloe vera

Next up, I turned my attention to the kitchen. I did some research to see what veggies or greens can be grown easily and how to get started on them. For now, I used some pumpkin, papaya, lemon, chilly and coriander seeds and slowly they are coming out. Yet to get any fruits but it’s a joy seeing them come to life from a few dried seeds. I never realized how fun it is to see new stems popping out of the soil to form full grown plants. Here they are πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

My very own Chillies plant. Someday soon am hoping I can see chillies here 🌢️🌢️
Coriander
Pumpkin leaves
That’s lemon tree in the making…just sprouted a few days ago πŸ‹πŸ‹
I got greedy and planted quite a few pumpkin seeds and man, they grow fast
Papaya leaves

And like before (read Rebirth…), I planted some dried up leftover flowers into the soil and I can see new plants. Whether they bear flowers or not, we will have to wait and see.

From dried up flowers to new plants πŸ™‚

Well it’s been less than a year since I started working on my mini balcony garden. And I am still learning. Must say, being a plant parent is a lot of work. You gotta ensure you’re watering them right, make sure unwanted insects don’t eat up the leaves, get rid of them if need be, ensure they get adequate sunlight. But it’s also been a very enriching and fulfilling experience. It keeps me busy. It keeps me happy. And most importantly, it keeps me hopeful. Every time, a flower blossoms or a tiny little stem sprouts up from the soil, it’s just pure, unadulterated joy. And for that I thank my beautiful plant babies πŸ₯°πŸ˜.

Can you?

Things I can’t say out loud.. Can you?

Can you miss what you don’t have?

Can you drown in water if your head is still above?

Can you mourn what you haven’t lost?

Can you walk away from what you value the most?

Can you imagine what can never be?

Can you touch what you can’t see?

Can you hear the laughter and chuckle that isn’t there?

Can you feel the presence of the non existent everywhere?

Can you smell the fragrance that will not pervade your life?

Can you deal with the ever growing internal strife?

Can you envision the life ahead that will never be your reality?

Can you ever really accept your life and all its inherent abnormality?

Can you?



A Birthday, a R.E.U.N.I.O.N and an Anniversary

So 3 things happened in the past few days, which I would consider to be fairly significant milestones in my life.

First I celebrated my 30-something birthday on the 26th of May, which was by the way, my 2ND Lockdown birthday…and probably as a birthday gift from the universe, the F.R.I.E.N.D.S R.E.U.N.I.O.N aired the very next day πŸ₯³πŸ₯³. And today, I completed a full year of starting this blog.πŸ“βœοΈ

Lockdown birthdays be like

Ok so first about the birthday..like I mentioned, this was my second lockdown birthday. Last year too we were under total lockdown. Even getting a cake was difficult. There was no going out, no dressing up, no meeting with friends, no party shenanigans. Fortunately my parents were with me, so they made up for it with their love and pampering, including a scrumptious lunch prepared by my mother including all things my favourite. πŸ₯°πŸ˜‹

Last year, I bought a nice dress, thinking of wearing it when we step out once this pandemic is behind us. Stupid me. Am sure the pandemic devil was silently chuckling. And yes, like you would imagine that dress is still waiting to be worn. There was a time (even until last year) when I was hooked on to online shopping, I just couldn’t get enough things to buy. But now, even buying a simple top or a new pair of jeans seems like a long term investment. Who knows when I can actually wear them πŸ™„πŸ€·. Seems like pyajamas are here to stay and slay. ☹️

This year’s birthday was just like any other day this year. Only difference, I took leave from work, which is about as exciting and happening as it can be when you’re under total lockdown. Parents not here with me this time, so cooked up my favourite things, ate lots of cake (thanks to husband for pre-ordering from my favourite patisserie), spoke to Friends and family and spent a considerable amount of time being lazy and doing nothing productive. Come to think of it, maybe it wasn’t the best birthday I’ve had, but a day spent lazying around and doing absolutely nothing, is actually a day well spent indeed πŸ˜πŸ’€.

Infact, probably first time ever, I couldn’t wait for my birthday to get over coz the very next day it was time for the FRIENDS REUNION. Now if you have read my earlier posts, you would know that am a huge, huge fan. I dedicated an entire post to the series (read My ode to F.R.I.E.N.D.S) and I keep referring to them in every other post. For me the series is like comfort food, each episode like a spoonful of chocolate icecream. Familiar and comforting. Just what I need to get through the hiccups of the day. So imagine my excitement when I say that I was gonna see my favourite 6 people together again. At the same place and at the same time. After 17 years!! Could I BE any happierπŸ˜„πŸ˜„

❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️

When I heard of the team working on something, I was hoping they would take the story forward and we would see how their lives have shaped up after all these years. Did Joey ever fall in love and get married? Does Monica still laugh at chandler’s jokes? Are Ross and Rachel still together or are they again on a break? How many cats does Mike and Phoebe have at home? Is Janice still trying to woo chandler? Wouldn’t it be nice to know how these characters are doing after all these years. But I guess they thought it best to leave this to our imagination. And a reunion is what they planned for us fans.

And such a joy it was to see them all together again. I had goosebumps as I saw each of them walk into the same sets where they acted in all the 10 seasons. Watching them go down memory lane, reliving their character’s iconic moments, talk about their journey. It was just heart warming. And to know that Jen and David (Ross and Rachel) did actually have feelings for each other much like their onscreen characters….who knows maybe they could have been lobsters in real life too. Ok. I need to stop fantasizing. It was just a joy to see all of them come together and talk about and celebrate the greatest show ever (for me atleast). πŸ’—πŸ’—

My eyes my eyes πŸ’–πŸ’–

And lastly, today I completed 1 year of blogging. I opened this account to just vent and ramble on about things that bothered me, about things I wanted to discuss. I chose to go anonymous so that I could say things here that I refrain from sharing on other fancy social media platforms (read The half hearted smileβ€¦πŸ™‚πŸ™‚. ). I never thought anyone would read them,let alone like them. But, this past year has been so amazing. I have connected with some wonderful people here, who actually read and leave a comment on all my posts. I have had the opportunity to read so much here…. beautiful poetries, fictions, life experiences. It has been truly a fantastic experience and for that, I thank you all. I hope we can continue to inspire and motivate each other in the coming days. My love and gratitude to you all for the support and encouragement. πŸ’–πŸ€—

Would you like a DO-OVER?πŸ€”πŸ’­

Umm….I think I need both πŸ˜‚

Last night I was watching the new Netflix film ‘The woman in the window’, and while the movie was not that great (Amy Adams totally brilliant though), there was one scene that kind of stayed on with me….ok don’t wanna give out too much details in case you haven’t watched it and want to, but there is this one scene, where she records her thoughts on video..and she keeps saying that she wants to go back in time and do over things.

Got me thinking, don’t we all wish that we could go back in time and UNDO a few things…a few mistakes, a few bad decisions, few twists of fate. Wouldn’t it actually be wonderful to revisit these key moments in life and have a chance to RE-DO the same, but this time differently and see how that pans out.

As I started thinking about it, my mind was already making a list, and I sort of indulged it to live vicariously through this list. So these are the top things that made it to my make believe DO OVER list (in no particular order):

* I wish I could redo my childhood and had forced my parents for a sibling, so that they would have someone else to worry about and someone else to worry for them. πŸ˜…

* I wish I could undo the many months of pining over my first heartbreak…now in retrospect, it seems like such an epic waste of precious time crying over a guy and a relationship that really didn’t deserve so much fanfare from me…I could have used that time constructively to do so much more…like working on myself, learning new technology to enhance my career or maybe even casually dating some hot guys 😜

* I wish I could undo the terrible decision of leaving my first job. Had I stayed on even for a few months, I would have been settled abroad like the rest of my teammates. Talk about bad timing. πŸ™„

* I wish I got a chance to undo the twists of fate that ended up setting me off to a hospital so many times.

* I wish my body was not this unruly little pest doing whatever the hell it feels like, and that it behaved and stayed in its permissible limits and not cause so much drama. 😏

* I wish (and this I wish on behalf of everyone) that I could undo this scary pandemic that has taken over our lives and brought life to a standstill. Wish I could send it back to wherever the hell it came from and that we could have our old lives back. When I could go out, meet friends, travel, chill rather than staying at home, scared and paranoid. 😣

I know some of the above mentioned do-overs aren’t really in my control like the health issues, pandemic etc, but then so is the list…I can’t actually undo any of them. So why not list out the unpleasant events in my life and indulge in some wishful overthinking and fantasizing about the what ifs. πŸ’­πŸ’­

Now one might say that everything that happens in our lives, good or bad, makes us the person we are right now. True. But then, who’s to say this current version of me is the best version possible? Honestly, I think I would be much better off without some of these things happening. I could be happier, I could be more content, more successful, my life could be more fulfilling.

The only consolation- Maybe things are not as great as they could have been, but then, they could have been much much worse. And for that, I am grateful. πŸ™‚

All images from Google

What are some of the items in your DO-OVER List? Do mention it in the comments. Would love to read them all πŸ’•πŸ’•

Tough times

The world thought it had tamed the monster,

That they had succeeded in preventing another disaster.

Alas, Couldn’t have been more wrong,

The queue of body bags keeps getting long.

The times we face now are indeed grim and rough,

And as days go by, the going gets tough.

People all around are suffering,

Healthcare system is collapsing.

The cities are exhausted and breathless,

Everywhere you look, the governance is a shameful mess.

There’s panic and fear everywhere,

Without sufficient medicines, the less fortunate resorts to prayer.

The wise ones stay at home,

While the covidiots continue to roam.

Everyday is a new record.

But we are nowhere near the peak, mark my word.

When will we start to heal and mend?

Oh God, when will this nightmare end?

Dear all, Now is NOT the time to give up and despair,

Time to show our inherent human resilience extraordinaire.

We have to put up a brave fight to see this through,

Remember we are all in this together- me and you.

Together we will fight the monster, till we bid it adieu,

Coz tough times don’t last, but tough people do.


β€œEverybody goes through difficult times, but it is those who push through those difficult times who will eventually become successful in life. Don’t give up, because this too shall pass.”

― Jeanette Coron

Is there a secret formula to a happy marriage?? πŸ€”πŸ€”

The other day the husband got a Call from his bud…asking to meet for drinks and that he needed ‘to talk’. Upon his return (and some nudging), I came to know that their marriage has hit a rough patch and catching up for drinks was just an excuse to find a friendly ear to vent out the pent up frustrations and discuss the hell that his married life has turned into.

And this is not the first friend with marital woes… recently reconnected with one of my college buddies and he too complained of trouble in paradise…surprised me because he is one of the nicest, coolest person I know. Plus, he is married for less than a year….and here I was, assuming he is too busy enjoying his honeymoon period to bother about old friends…

Trouble in paradise

Tales of such marital discord definitely stays on longer in a woman’s mind than a man’s. I say this with some certainty seeing the nonchalance on my husband’s part and quite the opposite on mine πŸ˜›.

When you hear so much about trouble in other people’s married lives, you are bound to take a good, hard look at your own…wonder if all is indeed well…if you are really, truly happy or it’s a just a superficial facade while it’s rotting underneath?….is the pandemic to be blamed for this? Are people unraveling under the pressures of being stuck at home with each other 24/7 and that is causing all the pent up issues to come to the surface? I mean, before covid walked in, we all had busy lives, going to work, commuting, socializing with friends, colleagues..and barely had enough time to spend with our spouses….now we spend every waking moment seeing them around..

Now, neither am I any expert nor my marriage is perfect, but my husband and I have been together for almost 9 years now…dated for 5 and married for 4..and in these 9 years we have gone through stuff that most people face in their entire lifetime..sickness, loss, grief, financial struggles, and of course a pandemic (who can forget that)….the ride has often been extremely difficult, tempestuous and at times turbulent…more so for the circumstances than anything else. Like 2 people stranded on a little boat caught in a storm in the middle of the sea (remember Life of Pi people?), braving the weather and the adversities that come with it…in short, we have been sailing our way through some serious shit. Anyways, that’s a tale for another day and another post.

That’s definitely US riding that one πŸ™„πŸ™

My point is, I always thought, that marriage or any romantic relationship for that matter, stands on 3 pillars , much like a tripod stand on its 3 legs, namely
LOVE, LUST and FRIENDSHIP.
Of course, that’s oversimplifying a very complex dynamics but this was just how I categorised it as per my understanding when I was young, naive and perhaps stupid.

But, over the years, I have realized that perhaps this formula isn’t foolproof. Lets be honest, lust decreases after a point. After years together with the same person, the passion and intensity dwindles, some amount of monotony sets in (if that’s not the case with you…damn you make me jealous😜😜).
For love, I’d say it kinda plateaus out, meaning it reaches the peak and then flattens out, which is a good thing as it means it’s consistent (OK, have to admit this idea is borrowed. The husband said it one day and it just stuck with me🀫🀫). You don’t get butterflies in your stomach every time he walks in, or you don’t blush at every compliment and compliments themselves are few and far between πŸ™„πŸ€¨. But it’s the third leg that actually keeps the ball rolling – friendship.

Think about it, it is friendship that makes us comfortable with each other. If you’re better friends, chances are you’ll talk more, share more, communicate more, maybe even fight more and get things out of your system. You will enjoy each others’ company more and understand where each one stands on certain matters. And it will definitely make these stuck-at-home-pandemic-days more bearable. Of course there are many other factors such as trust, respect, loyalty etc at play. But broadly speaking, sustaining a happy , healthy relationship definitely lies in becoming better friends. That is assuming the other 2 factors remain constant. Coz a friendly-but-cheating partner does no good to this formula πŸ™„πŸ˜•πŸ˜ŽπŸ€¬πŸ˜‘

That’s just my opinion of things as I see it right now…do let me know if you agree or disagree. Peace 😊✌️

Love thy Neighbour..or at least know them!!

The pandemic has affected different people in different ways.. but for most of us, I can say with some confidence , that it has made us homebodies. We have realized there’s a certain joy in working from home dressed in our old, worn out tee and PJs and we ain’t getting out of them any time soon…move over Gucci, Versace…the new fashion trend is here to S-L-A-Y πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

There was a time when home was where we returned to at night, after a hectic day at work, to sleep at night. Or the place where we spent our lazy weekends, just resting, rejuvenating. Charging up our batteries for the crazy work week ahead. The time when Monday blues was indeed a real thing..a real feeling. Thanks to Covid, the home is now our safety net. Our fortress that ensures the enemy stays outdoors (mostly). Initially, like many of you, I struggled to cope with this huge change in my life and daily routine. Always staying indoors. Getting used to living 24/7 in this confined space took a while. But now, a year later, there’s no place I’d rather be. ❀️🏠

These days, the very thought of going out, getting out of my PJs and looking at the wardrobe trying to remember all the clothing (heaps of it) I own itself is tiring. I do enjoy the walks in the terrace and the occasional grocery shopping (rest is all ordered online), but for the most parts, I have kind of found solace in this forced isolation. I have learnt new things, developed new hobbies, rekindled old passion with the paint brush (not the exπŸ€ͺ) . Long story short, I find ways to keep myself as engaged and occupied as possible.

This transition has been somewhat bearable due to the technology at our disposal primarily Internet, smartphones, social media…thanks to them, we can still be connected to our friends and family, get work done (lots of it) and have some semblance of normalcy in this unprecedented time in the history of the world..

But once a while, I too am stuck with pangs of loneliness. Wanting to actually sit and chat with someone. Get to know them. Share a cup of coffee. Chat. Have a hearty laugh. Those times I crib endlessly to my husband, who looks at me with disbelief, that I still feel the need to talk more, in addition to the endless chitchat I forcefully engage him in dailyπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

The other day, while on a quick grocery shopping spree, I bumped into my new neighbor. I had an important work call to get to, so the interaction was very brief, and I did not even pay much attention to what she said as I had to run back home to make it to the call. So I just said ‘nice to meet you, do drop by sometime’ and went my own way without much thought into it. And frankly, I just said it as a courtesy and did not expect to meet her unless we bumped into each other in the elevator once again some other time.

But it was a pleasant surprise when she came by to say ‘Hi’ with a box of cupcakes (how could I not invite her in with a big smile after that πŸ˜›)…and we started talking…turns out we are from the same city, about the same age, speak the same language, have similar crazy hectic work lives, both struggling to manage work and household chores…just so much to relate to. And this time I was so engrossed in the conversation that time just flew by and when she said she had to leave, I realized we were chatting for almost an hour!!

This sudden visit from my new neighbor left me with several realizations. Thing is, I had heard they moved in into a flat on the same floor a few weeks back. But never bothered to go meet them, introduce ourselves, you know.. be the good neighbors.Yeah that’s how busy, preoccupied and self serving we millennials are. πŸ™„πŸ™„ Even when I was cribbing about feeling lonely and craving company, I never thought of reaching out. I should have. Especially now more than ever, when going out to meet friends and cousins may not be wisest thing to do. But am glad she did. Before leaving, she asked me to visit her sometime. I said ‘Yes, definitely. I’d love to’. This time I meant it and fully intend to follow through.

I was looking for a friend and it was waiting right next door!! How wierd yet how wonderful. Here’s looking forward to a new friendship πŸ₯‚πŸ˜Š

Cloudy.

It’s a cloudy day today,
And so is my mood.
Some things don’t feel right,
While others still feel good.

It’s just one of those days when I sulk and brood,
If you rub me the wrong way I can even be rude,
I feel like hiding under my hood,
Today, just today, just stop messing with me dude.

Reflecting on the things I have to do and the things I should,
Realize nothing much of that will happen, if to meetings and deadlines I remain glued,
If only the fretting and overthinking stopped, if only it could,
I know that would help a great deal in getting me out of the woods.

I need a generous dose of happiness,
To feel better, to uplift my grumpy mood,
Can chocolate do the magic? Hell it sure could.
Suddenly I hear it…a faint thunder roll in the distance…and a few precious raindrops on the window pane,
And I know for sure..God has rewarded me with an instant feel good. πŸ™‚πŸŒ§οΈβ›ˆοΈ

Long distance Friendship…

Let me start by saying that this is NOT a review of ‘Firefly Lane’, the latest drama series from Netflix, but rather about my experience while watching it- the many flashbacks, the many reflections and contemplations…in short this post is about my personal experience with the series.. however there might be some spoilers so if you haven’t seen it and want to see it, then perhaps you should come back after watching and that way I am sure you will be able to relate to it much more.

So this is a story about a chance encounter between 2 teenaged girls. Two people Who couldn’t be more different. While one is the school hottie, the other is a total nerd (loved her oversized glasses πŸ€“) and how gradually they become best friends for life. The series unfolds in 3 timeframes starting from their teenage years, to their 20s all the way upto their 40s..giving us a peak into their lives and personalities and how they grow and evolve with time.

Note: To all of you who are 70’s and 80’s kids…man I envy you….that was such a cool time to be a young adult… rebellious and free and ready to take on the world 😎😎

The story delves into several sensitive issues such as homosexuality and the social stigma around it which is still prevalent today, drug abuse, difficult pregnancies, infidelity,mid life crisis, office politics, exploitation at workplace, sibling rivalry, generation gap between parents and children especially teenagers, loss of a loved one, grief and how different people cope with it differently. All of these issues are woven seamlessly into the story and dealt with maturely and sensitively. Yet at the heart of it, it’s a story about friendship and how truly important it is in our lives.

The series made me reflect on my friendship with my best friend. Just like the 2 protagonists, we couldn’t be more different. She is fiercely independent and ambitious, determined to achieve great things, while I am more easy going, laid-back. My talent for procastrination is legendary. She can vouch for that πŸ˜‚. Watching the series took me back in time, remembering the first time I met my bestie in 6th grade. Never thought we would be friends, let alone be best friends even after all these years. It reminded me of all the crazy things we would do like bunking classes and secretly chilling at the bottom of the stairs. Oblivious to the world and the teacher’s wrath. It reminded me of the dire need to discuss each and every miniscule thing with her. Praying for her to approve and get along with the boyfriend in college. Discussing and dissecting every fight, every heart break, every family gossip. Just pouring my heart out to her. Coz, as different as we were and still are, she gets me. She understands me like no other.

However, as I binge watched the whole series over the weekend, there was one thing I envied about their friendship. One thing they didn’t have and we do. Distance. Coz we have spent majority of the 2 decades of friendship living in different countries. Although that hasn’t stopped us from being there for each other during the good times and the bad. No. Never. We have always been an integral part of each others’ lives. Breakups, college, marriage, sickness, jobs..we have been with each other during all such milestone moments. But it’s the little things that we miss out on. Like if one of us had a shitty day at work, we can’t meet up, vent and then forget the blues while watching a chick flick together. If I am feeling low, I can pick up the phone and talk to her but I won’t get to hug her and feel the world is not so bad after all. If she had a bad day, I can only say ‘it will be okay’, but I can’t give her a surprise visit with her favourite food to cheer her up….I realized that we indeed do miss out on these little, precious moments ☹️☹️

Firefly lane may have its flaws but one thing it does get right..is the portrayal of friendship…it will make your heart crave for a friendship as strong as theirs. And if you are fortunate enough to have such a friend, it will make you love and value them even more. And if they are far away, it will make you reach out for your phone to call them and talk to them and tell them how much you love them. πŸ’•πŸ’•

Here’s one of my favourite quotes on friendship from the film Bride wars…which I also quoted on my bff’s wedding day 😊

New year resolutions for 2021…

The new year had a rocky start,

Ex bestie decides to make a comeback,

But over the years we have grown apart,

So in a reconciliation, total interest I lack.

Putting it behind me, I decide to move ahead,

Not too late for some new year resolutions,

So I make a list of things to cut down on, starting with bread.

Add a point to clear my head and deal with all the confusions.

This year I vow to be punctual,
Be more disciplined, follow a strict routine..

Early to bed, early to rise shall be my daily ritual.

Try to eat less sugar and definitely cut down on caffeine.

I resolve to go on a healthy diet and lose some weight,

Do yoga, exercise or atleast a brisk walk everyday,

Will indulge in more of self love and less of hate,

To feel bright and positive in every way.

Will do better time management,

To maintain a healthy work life balance,

Stand my ground against bossy temperament,

And not get frustrated and suffer in silence.

I will strive to blog more, read more,

To stir up more storms in the kitchen…

To pursue new hobbies after completing daily chores,

No matter what comes my way, I will maintain calm and become more zen.

These are some of the promises I make to myself this year,

Let’s see how much I accomplish.

Will try to live healthy, be happy and live without fear.

For 2021, that’s really my only wish.

BFF…Best friends (NOT) forever..

I thought I will start 2021 with a positive blog like a new year resolution list (don’t we all love listing out things none of which we will perhaps accomplish)…. but I guess that wasn’t meant to be… something happened or rather ‘someone’ happened that made me feel like I need to write about it, and vent out in the process…

In school, we were known as the 3 musketeers, always together and absolutely inseparable. Shared lunches, all our secrets, were witnesses to our first crushes, boyfriends, graduation. I knew in my heart that I had 2 lifetime friends in them and no matter time, distance or anything else, nothing could separate us.

But then….life happened…our education and later work lives took us to different places..we promised to keep in touch and made it a point to meet when in town and spend as much time as possible. But gradually such meetups reduced, lies, complexities and insecurities increased,issues and misunderstandings piled up. Two of us found some common ground and stayed best friends like before, while the third leg of the tripod slowly started giving away..growing more distant and almost became someone that I felt like I barely knew. And after a point, I just stopped trying to figure out what was going wrong. And gradually but surely enough, we drifted apart. And now, it’s been so long since we last met or spoke that we are as good as strangers. Isn’t that just sad. But alas that’s the way it is.

And over time, I made my peace with it. After all we were besties when we were young, immature and life was much less complicated. And now we have become such different people with such different lives. We have nothing in common anymore. We are as good as strangers.

However, things took an interesting turn at the start of the year. This erstwhile bestie suddenly raises hell and declares a comeback. Incessant calls, messages on every social media I use. It was like I was being stalked 24/7.

I ignored for a while. But then contemplated talking out things with her. If not for anything, but just to honour the friendship we once had. And maybe she had realised things and had changed as a person. So I did start replying to some of her messages. To start a conversation and see where it goes. But pretty early on in the conversation, especially when she said things like ‘i don’t even know why you’re pissed’, I realized she was oblivious to all that she had done, all the times she truly hurt me, all the times she lied to me, broke my trust, helped my ex cheat on me, the countless times she said things behind my back…even after all these years, she was oblivious to her wrong doings and never admitted to any of those things.

It didn’t take me long to realise that we really couldn’t go back to being what we were, because the very foundation of any good relationship is Trust. And if I can’t trust her completely, what’s even the point of being friends? So with a heavy heart and a clear conscience, I wished her well and requested her to let things be. But She wouldn’t listen to any of it. It was like she was on a mission to mend things. Maybe it was one of her new year resolutions that I was just not letting her tick off.

I remained firm in my decision. Her non stop messages and calls have since subsided. I wonder if I did the right thing. But God knows, I have enough shit on my plate to be able to handle her drama. Maybe at another time, at another juncture in life, I would have been more patient and forgiving. But At this point in time, I just don’t have the energy or the patience to deal with this once-best friend-now attention seeking stranger. But I sincerely do wish her well and hope she can check off the remaining items from her new year resolutions list. 😐😐

“Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I’m glad for that.” – Ally Condie

Blame it on 2020…

Imagine, in a family of four, where the parents are overachievers and the older bro is a monumental failure of epic proportions, who is considered by parents to be an useless worthless imbecile, capable of no good and you’re the little brother. The one on whom the entire family’s expectations lie. The one who is their last or rather only hope of fulfilling all their dreams, aspirations and making their lives enriched and better in every aspect.

I cannot, for the life of me imagine to be in the shoes of the younger brother. If I were, I’d run as fast as I could and hide where I can’t be found, rather than be in the spotlight where I will be upon constant scrutiny, where my every move will be watched with waited breath by the family, with all their hopes of a better future pinned on my fragile shoulders. Every step taken would be assessed if it’s in the right direction. Every little setback, every little failure will be blown out of proportion as though it’s the beginning of doomsday alright. Living under the tremendous pressure of such huge expectations, with the constant fear of disappointing the family, of not living upto expectations, of not being everything they hoped for, Of being a failure just like the elder brother, if not worse. It would be just too much to bear. Well thankfully I am not and will never be in that sitation (bless my folks, am an only child, so I have no competition. I set my own benchmarks of failures and keep surpassing it year after yearπŸ˜›πŸ˜›), but seems like poor 2021 aint so lucky and seems to be that little brother in the scenario.

Since today is the last day of the worst year in recent memory, social media is flooded with all kinds of memes, hashtags that wishes good riddance and a final goodbye at last to 2020 and how eagerly everyone awaits the start of 2021. It clearly shows how people are just done with this year 2020 and the shitload of troubles it brought with it. And considering all that we have witnessed this year, it’s hardly any surprise that we have developed this animosity towards the year. So much so, that whatever bad happens, we are always quick to blame it on the year. Not considering the fact, that on some level, we have only ourselves to blame. But no, why take responsibility for our own actions when we can conveniently blame it on the year. Whether it’s the covid-19 pandemic, bushfires in Australia, floods in Indonesia, an earthquake in Turkey, or anything unfortunate in any part of the world, all the blame has been pinned on 2020, declaring it to be the Satan’s year, even though most of these calamities have had human greed and interference to be blamed as the root cause. But why take the onus on ourselves and make amends for the damage done when we can conveniently pass the blame..and so ever since the year started to take a turn for the worse, the year 2020 has been dissed and slammed like no other..I even saw a video where a guy talks about being dumped by his girlfriend. She blames it on his infidelity. He blames it on 2020. 🀣🀣

2020 Are you done?

But what’s really amusing is to see how people are so convinced that the moment the clock strikes midnight, 2020 will disappear for good and on its way out,it will also take with it all the problems that came with it (or rather the ones we have accused it of bringing but was actually our own doing). As if by magic, all our troubles will go away. Corona will disappear as mysteriously as it appeared, bushfires will stop on their own. Locusts will retreat. flood water will drain out. Hurricane struck uprooted trees will get back to their former glory. Homeless will get back their homes. Jobless will get back their jobs. Sick will regain their health. How wonderful to imagine and hope that all this will happen by a mere change in date. If only life worked like that. πŸ˜πŸ€·πŸ€¨πŸ™„

Hope 2021

But I guess a little hope never did any harm. And honestly we don’t have much else to go on with at this point. So here’s hoping that 2021 ain’t such a badass, lives upto expectations and treats us well. Happy new year y’allπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

Happy new year from me and mine to you and yours ❀️❀️

Christmas..A Season Of Celebration and Gratitude.

Whether we like it or not, we are running a rat race with super busy and hectic lives. Thankfully, Christmas is that time of the year to connect and reconnect with friends and family. This gives us an opportunity to catch up with those who we may not get an opportunity to talk to as frequently as we would like. And trust me, it’s really wonderful, reminiscing the good ol’ days or just making all kinds of plans to meet soon. Whether or not that materialises is a different matter altogether. But no harm in planning exotic vacations or a much needed reunion. And sometimes during such conversations, some things come up that really force you to think long and hard about things.

One such thing happened when last night I had a long chat with my cousin sister. She lives in San Jose, California. During the hour long call she gave me updates about how their skiing trip was cancelled due to the lockdown enforced in light of the second wave of the pandemic. How for the first time in a really long time, they are celebrating Christmas at home all by themselves. How my niece who was so excited about experiencing college life is now forced to do online classes and is so bored at home that she is picking up new hobbies everyday. How my little nephew is inventing new games to play all by himself. She also mentioned that every year they raise money and buy all kinds of supplies like groceries and blankets and take them personally to the nearby shelters for the poor and less fortunate ones. Over the years, it’s become like a Christmas tradition for them and they make sure their kids help out and in the process know and appreciate how blessed they are. But this year, she mentioned how things were so different.

This year there were far more people queueing up outside the shelter…some had walked for miles to reach the venue, some had been living on the streets for days as they couldn’t find beds in any of the nearby shelters. This time she saw far more homeless families than usual. And upon talking to them, they came to know that most of them were in such dire straits due to loss of employment as many shops/factories/businesses had shut down due to the pandemic and the lockdowns imposed thereafter. Their limited savings were spent, now they were unable to pay their bills, house rent, school fees and were thus on the streets. Homeless. At their wit’s end trying to figure out their next meal. The plight of these families was so overwhelming for my sister that she decided to cut down on their own Christmas budget and extend some more help to these families. Even while narrating the incident, I could hear her choke up.

As for me, well for one, I couldn’t be more proud of her, as her little act of generosity surely would have gone a long way in helping someone in need. But it also got me thinking, if things are as bad as this in the world’s largest economy, then the situation is bound to be much much worse elsewhere. I just couldn’t get the thought out of my mind, of all these families who are jobless, homeless, penniless, with nowhere to go, nobody to turn to. How helpless they must feel. How hopeless the world must seem.

It really made my problems seem silly and inconspicuous in comparison. Made me realize how, so very often, we take things for granted. How ungrateful we are for the things we have. How much we complain and crib about not getting things that we don’t even need.

Yes, this year has been different. It’s been a year like no other. Life has been hectic, chaotic. Life has been mundane, unpleasant. The world out there is unsafe. We are in the grips of an unknown, invisible enemy. We are all living in fear, uncertainty, anxiety. In short, in the past year, life has been difficult and not much has happened to be thankful for.

But we must remind ourselves, that if we have a roof over our head, food on our plate, a warm bed to sleep in, enough money to pay our bills and the love of our near and dear ones, then that’s enough and more reason to be grateful and thankful this Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all πŸŽ…β˜ƒοΈπŸŽπŸŽ„β€οΈπŸ˜€

Christmas is forever,
Not for just one day.
For loving, sharing, giving,
Are not to put away.
Like bells and lights and tinsel,
in some box upon a shelf.
The good you do for others,
Is good you do yourself.

Norman W. Brooks

Life in the times of Corona…

Gone are the days when we could be happy and free,

Now home quarantined is all we can be,

Applying sanitizer, wearing face mask,

This is now the most important task.

Life was once so busy, commuting to work, all the traffic,

Now they seem like sweet memories, which once felt truly horrific.

Weekends were for socializing, to go out to wine and dine,

Now all days feel the same, sitting in front of the laptop pretending to be Miss sunshine.

But am not complaining,

Probably just reminiscing,

How different our lives used to be,

And how much it has changed, for our safety I agree.

But we must still be grateful,

For being healthy than sick is far more beautiful.

Thankful that we still have family and friends,

Whom we shall soon meet, once this pandemic ends.

Here’s hoping that day comes soon,

When we remember this time as a boon.

Until then, hang in there with some patience,

With the belief that our old normal will soon commence.

β€œI don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.” – Anne Frank

Rebirth…

The other day I got some beautiful marigolds for decorating the house…once the celebrations were done and the flowers had served their purpose (guess I’d like to believe that, rather than it actually being true)..the idea dawned upon me…rather than throwing it away in the garbage, why don’t I put it back where it came from…the soil…so I put these flowers in the mud inside a small glass pot and began my daily routine of watering and careful monitoring of the progress if any (as I honestly wasn’t too optimistic about my gardening skills)..

For the next few days, I was a keen observer…carefully assessing if there is any development. Any signs of change in the soil or the sight of a slender, young green shoot popping its way out of the soil. No luck. When this continued for almost a week or so, honestly I was quite disheartened. My first attempt at gardening (or rather creating a new plant from old flowers) seemed to be a very obvious failure. Searches on YouTube showed how things had to be done with some technicalities in mind, which obviously I didn’t do..so I guess my optimism was running out.

However, I kept watering the soil..just in case…And imagine my surprise, when suddenly, probably after 2 weeks or so after starting off on this experiment, I see tiny young stems making their way out of the soil…talk about little things giving immense joy…that never felt more true…I had not only become an ace gardener (ok, yes I know am really exaggerating, but what the heck..pat on my back nevertheless πŸ˜›πŸ˜›), but i also felt exhilarated that those dried up withered flowers (which I probably would have thrown away) were now going to blossom into beautiful flowers yet again…isn’t that what we call Rebirth…the miracle of nature?? 😊😊

This simple feat (yes I insist on calling it that) left me with several profound realisations… first being ‘Not to give up’..if I had stopped watering them midway seeing no progress, these little shoots would have literally never seen the light of day. That reamphasized the virtue of Patience (I tend to run out of it from time to time). It also reaffirmed my belief that its not always about being technically correct. Listening to your heart can also be equally fruitful. And most importantly, it gave me new sense of respect for the Cycle of life itself…we too are just like these flowers….we grow, we blossom, we thrive, we perish into the ground..only to be reborn again….just like these flowers, we too are eternal.

  • β€œSometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person.” …

Now am just going to continue to shower my love and care (and of course other basics such as water and sunlight) to make sure these tiny leaves and shoots can grow stronger roots and eventually fill the pot with beautiful flowers. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’

Happiness v/s Sadness..who wins??

The other day, while talking to my mother-in-law, she told me “dear, you have been living in isolation at home for the past 6 months, you must make phone calls and talk to people more often. Call your friends, cousins..just talk to them regularly about anything that’s bothering you and which you can’t discuss with us oldies. It’s always good to get things off of your chest”. I know it was a well intended piece of advice from someone who cares a great deal, but as if on autopilot mode, pat came the reply “No thank you, I don’t need to share my problems with anyone”. The reply was brazen and there was an uncomfortable, awkward silence for a few seconds before I said “I am fine. Really. Don’t worry”, in an effort to get past this awkward juncture in the conversation.

Truth be told, the sheer bluntness of my reply caught me by surprise. And am sure it surprised her as well. Because, anybody who knows me, sees me as a bubbly, cheerful, talkative individual. And it is true. I am that. I am comfortable talking non stop, even with strangers!! I love socializing, meeting people, be it family or friends, having pleasant conversations. Forwarding double meaning WhatsApp chats πŸ˜›πŸ˜›. You can talk about anything under the sun. And I will have my 2 cents to add to that. I am easy going and have no airs or pretences. I am just as comfortable with someone I met recently and know nothing about, as I am with my oldest friends.

But that happy go lucky exterior is just a part of me. A part that all people see. The part that I want them to see. And like I mentioned earlier. That part IS me. I am not faking it or pretending. But there’s a whole other part which is unknown to the world, including many I have known my entire life.

This is the part that is fighting a silent fight every moment of every day. The one that’s in constant pain. Physical pain? Yes, very much so, due to the myriad health issues. But much more than that, it’s the mental pain. Pain of not having so many things I wanted, of not getting to experience so many things that most people take for granted. It’s the part that lives in constant fear, anxiety and grief. The part that’s always afraid of what the future holds. The part that always overthinks, over stresses and over analyzes and is basically in panic mode 24/7. Most people who know me have no clue about this other part. This other side of me. It’s like 2 dual personalities coexisting, almost like the story of Jekyll and Hyde. Just that, here it’s not a case of good and evil. Rather, a case of happy and sad.

This brief conversation really got me thinking. Why is it that I find it easy to share my happiness with others but never my sadness? Share the little joys but never the sorrow? After all, that too is as much a part of me and who I am. And it’s not that people haven’t reached out to me, offering to listen with genuine intent. But the moment that happens, I freeze. Unable to speak, unable to communicate. Unable to share. Unable to open up. What am I so afraid of? Being judged? Being perceived differently? Being labeled a crybaby? I pondered over this question for quite a while. And even now, I don’t have a 100% clear answer to that. But I think I figured out a few possible reasons for that.

Maybe I don’t share my sorrows because I don’t want to look weak, or maybe because I don’t want anybody’s sympathy. God, I know I hate that when people say ‘oh poor you’, ‘don’t worry everything will be fine’ and other such well meaning stuff which are probably said out of genuine concern, BUT no, I don’t want it. I don’t want to be the sad, hopelessly depressed soul who people start ignoring and avoiding after a while, coz ‘oh she’s such a drama’ or ‘oh she’s such an epic bore’, or ‘poor thing, she’s been through so much, no wonder she’s so sad’. No, certainly not what I want.

Because you see, I really believe that some fights are personal. Some battles are best fought alone. Just like the good and evil are always at war inside us, so is the happy and sad. And just like good triumphs over evil, on the days or moments, when that happiness triumphs over the sadness…..well that’s a battle well fought and won. And each such moment, when I choose to keep aside the sadness and decide to BE happy (not fake it), it’s definitely worth celebrating. To pat and tell myself ‘Girl, you did well!!’. It’s like a party thrown by me…For Me!! After all, who can understand you better than yourself? Who can really push you and be your biggest motivator? YOU!! πŸ˜€πŸ˜Ž

Happiness is a decision~ Michael J Fox.

So for the outside world, I’d rather be the gal with the cherubic smile.  The one who’s fun to be around. The one with no worries. And maybe eventually, I will BE that person. FULLY.

We’ll see how that goes.
Here’s hoping. πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

Ps. All images are from Google.

Edit: seeing the comments, I should clarify..my mom in law understands my need to do this myself and we are totally cool. We immediately patched up and are back to chit-chatting, including some family gossips πŸ˜œπŸ˜›πŸ˜‚

Break Free…

As children we all used to be
So happy and gay,
Innocent, chirpy and all kinds of naughty
Our future troubles seemed to be so far far away…

As we started growing up,
Life got more and more complicated..
As troubles arrived, we had to buckle up,
Innocence gone and simplicity hated…

Life became all about appearance,
Capturing perfect pictures rather than making memories that last…
Likes,comments,shares and all such millenial nuisance,
It was all about being popular and how fast…

Took a while to realize what’s wrong,
Life is about making yourself happy…
Dancing in the rain, singing your favourite song,
To pause, take a long breath and just BE…

So let the world’s opinion of you blur in the background,
Make yourself your first priority…
Those who love you will always stick around,
So take off the worldly shackles and just BREAK FREE…

Pics from Free Photo library

Quarantine Learnings

Year 2020 will go down in history for a lot many things…but most significantly for the pandemic that has brought the entire world to a standstill and crippled us all with fear and anxiety. It has heralded a new way of life, which unfortunately, seems to be here to stay. But everything, good or bad, teaches us something new, something valuable. And this Corona situation is no different.

Firstly, it has added many words to my vocabulary..some new, some old, some seldomly used: to begin with the name of the nightmare itself- THE Corona virus/COVID-19, followed by other words which have come to be a part of our lingo these days, such as epidemic, pandemic (honestly I had never bothered to know the difference between the two words before..big mistake!!), lockdown, isolation, home quarantine, self quarantine, containment, isolation, PPE, co-morbidity, herd immunity, fatality rate, sanitization, community spread, symptomatic, asymptomatic, immunocompromised (which I amπŸ˜”)…and of course the word of the year perhaps… SOCIAL DISTANCING.

In addition to all these, there are several fun, new words doing the rounds on social media such as coronials or quaranteens (babies created during Corona times), quarantrends, quarantees, quarantech, quarantrolls….and my favourite so far…the COVIDIOTS (I often mumble this under my mask when I see ignorant blokes on the roads without masks).

The past six months have also taught me a whole lot of other things. Like I can bear to spend 24/7 for 6 months straight without killing my husband (and vice versa)…inspite of serious temptation on some occasions πŸ˜›πŸ˜›. On a serious note, it has increased my awareness and sense of responsibility. Even if I want, I cannot throw caution to the wind and take off without my mask and sanitizer coz I know it can be dangerous for my old ailing parents staying with me. So in a way it has reaffirmed the importance of loving my family, caring for their well being and being a support system to them. And I have to admit, these circumstances have actually given us the gift of time..to spend it with loved ones.

This lockdown phase has made me firmly believe that each of us are masters at multitasking. From working long hours in front of laptops to cooking, cleaning, spending time with family and also making time for ourselves…if we want, we can really do it all. Infact, I look at it as a blessing because it keeps me busy, my mind occupied and helps to keep up some semblance of normalcy in an otherwise abnormal time and world. And it finally forced me to do something that I always wanted but never quite got to doing… Blogging. And thus here I amπŸ€—.

Tune in to any TV channel or any social media platforms  and one can see the alarming situation in almost every country. People are dying, losing jobs, employment, livelihoods are at a risk. The healthcare systems are beginning to crumble due to the astounding number of patients and casualties. The economy plummeting to all time lows. It’s the same in almost every country. It’s all pretty disturbing and upsetting. And it really makes one wonder about how shallow we are that we worry about miniscule things when there is so much suffering and pain all around. Reminds me of the need to be grateful for what I have rather than crib about what I don’t. This whole pandemic situation has been humbling, to say the least.

If nothing else, quarantined life has definitely taught me the virtues of resilience, patience and hope. Resilience to stay put until this storm passes. To see the end of it(hopefully soon). Patience to endure these difficult times, to stay in the  safety of my home without yielding to the allure of the outside world which beckons to my outdoor-loving heart. With the hope that one day we will conquer this evil and world will be a safe place again. And when that happens, I hope I can step out into the new world as a better version of myself, thanks to all that I learnt during these past few months of quarantined life. Here’s wishing that day comes soon. πŸ™β˜ΊοΈ