Dungeon of darkness β¬›

Just when you think things are going right,

Something unexpected and devastating hits you,

And suddenly everything is as dark as night.

No air to breathe and no sight to view.


You’re plunged into a dungeon of hopelessness,

From where it feels impossible to come out,

The harder you try, the more you feel helpless.

Scream and cry as much, there’s no way of breaking out.


Engulfed in darkness,

Plummeting to an abyss of despair,

Feelings going numb, upto the point of inertness,

Paranoia permeating every cell in your body, leaving you gasping for air.


The happy memories of the past are now distant and a blur,

The chances of them returning in the future seems bleak,

The voice in your head says ‘Keep going’ but they slur,

Your body paralyzed with fear, too numb, too weak.


What do you do in such a situation?

How do you get out of this mess?

Will you ever get to see the rays of sunshine outside this dungeon?

Or will this be your permanent home now, this dungeon of darkness??


Have you guys ever felt like this at some point in time or the other? What do you do? How do you push yourself to get out of this dark space and motivate yourself to be positive and never let go of the optimism? Do share in the comments. Am sure it will be helpful to many, including ME….hope you all are doing well…stay healthy and be happy friendsπŸ’ŸπŸ’Ÿ

A deadly affair: A rock concert. ME. And Pneumonia!!

Well to be honest, i had been working on another post, but the events that have unfolded in the past few weeks compelled me to write this one. After all, who doesn’t like a dark, twisted tale of fate. So here goes.

I mean it!! 😠🀬

About 2 weeks back, my husband was browsing a site to check out the list of upcoming music concerts in our city. To our surprise, one of our favourite Dj (an internationally renowned one with many many hits to his credit) was slated to perform on the 15th April in our city. As soon as we saw this, our excitement was palpable and we booked tickets then and there, as it was something on both our bucket lists (yeah, we are those who take the bucket list pretty seriously and strive to check off items and then maybe add some more). It was gonna be epic and we were excited and ecstatic about it.

Coincidentally, the day of the concert was also our new year..while most would spend the day in ethnic wear, preparing and eating traditional delicacies, we were gonna spend the day drinking beer, jumping and head banging!! So on the D- day, we headed off to the venue, super excited. The venue was all set for the rock concert. It was an open air concert, and when we reached, the weather was cloudy, breezy and all seemed just perfect. Until..

Glimpses from the concert 🀘

It started raining!! Yepp, a few hours into the show when some of the other DJs were playing, it started drizzling. Like i mentioned, it was an open air venue, with absolutely no shades to hide under. And who on earth ever carries an umbrella or raincoat to a rock show. Adrenaline was high. So were our spirits (quite literally if you know what I mean 😜🍻🍻). So like the 20,000 others present, we too got drenched in the rain, enjoying the thrill and fun of it all. Thankfully the rain stopped after a while, but not before we were drenched considerably. But the show continued. And so did our enthusiasm. The show went well. We enjoyed immensely. But trouble started when we were searching for a ride back home. No cabs. For a whole 2 hours!! It was way past midnight when we somehow managed to get a cab at an exorbitant rate and ride back home. The show was great. We had fun. Our day went very well. Or so I thought. πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘

But the very next morning, I felt feverish. Over the course of the next few days, i got high fever and was coughing incessantly. Things started going downhill. By the 4th day, I knew this was not a seasonal fever and a visit to the hospital was calling. I listened to my body and my mother’s frantic calls about taking it seriously and get medical attention. And so we went straight to the ER. Once there, they immediately observed my oxygen levels were dipping and I was put on oxygen support. Had to be admitted and spent the next few days on oxygen support with a gazillion tests being done. When the reports came back, the doctors were in for a shock. So were we. I had got a severe chest infection. ‘you got pneumonia’ they said.

If you remember, i had mentioned in my earlier post (read 2022 seems to be a mixed bag so far…) i was down with Covid in February. I had mild symptoms and recovered without any major issues then. But turns out, my tryst with covid then had weakened my already f**ked up immune system and now this ‘whole getting drenched in the rain + staying drenched for several hours+ cold breeze at late night’ combination culminated into this horrible mess and I ended up in my 2nd home..the hospital. 😫😡

Lessons learnt the hard way😒

As i lay in the hospital bed, breathing in the oxygen-for-hire, watching the tensed faces of my parents, the bewildered look on my husband’s face and the exhausted look on my doctor’s face (he has been dealing with my medical antiques for years now), i couldn’t help but wonder at the absurdity of it all. Out of the 20,000 people at the concert, all were drenched, most faced the same predicament with the unavailability of cabs while returning, did anyone else face such a situation wherein they ended up in the hospital with a near fatal infection?? Of course, i don’t know the answer to that. But something tells me, i am probably the only (un)lucky one to be in this situation!! And to think that I was dreading a hangover the next day. How stupid am I?? πŸ™„πŸ™„

I am serious 😠🀬

Well, by god’s immense grace and my mother’s incessant prayers, i am now out of the hospital, recuperating at home. Taking medicines, doing my breathing exercises. Hoping my lungs recover soon from this nasty infection and once again attain their former glory of being perpetually high (on oxygen)!! Might take a while but hope to get there soon enough.

So what has this bizarre turn of events taught me?

A) If there is a slightest chance of the weirdest shit happening, and i am in the vicinity, then it will definitely happen (coz, just my luck)

B) I am extraordinary, so are my health issues. So take no chances, and head to the ER at the earliest.

C) Always carry an umbrella to an open air event!! Or anywhere for that matter.

D) No matter what, keep the humour alive, even if that means laughing at your own misfortunes.

So That’s what was keeping me busy the past few weeks. Hope you guys had it better. Much love to ya’ll πŸ’•πŸ’•

2022 seems to be a mixed bag so far…

It seems like only an instant back, we were welcoming the new year, hoping that year 2022 will do away with all our worries and compensate all the loss and hopelessness with abundant happiness and of course prosperity. And now 2 months have already gone by…

How has the year been for you all so far?? All good? All bad? For me, I think it’s been a rollercoaster ride with a mixed bag of events and emotions. I have experienced tranquility and turmoil. A sense of Zen and chaos.

Like i mentioned in my previous post New beginnings 🏠, we shifted to our new home. The last weeks of December and first weeks of January were spent settling in. Trying to make this new place a home of our liking. We threw a small house warming party for some friends and family. 2022 seemed to start off on a rather nice note. Until..

I got a call from my parents saying they were both having fever and cold. These days, these 2 words together immediately sets off the panic button. Asked them to get tested and yupp, sure enough..they both tested covid positive. Living so far away, I felt pretty helpless and all i could do was keep calling to check up on them and occasionally ordering food online for them to get a break from the monotony of quarantining at home. Thankfully, they are vaccinated and were/are gradually recovering. And within a week of them testing positive, my husband and I also fell sick and tested positive. And we never even stepped out of home. All we did was go down to pick up online delivered groceries and the occasional evening walks. And that was enough to catch the damned virus!! 😡😫

Covid, you suck!! πŸ˜«πŸ˜“πŸ˜°πŸ˜¨πŸ₯΅πŸ₯ΆπŸ˜“

Now I had heard that the new variant is not that powerful and all. I have been severely sick in the past due to various other ailments, but let me tell you, that no other time have I experienced such body pain and fatigue. Even when I was hungry, I couldn’t bring myself to get up and eat, let alone cook or work. Nobody could come and help us, as we were in isolation. Our parents were worried sick (literally in this case πŸ˜›). Even though the fever and body pain subsided in a few days, we were left feeling tired and exhausted beyond measure. I was off work for 3 weeks!! That’s the longest leave I have had in 4 years!! Thankfully we both took care of each other and are slowly and hopefully coming out of it.

So to all those who are feeling that the pandemic is over, I’d request you to be cautious. It’s still very much out there and ready to bite your ass. And it’s NOT a pleasant experience at all.

These days of home quarantine can be lonely and isolating, making one feel bored, restless,or even melancholic. But there were 2 things that kept me going…While the doctor prescribed meds took care of my body and helped it fight the virus, there were 2 things in my life that gave me mental peace, restored the zen in me and filled my life with the much needed dose of hope and positivity. First is of course my Plant babies. Infact after moving in, I have added some more to my mini garden. Even when I was down and out with fever and body pain due to the virus, I dragged myself to water the plants atleast on alternate days. Having my morning tea in my garden, seeing the flowers bloom, the morning breeze rustling the green leaves, and seeing them soak up the sunlight and thrive, made me feel so much better. They literally acted as a balm to my throbbing head and aching body. Plants truly add color and hope in our lives. They have been one of my favourite companions throughout the pandemic for the past 2 years. πŸŒΏπŸŒ±πŸ’“

I started this as a hobby but in these last 2 years, I have developed a true love for gardening. Here are some pics of my new plant babiesπŸ₯°πŸ₯°. Hope you like them….

Also, we have an addition to our family…we got some fish babies for our aquarium 🐠🐟…the aquarium was inbuilt in the new house…an empty aquarium looks bad we thought, so just for the purpose of aesthetics and decoration, we got 10 small ones…and we instantly fell in love with them. We gave them names and fed them and I have spent many hours watching their every movement and even talking to them (Crazy much?? 😝😝)!! Sadly, 2 died within the first 2 days…even though they were with us for only a day or so, losing them felt devastating..my husband refused to just throw them in the trash and felt we should bury them, as it seemed like a more humane thing to do…so I buried them in one of the plant pots…those of you who have had similar experiences, what do you guys do in such a case?? Just curious, I don’t want to bury any more of them πŸ˜”

Thankfully the others are doing fine and just seeing them play around, fight, snooze or swim around have made my quarantine days somewhat exciting and eventful. Here’s a peak:

Newest members of the family πŸ’Ÿ
My fish babies playing about πŸ’ŸπŸ’Ÿ

So that’s how the first 2 months of 2022 have been…one on end there was sickness (covid), death (fish), loneliness and despair (isolation) and on the other there were changes (moving in), additions (plants,fish), growth (blossom and bloom). So it’s really been a mixed bag of emotions and experiences for me, hope the rest of the year is mundane without any unpleasant surprises up its sleeves…how has 2022 been for you all so far? Do let me know in the comments.

And don’t forget to mask up and sanitise!! 😷

Every one has a story to tell πŸ“’

Everyone has a story to tell,

Of the hardships they faced and the obstacles they overcame,

Of the times they triumphed and the times they failed.

Of the times they were misunderstood and took on the blame and the shame.


Everyone has a story to tell,

Experiences that have changed them in some ways.

Either pushed them in their cocoons or made them a rebel.

But who are you to judge, who are you to say?


Everyone has a story to tell,

Of the trials and tribulations that made them who they are,

Each have embarked on their own journeys of discovering what’s their heaven and hell.

They maybe different than you, but doesn’t give you the right to call them bizzare.


Everyone has a story to tell,

Of the person they once were and the one they are now,

Bid your age old notions and pre conceived judgements farewell,

Instead try to appreciate all they have endured and how.


If you really want to know,

Get to know their stories, get to know who they really are,

Don’t demean, don’t discriminate, don’t judge and stoop so low.

Be kind, be understanding, be their hero, be their superstar!!


We are often so quick to judge. Whenever we come across anyone a bit different than us, immediately, and probably subconsciously, we form an opinion about them. It could be hatred, dislike, or even pity. Frankly, none of that is acceptable. All we have to do is get to know them as people, listen to their stories, learn from their life lessons, get inspired by their journey and their resilience towards all challenges, learn to empathise and not sympathize and finally to wholeheartedly accept people as they are. We just have to train our mind to be less judgemental and to be more open, more thoughtful, more compassionate. It’s not that difficult. Do let me know your thoughts on this. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’–πŸ’–

New beginnings 🏠

So I have been MIA (missing in action) from here for a while. Although I have been trying to read up all your posts as much as possible, but really never managed to write up a post. Not coz I have run out of ideas. Infact my draft has a number of posts on various topics that I started but couldn’t finish writing. Simply coz I was occupied with a lot of other things. So today, I am determined to write up a post to let you guys know what’s cooking here.

Well a number of things have been happening simultaneously. Work is crazy (as always 😣🀬). I was staying with my parents for a few weeks, living the house to the ‘able’ care of my husband. Big mistake!!! It’s been a few weeks that I am back home and am still putting things back to where they belong. I mean, how difficult is it to make tea and then put the container back in its place??!! 😣😣 Anyways, I digress. This post isn’t a rant about the tidiness of my husband or rather the lack of it. I think I should write an entirely separate post about that πŸ˜›πŸ˜›

Coming back to the topic, so we have been house hunting for a while. Not buying, we still can’t afford it + it’s too much of a stress financially and mentally. But we were hoping to find a nice house to rent, that would be a little better than the current one. After many many visits with the broker and seeing many houses, I think we have finally found one that matches the picture we had in mind. Nicely done interiors, 2 balconies for my plant babies, a big kitchen, nice cozy rooms. We instantly fell in love with the house. But like every other thing in my life, nothing goes smoothly without a few hurdles and setbacks. So turns out, the owner is busy and somewhat of a pompous ass. His behaviour was a big turn off, but then he stays overseas and we will hardly have to interact much with him. And the house was too good to let go. So we sucked up and went ahead. And in a few days time we will be shifting. Hoping this new beginning will prove to be a good move for us. Fingers crossed. 🀞🀞🏠

Next up, we have been really busy arranging the packing and moving. That included selling some of our old, way overused and worn out furniture. Now if you haven’t had any experience selling used furnitures online, let me tell you, it’s a real pain in the ass. There are more scammers that real buyers and we too had our brush with a few of them. Thankfully, my friends and family warned me of this and insisted that we do all transactions in cash. Since we are shifting in a few days, I put up all the stuff for sale at dirt cheap prices. Most people who showed interest or bought them were actually shop owners who would take them, refurbish and sell the same stuff at much higher prices.

However, one evening a young boy came with his father to pick up the centre table. Upon asking, he mentioned that they too have a furniture shop but however, this particular table, they were gonna take it home. Over the past years, we have used this table for so many tea and chitchat sessions, shared innumerable laughs and made some good memories chilling with friends and family. And hearing this, I couldn’t help but think of the many cups of tea they too will share over this table and the many memories they would probably create and remember years later. It was going to be a new beginning for the little boy as well as my beloved centre table. I hope it finds itself in a house where there is warmth, love and many conversations. Au revoir old friend.πŸ₯°

For the past few days, I have been thinking of pursuing another passion of mine. Traveling. Yes, the last 2 years have been a bummer for most of us, putting all the major travel plans on the back burner. But if things don’t get worse, hopefully we will be able to step out and explore the world again. I have had the good fortune of traveling to some amazing places so far, and have heaps of pictures with me. So I have finally decided to start an Instagram page for all my travel photos. Been quite busy with that lately, regularly updating the page and getting it started. Interacting with fellow travel enthusiasts and seeing breathtaking pictures. Also, getting to see some really interesting photography techniques on several such pages. So yes, I am learning a lot and really liking the process of it. Looking forward to this new beginning.πŸ“ΈπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜Š

So this is my new Instagram handle: Gibberishsayshello

Do take a look and let me know what you think of it. Will look forward to your feedback, my lovely WP fam πŸ’πŸ’.

Some motivation for myself. Hope it inspires you as well. 😊😊

Set The Inner Child Free πŸ€©

As a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up,

To become my own master, act all grownup.

Adulting seemed like such a fantastic thing,

Now, it’s the childhood memories to which I cling.


I thought being an adult was so cool,

Now in hindsight, I can say I was but a fool.

I couldn’t wait to be done with books and studies,

Get a job and chill with my buddies.

But now I know, working long hours with a nagging boss ain’t no joke,

Irony is, no matter how much I earn, I am still broke.

And friends? The numbers gradually deplete,

Only a handful remember the birthdays and take out time to meet.

I yearned the freedom to take my own decisions,

To fulfil my ambition and chase after my passions.

Oh! The joy of earning my own money,

To find true love and call him honey!

But today, the many passions are left far behind,

Incessant meetings and work calls keep me confined.

Loving people left me hurt and broken,

Had so much to say, but all remains unspoken.


Now, looking back, I cannot help but feel,

Being an adult is nothing more than an ordeal.

I long for the carefree childhood days of unadulterated fun,

The endless laughter, bantering and responsibilities none.

I wish someone had told me the harsh realities of growing up back then,

If only I could go back in time again.


But alas that can’t be done,

So I’m thinking, why can’t the child and adult in me, both live as one?

When life gets tough, the inner child can be set free,

To worry less, laugh more, to remind myself it’s ok to just let things be.

Instead, why not smile at everyone, giggle without a reason, chase the butterfly,

Be funny, be silly, count the stars in the sky.

Let my inner child take over to walk away from the stress,

To find joy in the little things and seek happiness in a myriad ways!!

All pictures from Google

My Top 5 GO-TO Quotes πŸ’‘πŸ’•

Words have an impact on all of us…I guess that’s why so many of are here, writing, reading, learning. Because words leave an impression. They can make us happy, they can make us sad, they can make us nostalgic, and even enrage us at times. They can also inspire us, motivate us, or definitely make us think and reflect. These words can be lines from a poem, dialog from a movie, or even a quote said by famous personalities or one made famous by popular culture.

So in this post, I thought I will share some of my favourite quotes, which I carry with me in my heart and remind myself of, whenever needed. Here goes.

1. PEOPLE WILL NEVER TRULY UNDERSTAND SOMETHING UNTIL IT HAPPENS TO THEM.

I truly believe that for someone looking outside in, they can never really understand exactly what you’re going through. Especially, if they haven’t been in the same or atleast similar circumstances. At best, They can try to understand, they can sympathize, they can empathize. But no-one will really know the storm brewing in your mind, body or heart unless they have been in the exact same situation. And if you see it logically, it kinda makes sense too. How can anyone know a certain feeling or a certain pain when they haven’t experienced anything close to that themselves. So it will be wrong on my part to even expect that. So when I am going through some major shit and someone (with good intentions), says stuff like ‘I understand’, or ‘I feel you’, when I know they have no clue what it feels like, earlier my inner voice would be like ‘No dude, you don’t understand, you have no idea what it’s like, so don’t talk shit and Shut the F*** up 😑πŸ₯Š’. But remembering this quote restores the zen in me and makes me say ‘ThanksπŸ™πŸ˜Š’ instead. Saves some pretty nasty fights I’d say.

2. DON’T COMPARE YOUR LIFE TO OTHERS. THERE’S NO COMPARISON BETWEEN SUN AND THE MOON. THEY SHINE WHEN IT’S THEIR TIME.

Most of us have this terrible habit of comparing ourselves with others. Could be comparison of looks, health, wealth, good fortune et al. And end up feeling terrible seeing others doing so well while we are heading nowhere. I am guilty of this too. But when I came across this quote, it really made me realise that each of us have our own journeys, our own struggles and our own time to shine and thrive. It’s really not fair to compare myself to someone more successful (for example) when I have no idea how hard that person must have worked to get there. And that he/she must have struggled way more than me to achieve what they have got. So all I have to do is remind myself that now is their time to shine. If I have a goal and work towards it, tomorrow will be my time to shine.🌞🌞

3. LET IT HURT, LET IT BLEED, LET IT HEAL, LET IT GO.

We all get hurt, either by people or our circumstances. Holding onto those grudges only makes us bitter and cynical. It keeps us from being happy or content. So whenever anything or anyone Hurts me, I give myself some time to process it, maybe even cry it out and then to eventually try to let go of the emotional baggage coz it really serves me no purpose dragging it around and getting bogged down by the pressure of it. Of course it doesn’t come so easily always. But then we are all works in progress, aren’t we? So I keep telling myself this: Let Go and Break free. πŸ™‚

4. WE’RE ALL IN THE SAME GAME; JUST DIFFERENT LEVELS. DEALING WITH THE SAME HELL; JUST DIFFERENT DEVILS.

I just love this quote. We are all going through some difficulties or the other, maybe we don’t know it, we don’t realise it. But we are. Every one has their own devils to deal with. So no judgement, no comparison. Just keep going. Life is one big complicated mess and we are all riddled with some trouble or the other. Do your best, face your own challenges, try your hardest to overcome them and move ahead. So even in our bad times, we are not alone. Someone might be having it better right now, but some others are going through worse. Always remember that.

5. THIS TOO SHALL PASS

Saved my most favourite quote for the last. I derive a lot of strength from this one. Whenever I am low, I keep telling myself this, over and over again. Nothing is permanent. Bad times don’t last forever. They will give way to better days and happier times. Just be patient and sail through the storm. Have faith in your heart. Know that This too shall pass. πŸ’—πŸ’—



So these were my 5 favourite quotes that give me strength, courage and hope. I hope they resonate with you all. What are your favourite quotes? Please share in the comments. I’d love to read them and maybe add to my list of favourite quotes.

Stay strong. Be happy. Love to you all πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

Fleeting life….

Life is so truly unpredictable,

One moment you’re planning things,

Engulfed in life’s hustle and bustle,

The next, you’re flying upto heaven with angel wings.


It’s true, we come alone and go alone.

Yet we totally forget this stark truth,

And chase money, luxury and the throne,

When all we need is for the boat of life to sail smooth.

The wealth we earn isn’t ours to take,

We go empty handed when we leave,

All that matters are the good deeds we do, the friends we make,

And all the bonds, connections and relationships we weave.


What really counts is all the hearts we touched,

The wrongdoers we forgave, the ones we selflessly helped,

The people we loved, the ones with whom we laughed,

The challenges we overcame and the gamut of emotions we felt.


So remember this my friend,

‘A good life means acquiring riches’ is a complete fallacy,

Coz ultimately, at the very end,

The love we give and the memories we create and leave behind, is our true legacy. πŸ’–πŸ’–



This poem is in fond memory of my uncle who passed away a few days back. Losing him was definitely tragic, but more than that, it was completely unexpected and caught us all by surprise. And such events really compel one to take a step back and think hard. And realise how truly unpredictable life is. One moment you’re here and the next moment You’re gone. The huge turnout at his funeral was a testament to the man he was and the love people had for him. And it made me realise that a well lived life is truly all about love, kindness and empathy. What do you think? Do share your thoughts. Much love to all of you. πŸ’—πŸ’—

The View From the Top

There’s something about this view,

That always leaves me spellbound,

Every angle, every direction I look, there’s something new,

I wish I could explore more, if only I was not strapped and chair bound.

I keep trying to see things in these clouds,

Any shapes and figures my mind can conjure,

Seems ethereal, like a mystical mystery it shrouds,

That makes me look out in amazement and ponder.

The soft, fleecy clouds floating about,

To my inner child’s imagination, could be a million scoops of icecream,

Or sometimes, my devout heart can see God’s divine rays peeking out.

Other times, my logical mind can only marvel at the Creator’s scientific genius, while the poet in me can simply stare and dream.

Myriad thoughts, endless emotions,

Gives a chance for me and the infinity to converse.

Every time I am flying through the clouds, I feel like I am entranced with some magic potion,

Coz I am always left in awe of the magnificence and humbled by magnanimity of the universe.



I have been fortunate to fly many times in my life. Yet the view from the top never ceases to amaze me. β›…β˜οΈβ€οΈ The pristine white clouds floating by, maintaining perfect balance, stretching as far as my eyes can see till the horizon, always casts a spell on me. And unless it’s a very early morning flight (in which case I am probably sleeping even before takeoff πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚), I am always looking out, soaking in the beauty of the sky, lost in a plethora of thoughts and sometimes remembering to capture some pictures that can help in day dreaming when I am back to mundane life on land..what are your thoughts when you’re flying? What do you think about? Please tell me in the comments. You know it wouldn’t hurt to know there are a few crazies out there just like me πŸ˜ŠπŸ’Ÿ

M.I.S.T.A.K.E.S

They say mistakes make us humans,

Makes us realise no man, no plan is perfect,

It smashes the superiority, breaks all supremacist delusions.

Makes us start from scratch, inspect, introspect and to a new plan deflect.

They say we learn from our mistakes,

But what if mistakes become the norm,

Do we have what it takes,

To look within, learn the lesson and transform?

They say mistakes make a man stronger.

The lower he falls, the higher he can rise,

Repeatedly being knocked down builds determination to fight longer,

It makes him patient, but does it make him wise?

They say mistakes make a man perfect.

Each mistake becomes a life lesson, a stepping stone to do things right,

Gives the opportunity to reassess and plan a course correct,

To put up a good fight to avoid past blunders and remain morally upright.

They say how we correct our mistakes truly define who we are,

Our resilience and tenacity after every mistake shows our true character,

The greatest lessons don’t come from a saint or a preacher.

It is our mistakes, that is infact the best TEACHER.

Are you Drifting or are you Driven??

This is precisely the thought on my mind of late. Being stuck at home and waking up every day to do the same thing I did yesterday, I think I have been sucked into the monotony of life. And trust me, I ain’t complaining. I love monotony. It’s predictable, it’s boring and boring is comforting. I know only too well that It doesn’t take much for things to go awry. One phone call, one visit to the doctor, one mishap and life can turn upside down and chaos can set in. And I don’t function well in chaos. I don’t like chaos. God knows I have had more than enough of it in my lifetime.

For the past 2 years, I have led my life in a pretty routine manner. Wake up, office work, household chores, use whatever free time is left to attend to my little garden, binge watch, read, paint, walk or exercise on some days. And the same thing next day.

I take each day as it comes and truly try to live in the present and give my best in the present moment, without much (or any) thought or plans for the future. But is that really enough? I thought so, but seems like people around me disagree. It started with a discussion with the husband when he told me that it’s not enough. That I must try to broaden my horizons. That everyone needs to have a vision of where they see themselves in a few years and then work on a plan to get there. Smarty pants gave me a full blown lecture on the importance to plan for the road ahead. And I do know it comes from a place of concern and good intentions, but this is sort of a sensitive topic for me, so everytime we have such a discussion, I act out, get defensive and the discussion turns into a spat!! πŸ˜΅πŸ˜–

The thing is, I have had some bitter experience in the past related to dreaming big wonderful things. Whenever I have dreamt of doing something for myself, planned for something, wanted something so bad, life’s evil tricks have landed all such plans and aspirations flat on their face and shattered all the dreams. Like one time, I got into one of the best MBA colleges. My undergrads college experience was quite dull and boring so, I had gone there with the determination to make this count. I wanted this post-grad experience to be epic. To party hard, study hard and excel. And I did. For a few months. Until a blood clot landed up in my lungs and I ended up in the ICU!! I lost out on a year. I could have gone back. I could have finished. But I just ended up going back to work and never completed my post grads. And this is neither the worst thing to have happened nor the only time. Such things have happened again and again. Everytime I pick myself up, something new and worse knocks me right down.

So, I have made peace with the fact that planning and dreaming is probably not for me. I strive to live wholeheartedly in the present moment and make the most of it. After all, even the worst of obstacles can’t shatter a dream you haven’t dreamt or kill the hopes you haven’t built. Just going with the flow, each day at a time. Just drifting. You could say it’s my defence mechanism, my safety net. My make-believe-cocoon-of-happiness.

However the recent spat with the husband continued to bother me. Not because we fought and said things. We did reconcile the next day. But I kept wondering, is he right (can you imagine how hard it must be for a wife to admit thatπŸ˜›)? Does he have a valid point?πŸ€” Whenever, I have such existential crisis questions bothering me, I resort to some advice from my bestie. Whenever in crisis or self doubt, she’s my go to person. My free therapist!! She lives in another country, she’s awfully busy but she understands when I NEED to talk to her. And this time our chat was immensely uplifting and an eye opener of sorts for me. And this is what she had to say.

She asked me the same thing that is the title of my blog..‘ Do you want to drift or do you want to be driven?. If you drift along, go with the flow, with no certain plans, no direction, no aspirations, no expectations, then you will probably lead a comfortable but mediocre life. Wishes will remain unfulfilled, desires will remain dormant, achievements few and sense of accomplishment even less. Years later when you look back at your life, you will probably realize it wasn’t the best version of the life you hoped for, with many unfulfilled dreams, many items not checked from your bucket list. And then you might wish you had taken a different approach. That, despite circumstances, you had taken the reins of your life in your own hand. Been the one riding the car of your life rather than being in the passenger seat and see life just whisk past you. But then it will probably be too late and all you will have is just regret. Regret for not doing more, not doing better for yourself. Instead, now if you decide that you don’t want to just drift from one day to the next but instead be driven, by taking control of your life and deciding on a direction, a path and work towards it, then irrespective of how things turn out (and by that I mean Fate being a total b**ch and F-ing up things), you will atleast have the satisfaction that you tried. You tried to make a difference, you tried to make your life more fulfilled, more meaningful. Even if things don’t work out as you planned, You can accept things without regret. And that will also give you some much needed peace and satisfaction.

Needless to say, her words really left an indelible impression on me. And yes, it’s given me some courage to atleast think about things. What I want, who I want to be down the line. And after many many years, I am atleast giving it some thought. That itself is a big step in the right direction for me.

And this is the exact reason I am sharing this here. So that , if any of you reading this, find yourself in a similar predicament where you’re afraid to dream, to hope, to aspire, that reading this may give you some food for thought and propel you to think about not just drifting along, not just surviving from day to day, but actually driving your life in the direction that your heart desires. Would love to hear to hear your thoughts on this. Remember, we are all in this together. ❀️❀️

Is Ignorance truly Bliss??πŸ€”

Would you rather live in ignorance,

Or would you instead a take a chance,

To face your biggest fears,

That could totally break you and shatter your near and dears?

Would you wait and wait longer,

Or would you face reality and come out stronger?

Would you just ignore your imminent troubles?

Or rather come out of your pretend-to-be-happy bubble,

And face the reality that awaits,

Just ready to barge in and desecrate

Everything that you hold dear,

And make all the little joys disappear.

The truth is seldom pleasant,

But the fear is omnipresent.

So i wonder out loud, is it better to continue to live in denial,

Or to muster the courage and face whatever ‘reality monster’ awaits and fight for your survival?



Have you ever felt like this? Like you’re so scared of the outcome that you prefer to live in denial rather than face the music?…it could be a breakup or a visit to the doctor or a thesis submission or any other situation that needs to be addressed and dealt with, but there’s always the possibility that things won’t go your way and will have significant consequences that might adversely affect the course of your future. So, instead of just getting done with it, we just sit on it, too afraid of what the outcome might be. On the surface, everything is normal, everything is mundane, but underneath the veneer of normalcy, there lurks a hidden fear, that just eats you up little by little. Have you ever been in such a predicament? I know I have. And it’s not a happy state to be in. Would love to know your thoughts and how you handled it..Much love to all of you fighting such secret battles πŸ’ŸπŸ’Ÿ

Little things πŸ’πŸŒ§οΈβ˜˜οΈπŸ°πŸ–οΈπŸ’—

To know you’re alive by feeling the blood flow through the vein,

To dance in the rain,

To help irrespective of loss or gain,

To smile through the pain

Life is indeed about the little things.

Magical rains🌧️πŸ₯°

To have little, yet be happy to share,

To sing without a care,

To have sand at my feet and wind in my hair,

To breathe the cool, fresh, brisk air,

Life is indeed about the little things.

Soak up the vitamin-sea β€οΈπŸ–οΈ

To see a flower bloom,

To smell the fragrance of my favourite perfume,

To connect with friends via zoom,

To wear my mother’s earrings which is my favourite heirloom,

Life is indeed about the little things.

Appreciate, Enjoy, Smile

To gaze at the clear blue sky,

To enjoy guilt free all the fudge and pie,

To watch a sad film and cry,

To enjoy the banter and goofing around with my guy,

Life is indeed about the little things.

Happiness indeed..nom nomπŸ˜‹

To spend time gardening,

To feel at peace while moon gazing,

To know about the world through reading,

To pour my heart out through writing,

Life is indeed about the little things.

Be silly….with family 😁

To spending quality time with family,

To laugh wholeheartedly,

To always offer help readily,

To be content with little and live happily,

Life is indeed about the little things.

Overthinking doesn’t yield results,just a decoy,

To take away peace of mind and let the bigger worries of the unpredictable future burden and annoy,

Coz ultimately, it’s the little things that bring the greatest joy.

So, sit back, breathe easy, savour these little things and learn to enjoy. 😊πŸ₯°

La Magnifique Sunset πŸŒ‡πŸ’–

The other day, I stumbled upon the most beautiful sunset I have seen in a while.

One that caught me by surprise and made me break into a smile.

So many shades, like a painter’s canvas,

Or a writer’s cathartic poetic stanza.

Just stood there soaking in the beauty with a fixed gaze,

Nature’s magnanimity and magnificence never fails to amaze.

Left me with the profound realization,

Just like every sunset promises a new dawn,

In the same way, the bad times eventually gives way to the good ones.

Which ushers in promises of new hope, some laughter and even some dance.

So, no matter how awful was the day,

Keep some faith in Mother nature’s mysterious ways,

When you least expect, she will send the most beautiful surprise your way.

One that will momentarily make you forget your worries and take all your stress away. πŸ’—πŸ’—

No filters needed


Due to the relaxations in the lockdown restrictions imposed in my city, Last weekend stepped out to have lunch at a friend’s house..they have a beautiful south west facing balcony and the sunset view from there was just breathtaking…clicked endless pics…sharing a few with you all..do let me know if you like it. What are your thoughts or realisations on seeing such beautiful sunrises and sunsets? Do tell πŸ˜ŠπŸ’Ÿ

My Mini Garden Tales

The pandemic hit us all hard and left us stuck at home with the same mundane routine of office work, incessant zoom calls and endless household chores (man,they never get over)..but if social media is any proof, it’s also given most of us some spare time to reconnect… reconnect with ourselves, reconnect with our old friends and also to reconnect with our hobbies and passions…I see endless posts from my friends/acquaintances putting up pictures of their culinary skills or fitness routines, or artwork or poetries…just like them, even I have discovered a new found love …for gardening 🌱🌿

I have written about my gardening experience in some earlier posts (read My Quest for a new β€˜Talent’, Spring for my Soul πŸŒ»πŸŒΌπŸ¦‹πŸŒΊ, The first bloom 🌷🌷 ). But my garden has grown since then and I thought I must share the latest updates with all my WP friends who might share a similar interest.

First of all, it’s been many months of lockdown here owing to the ravaging second wave. The nearest nursery from where I bought the plants has been closed forever. So it’s been about 5-6 months that I couldn’t buy any new plants. So to keep up the garden, I knew I had to take extra care of the pant babies already there and make sure that they continue to thrive. And to my utter joy, they did. Most of them anyway. 😊😍

Pink coloured Dianthus
Dual shaded Dianthus
Jasmine blossom
Do you know what’s this beauty called?
Polka dot plant
Hibiscus
Money plant /Pothos

However, despite my best efforts I failed to save 2 of my plant babies…I tried to water more, water less, repot, everything a novice like me knew or could think of. But they just gradually withered and slipped away. ☹️☹️

My little garden misses you babies 😘

But, Mother nature works in mysterious ways. While I couldn’t save 2 of the plants despite trying so hard, a few stems just sprang up out of nowhere and blossomed to full sized healthy plants… with zero effort from my side!! Talk about Circle of life. Funny thing, till now I am not even sure what these are called. If you guys have a clue, do let me know in the comments section. But they are beautiful and thriving. So name or not, I Ain’t complaining. πŸ’ŸπŸŒΏπŸ˜€

Surprise surprise 🀩πŸ₯°

A few weeks back I went down to get some groceries and on my way back I noticed some beautiful potted plants near the security guards’ room. I came to know that the owners were not living here currently so they were left to his care. So took his permission and cut out a few stems and used them to fill my empty pots. And with some nurturing and care, they have been doing pretty well so far. Welcome home babies πŸ’ŸπŸ’Ÿ

Rhoeo plant…they are so colourful 🀩
Aloe vera

Next up, I turned my attention to the kitchen. I did some research to see what veggies or greens can be grown easily and how to get started on them. For now, I used some pumpkin, papaya, lemon, chilly and coriander seeds and slowly they are coming out. Yet to get any fruits but it’s a joy seeing them come to life from a few dried seeds. I never realized how fun it is to see new stems popping out of the soil to form full grown plants. Here they are πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

My very own Chillies plant. Someday soon am hoping I can see chillies here 🌢️🌢️
Coriander
Pumpkin leaves
That’s lemon tree in the making…just sprouted a few days ago πŸ‹πŸ‹
I got greedy and planted quite a few pumpkin seeds and man, they grow fast
Papaya leaves

And like before (read Rebirth…), I planted some dried up leftover flowers into the soil and I can see new plants. Whether they bear flowers or not, we will have to wait and see.

From dried up flowers to new plants πŸ™‚

Well it’s been less than a year since I started working on my mini balcony garden. And I am still learning. Must say, being a plant parent is a lot of work. You gotta ensure you’re watering them right, make sure unwanted insects don’t eat up the leaves, get rid of them if need be, ensure they get adequate sunlight. But it’s also been a very enriching and fulfilling experience. It keeps me busy. It keeps me happy. And most importantly, it keeps me hopeful. Every time, a flower blossoms or a tiny little stem sprouts up from the soil, it’s just pure, unadulterated joy. And for that I thank my beautiful plant babies πŸ₯°πŸ˜.

Can you?

Things I can’t say out loud.. Can you?

Can you miss what you don’t have?

Can you drown in water if your head is still above?

Can you mourn what you haven’t lost?

Can you walk away from what you value the most?

Can you imagine what can never be?

Can you touch what you can’t see?

Can you hear the laughter and chuckle that isn’t there?

Can you feel the presence of the non existent everywhere?

Can you smell the fragrance that will not pervade your life?

Can you deal with the ever growing internal strife?

Can you envision the life ahead that will never be your reality?

Can you ever really accept your life and all its inherent abnormality?

Can you?



A Birthday, a R.E.U.N.I.O.N and an Anniversary

So 3 things happened in the past few days, which I would consider to be fairly significant milestones in my life.

First I celebrated my 30-something birthday on the 26th of May, which was by the way, my 2ND Lockdown birthday…and probably as a birthday gift from the universe, the F.R.I.E.N.D.S R.E.U.N.I.O.N aired the very next day πŸ₯³πŸ₯³. And today, I completed a full year of starting this blog.πŸ“βœοΈ

Lockdown birthdays be like

Ok so first about the birthday..like I mentioned, this was my second lockdown birthday. Last year too we were under total lockdown. Even getting a cake was difficult. There was no going out, no dressing up, no meeting with friends, no party shenanigans. Fortunately my parents were with me, so they made up for it with their love and pampering, including a scrumptious lunch prepared by my mother including all things my favourite. πŸ₯°πŸ˜‹

Last year, I bought a nice dress, thinking of wearing it when we step out once this pandemic is behind us. Stupid me. Am sure the pandemic devil was silently chuckling. And yes, like you would imagine that dress is still waiting to be worn. There was a time (even until last year) when I was hooked on to online shopping, I just couldn’t get enough things to buy. But now, even buying a simple top or a new pair of jeans seems like a long term investment. Who knows when I can actually wear them πŸ™„πŸ€·. Seems like pyajamas are here to stay and slay. ☹️

This year’s birthday was just like any other day this year. Only difference, I took leave from work, which is about as exciting and happening as it can be when you’re under total lockdown. Parents not here with me this time, so cooked up my favourite things, ate lots of cake (thanks to husband for pre-ordering from my favourite patisserie), spoke to Friends and family and spent a considerable amount of time being lazy and doing nothing productive. Come to think of it, maybe it wasn’t the best birthday I’ve had, but a day spent lazying around and doing absolutely nothing, is actually a day well spent indeed πŸ˜πŸ’€.

Infact, probably first time ever, I couldn’t wait for my birthday to get over coz the very next day it was time for the FRIENDS REUNION. Now if you have read my earlier posts, you would know that am a huge, huge fan. I dedicated an entire post to the series (read My ode to F.R.I.E.N.D.S) and I keep referring to them in every other post. For me the series is like comfort food, each episode like a spoonful of chocolate icecream. Familiar and comforting. Just what I need to get through the hiccups of the day. So imagine my excitement when I say that I was gonna see my favourite 6 people together again. At the same place and at the same time. After 17 years!! Could I BE any happierπŸ˜„πŸ˜„

❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️

When I heard of the team working on something, I was hoping they would take the story forward and we would see how their lives have shaped up after all these years. Did Joey ever fall in love and get married? Does Monica still laugh at chandler’s jokes? Are Ross and Rachel still together or are they again on a break? How many cats does Mike and Phoebe have at home? Is Janice still trying to woo chandler? Wouldn’t it be nice to know how these characters are doing after all these years. But I guess they thought it best to leave this to our imagination. And a reunion is what they planned for us fans.

And such a joy it was to see them all together again. I had goosebumps as I saw each of them walk into the same sets where they acted in all the 10 seasons. Watching them go down memory lane, reliving their character’s iconic moments, talk about their journey. It was just heart warming. And to know that Jen and David (Ross and Rachel) did actually have feelings for each other much like their onscreen characters….who knows maybe they could have been lobsters in real life too. Ok. I need to stop fantasizing. It was just a joy to see all of them come together and talk about and celebrate the greatest show ever (for me atleast). πŸ’—πŸ’—

My eyes my eyes πŸ’–πŸ’–

And lastly, today I completed 1 year of blogging. I opened this account to just vent and ramble on about things that bothered me, about things I wanted to discuss. I chose to go anonymous so that I could say things here that I refrain from sharing on other fancy social media platforms (read The half hearted smileβ€¦πŸ™‚πŸ™‚. ). I never thought anyone would read them,let alone like them. But, this past year has been so amazing. I have connected with some wonderful people here, who actually read and leave a comment on all my posts. I have had the opportunity to read so much here…. beautiful poetries, fictions, life experiences. It has been truly a fantastic experience and for that, I thank you all. I hope we can continue to inspire and motivate each other in the coming days. My love and gratitude to you all for the support and encouragement. πŸ’–πŸ€—

Would you like a DO-OVER?πŸ€”πŸ’­

Umm….I think I need both πŸ˜‚

Last night I was watching the new Netflix film ‘The woman in the window’, and while the movie was not that great (Amy Adams totally brilliant though), there was one scene that kind of stayed on with me….ok don’t wanna give out too much details in case you haven’t watched it and want to, but there is this one scene, where she records her thoughts on video..and she keeps saying that she wants to go back in time and do over things.

Got me thinking, don’t we all wish that we could go back in time and UNDO a few things…a few mistakes, a few bad decisions, few twists of fate. Wouldn’t it actually be wonderful to revisit these key moments in life and have a chance to RE-DO the same, but this time differently and see how that pans out.

As I started thinking about it, my mind was already making a list, and I sort of indulged it to live vicariously through this list. So these are the top things that made it to my make believe DO OVER list (in no particular order):

* I wish I could redo my childhood and had forced my parents for a sibling, so that they would have someone else to worry about and someone else to worry for them. πŸ˜…

* I wish I could undo the many months of pining over my first heartbreak…now in retrospect, it seems like such an epic waste of precious time crying over a guy and a relationship that really didn’t deserve so much fanfare from me…I could have used that time constructively to do so much more…like working on myself, learning new technology to enhance my career or maybe even casually dating some hot guys 😜

* I wish I could undo the terrible decision of leaving my first job. Had I stayed on even for a few months, I would have been settled abroad like the rest of my teammates. Talk about bad timing. πŸ™„

* I wish I got a chance to undo the twists of fate that ended up setting me off to a hospital so many times.

* I wish my body was not this unruly little pest doing whatever the hell it feels like, and that it behaved and stayed in its permissible limits and not cause so much drama. 😏

* I wish (and this I wish on behalf of everyone) that I could undo this scary pandemic that has taken over our lives and brought life to a standstill. Wish I could send it back to wherever the hell it came from and that we could have our old lives back. When I could go out, meet friends, travel, chill rather than staying at home, scared and paranoid. 😣

I know some of the above mentioned do-overs aren’t really in my control like the health issues, pandemic etc, but then so is the list…I can’t actually undo any of them. So why not list out the unpleasant events in my life and indulge in some wishful overthinking and fantasizing about the what ifs. πŸ’­πŸ’­

Now one might say that everything that happens in our lives, good or bad, makes us the person we are right now. True. But then, who’s to say this current version of me is the best version possible? Honestly, I think I would be much better off without some of these things happening. I could be happier, I could be more content, more successful, my life could be more fulfilling.

The only consolation- Maybe things are not as great as they could have been, but then, they could have been much much worse. And for that, I am grateful. πŸ™‚

All images from Google

What are some of the items in your DO-OVER List? Do mention it in the comments. Would love to read them all πŸ’•πŸ’•

Tough times

The world thought it had tamed the monster,

That they had succeeded in preventing another disaster.

Alas, Couldn’t have been more wrong,

The queue of body bags keeps getting long.

The times we face now are indeed grim and rough,

And as days go by, the going gets tough.

People all around are suffering,

Healthcare system is collapsing.

The cities are exhausted and breathless,

Everywhere you look, the governance is a shameful mess.

There’s panic and fear everywhere,

Without sufficient medicines, the less fortunate resorts to prayer.

The wise ones stay at home,

While the covidiots continue to roam.

Everyday is a new record.

But we are nowhere near the peak, mark my word.

When will we start to heal and mend?

Oh God, when will this nightmare end?

Dear all, Now is NOT the time to give up and despair,

Time to show our inherent human resilience extraordinaire.

We have to put up a brave fight to see this through,

Remember we are all in this together- me and you.

Together we will fight the monster, till we bid it adieu,

Coz tough times don’t last, but tough people do.


β€œEverybody goes through difficult times, but it is those who push through those difficult times who will eventually become successful in life. Don’t give up, because this too shall pass.”

― Jeanette Coron

Is there a secret formula to a happy marriage?? πŸ€”πŸ€”

The other day the husband got a Call from his bud…asking to meet for drinks and that he needed ‘to talk’. Upon his return (and some nudging), I came to know that their marriage has hit a rough patch and catching up for drinks was just an excuse to find a friendly ear to vent out the pent up frustrations and discuss the hell that his married life has turned into.

And this is not the first friend with marital woes… recently reconnected with one of my college buddies and he too complained of trouble in paradise…surprised me because he is one of the nicest, coolest person I know. Plus, he is married for less than a year….and here I was, assuming he is too busy enjoying his honeymoon period to bother about old friends…

Trouble in paradise

Tales of such marital discord definitely stays on longer in a woman’s mind than a man’s. I say this with some certainty seeing the nonchalance on my husband’s part and quite the opposite on mine πŸ˜›.

When you hear so much about trouble in other people’s married lives, you are bound to take a good, hard look at your own…wonder if all is indeed well…if you are really, truly happy or it’s a just a superficial facade while it’s rotting underneath?….is the pandemic to be blamed for this? Are people unraveling under the pressures of being stuck at home with each other 24/7 and that is causing all the pent up issues to come to the surface? I mean, before covid walked in, we all had busy lives, going to work, commuting, socializing with friends, colleagues..and barely had enough time to spend with our spouses….now we spend every waking moment seeing them around..

Now, neither am I any expert nor my marriage is perfect, but my husband and I have been together for almost 9 years now…dated for 5 and married for 4..and in these 9 years we have gone through stuff that most people face in their entire lifetime..sickness, loss, grief, financial struggles, and of course a pandemic (who can forget that)….the ride has often been extremely difficult, tempestuous and at times turbulent…more so for the circumstances than anything else. Like 2 people stranded on a little boat caught in a storm in the middle of the sea (remember Life of Pi people?), braving the weather and the adversities that come with it…in short, we have been sailing our way through some serious shit. Anyways, that’s a tale for another day and another post.

That’s definitely US riding that one πŸ™„πŸ™

My point is, I always thought, that marriage or any romantic relationship for that matter, stands on 3 pillars , much like a tripod stand on its 3 legs, namely
LOVE, LUST and FRIENDSHIP.
Of course, that’s oversimplifying a very complex dynamics but this was just how I categorised it as per my understanding when I was young, naive and perhaps stupid.

But, over the years, I have realized that perhaps this formula isn’t foolproof. Lets be honest, lust decreases after a point. After years together with the same person, the passion and intensity dwindles, some amount of monotony sets in (if that’s not the case with you…damn you make me jealous😜😜).
For love, I’d say it kinda plateaus out, meaning it reaches the peak and then flattens out, which is a good thing as it means it’s consistent (OK, have to admit this idea is borrowed. The husband said it one day and it just stuck with me🀫🀫). You don’t get butterflies in your stomach every time he walks in, or you don’t blush at every compliment and compliments themselves are few and far between πŸ™„πŸ€¨. But it’s the third leg that actually keeps the ball rolling – friendship.

Think about it, it is friendship that makes us comfortable with each other. If you’re better friends, chances are you’ll talk more, share more, communicate more, maybe even fight more and get things out of your system. You will enjoy each others’ company more and understand where each one stands on certain matters. And it will definitely make these stuck-at-home-pandemic-days more bearable. Of course there are many other factors such as trust, respect, loyalty etc at play. But broadly speaking, sustaining a happy , healthy relationship definitely lies in becoming better friends. That is assuming the other 2 factors remain constant. Coz a friendly-but-cheating partner does no good to this formula πŸ™„πŸ˜•πŸ˜ŽπŸ€¬πŸ˜‘

That’s just my opinion of things as I see it right now…do let me know if you agree or disagree. Peace 😊✌️