Scream and cry as much, there’s no way of breaking out.
Engulfed in darkness,
Plummeting to an abyss of despair,
Feelings going numb, upto the point of inertness,
Paranoia permeating every cell in your body, leaving you gasping for air.
The happy memories of the past are now distant and a blur,
The chances of them returning in the future seems bleak,
The voice in your head says ‘Keep going’ but they slur,
Your body paralyzed with fear, too numb, too weak.
What do you do in such a situation?
How do you get out of this mess?
Will you ever get to see the rays of sunshine outside this dungeon?
Or will this be your permanent home now, this dungeon of darkness??
Have you guys ever felt like this at some point in time or the other? What do you do? How do you push yourself to get out of this dark space and motivate yourself to be positive and never let go of the optimism? Do share in the comments. Am sure it will be helpful to many, including ME….hope you all are doing well…stay healthy and be happy friends💟💟
Well to be honest, i had been working on another post, but the events that have unfolded in the past few weeks compelled me to write this one. After all, who doesn’t like a dark, twisted tale of fate. So here goes.
About 2 weeks back, my husband was browsing a site to check out the list of upcoming music concerts in our city. To our surprise, one of our favourite Dj (an internationally renowned one with many many hits to his credit) was slated to perform on the 15th April in our city. As soon as we saw this, our excitement was palpable and we booked tickets then and there, as it was something on both our bucket lists (yeah, we are those who take the bucket list pretty seriously and strive to check off items and then maybe add some more). It was gonna be epic and we were excited and ecstatic about it.
Coincidentally, the day of the concert was also our new year..while most would spend the day in ethnic wear, preparing and eating traditional delicacies, we were gonna spend the day drinking beer, jumping and head banging!! So on the D- day, we headed off to the venue, super excited. The venue was all set for the rock concert. It was an open air concert, and when we reached, the weather was cloudy, breezy and all seemed just perfect. Until..
It started raining!! Yepp, a few hours into the show when some of the other DJs were playing, it started drizzling. Like i mentioned, it was an open air venue, with absolutely no shades to hide under. And who on earth ever carries an umbrella or raincoat to a rock show. Adrenaline was high. So were our spirits (quite literally if you know what I mean 😜🍻🍻). So like the 20,000 others present, we too got drenched in the rain, enjoying the thrill and fun of it all. Thankfully the rain stopped after a while, but not before we were drenched considerably. But the show continued. And so did our enthusiasm. The show went well. We enjoyed immensely. But trouble started when we were searching for a ride back home. No cabs. For a whole 2 hours!! It was way past midnight when we somehow managed to get a cab at an exorbitant rate and ride back home. The show was great. We had fun. Our day went very well. Or so I thought. 😑😑
But the very next morning, I felt feverish. Over the course of the next few days, i got high fever and was coughing incessantly. Things started going downhill. By the 4th day, I knew this was not a seasonal fever and a visit to the hospital was calling. I listened to my body and my mother’s frantic calls about taking it seriously and get medical attention. And so we went straight to the ER. Once there, they immediately observed my oxygen levels were dipping and I was put on oxygen support. Had to be admitted and spent the next few days on oxygen support with a gazillion tests being done. When the reports came back, the doctors were in for a shock. So were we. I had got a severe chest infection. ‘you got pneumonia’ they said.
If you remember, i had mentioned in my earlier post (read 2022 seems to be a mixed bag so far…) i was down with Covid in February. I had mild symptoms and recovered without any major issues then. But turns out, my tryst with covid then had weakened my already f**ked up immune system and now this ‘whole getting drenched in the rain + staying drenched for several hours+ cold breeze at late night’ combination culminated into this horrible mess and I ended up in my 2nd home..the hospital. 😫😵
As i lay in the hospital bed, breathing in the oxygen-for-hire, watching the tensed faces of my parents, the bewildered look on my husband’s face and the exhausted look on my doctor’s face (he has been dealing with my medical antiques for years now), i couldn’t help but wonder at the absurdity of it all. Out of the 20,000 people at the concert, all were drenched, most faced the same predicament with the unavailability of cabs while returning, did anyone else face such a situation wherein they ended up in the hospital with a near fatal infection?? Of course, i don’t know the answer to that. But something tells me, i am probably the only (un)lucky one to be in this situation!! And to think that I was dreading a hangover the next day. How stupid am I?? 🙄🙄
Well, by god’s immense grace and my mother’s incessant prayers, i am now out of the hospital, recuperating at home. Taking medicines, doing my breathing exercises. Hoping my lungs recover soon from this nasty infection and once again attain their former glory of being perpetually high (on oxygen)!! Might take a while but hope to get there soon enough.
So what has this bizarre turn of events taught me?
A) If there is a slightest chance of the weirdest shit happening, and i am in the vicinity, then it will definitely happen (coz, just my luck)
B) I am extraordinary, so are my health issues. So take no chances, and head to the ER at the earliest.
C) Always carry an umbrella to an open air event!! Or anywhere for that matter.
D) No matter what, keep the humour alive, even if that means laughing at your own misfortunes.
So That’s what was keeping me busy the past few weeks. Hope you guys had it better. Much love to ya’ll 💕💕
The other day, I came across a short video on YouTube about empathy. It basically said that those who have suffered in life, experienced loss, pain, grief etc undergo changes in their feelings and attitude towards others, all of which makes them more compassionate, more understanding, better listeners and in turn better friends, especially towards people who have had their share of ups and downs, challenges and ordeals. Basically, empaths turn out to be a godsent friend to someone whose lives have been less than rosy and far from perfect.
Among the hundreds of meaningless reels, vidoes we see everyday and swipe on to the next, there are very few that actually make an impact and stay on with you. This one did. And it made me reflect on the most important relationships I have (not too many unfortunately). Whether these people are empathetic or sympathetic and how has that changed our equation over the course of time.
Let me go back about a decade back, when I started my first job (damn, that makes me feel so old), I met this guy, a year junior to me. He was like an answer to all my dreams. Not romantic dreams!! But dreams to have a sibling. One with whom I can share all my joys and sorrows. Let’s call him Lil bro. We bonded instantly and were inseparable during those 3 years we spent working in the same team. We used to share everything about our personal lives, the mess that was our love lives back then, the heartbreaks we had endured and bitching about the idiots we dated then and before. We had formed a bond of a lifetime. He became the brother I never had and always wanted. He had a roommate who was also like a brother to me and we too bonded well.
Over the course of the next few years, Lil bro settled abroad, earned in dollars, married the girl who fulfilled all the criteria in his checklist (good looks, good looks and good looks), lived the American dream life. His flight of life had taken off and soaring high, while mine was on the runway briefly, but ultimately grounded for repair work and maintenance. (whoa, gotta admit, that was a good metaphor, wasn’t it?😆). Either ways, we got busy with our lives and eventually the frequency of calls and meet ups reduced.
Meanwhile, his roommate settled for a less lucrative job in his hometown. His father fell sick around the same time as I did. He came to meet me in the hospital several times. We kept in touch. I used to keep asking about his father’s health and he followed up on mine. His father passed away 2 years later. He was devastated. I used to message him daily to check up on him. He always asked me how I was feeling, how i was dealing with my changed circumstances. Whenever I go back home, we make it a point to meet, and whine, bitch, crib and also laugh at our miserable lives over delicious food and wine. Our trysts with sickness, ill health and the long drawn repurcussions of it made us both empathetic towards each other. We bonded over discussions based on hard, painful, uncomfortable topics.
As of today, I am in touch with both of them. But conversations with Lil bro (few and far apart) are usually about the good old days, all the fun parts. Nothing unpleasant. Nothing awkward, nothing heartfelt. Coz I somewhere feel that he won’t get it. By god’s grace, he hasn’t experienced anything so painful or suffered through any real tragedies. And while I am extremely happy for him, I do find it hard to relate to him these days. Whereas, i have grown much closer to his roommate. He has truly become a younger brother, a confidant, a supporter and a friend to whom I can rant about the unfairness of life as well as laugh over the silly things. Our brush with suffering, grief, pain, sickness and loss has helped us bond and cemented a friendship based on the unpleasantness of life. 💖💖
My cousin sister and I are of the same age and ever since we were little, we were inseparable. We were soul sisters even before we had heard or the word or knew what it meant. If she had a secret, i was the first to know. And vice versa. And it continued to be so till about college. Then work, marriage took us to different cities. Our lives took us on different paths. She got busy with work, husband, kid. I got busy with my shitshow of a life. We did keep in touch. But when I really needed a friend, a sister, she never reached out. Probably, her lack of similar experience or suffering, made it difficult for her to become an empath and reach out and offer support. As of today, we do talk on and off, but safe to say, that if she has a secret now, i am not going to be the first to know. Infact, i probably won’t know it at all. And same for me. 🤷
This is about yours truly. The past few years have been very challenging for me. Sickness, grief, loss, fear, anxiety have never left my side. I was always emotional and sensitive. But my life experiences have now made me over emotional and over sensitive. So the other day, my husband’s friend and his wife came over for dinner. I have met her 3-4 times in total. She’s cool and I like her. That night our general chitchat veered off to unchartered territory and she ended up sharing a lot about all the troubles in her married life. I guess my own life experiences have made me an empath as well, as I just sat there, listening to her, letting her vent, letting her ramble on. And Seeing her cry and narrate her ordeals just broke my heart. I advised her based on what I thought was right. And I do genuinely hope she can sort things out. 💔💔
Well these are just 3 instances i could think of, where the presence of empathy or the lack of it changed some of the relationships in my life. Where empathy created new bonds, formed new unexpected friendships, the lack of it depleted the closeness and the emotional attachment in existing relations. So yes, based on my personal experiences, i do think that empathy makes you a better friend. It makes you more sensitive to other people’s pain, their suffering. Because, you too have experienced the grief, suffering at some point, maybe of a different kind, maybe of a different intensity. But you do know what it feels like, when you’re down and out. Whether it’s failure or sickness or loss or just silent suffering, once you have experienced it, it’s easier for you to understand what the other person might be feeling. It makes you feel empathy and that empathy often makes you reach out and offer a shoulder to cry on or atleast lend an ear to listen to them rant, ramble, vent and sometimes, this act of reaching out and showing care and concern paves the way for a forever kind of friendship. 💖💖
What are your thoughts on this? Do you think empaths make better friends? Do let me know in the comments. Will look forward to reading them. Happy weekend friends 😊😊
It seems like only an instant back, we were welcoming the new year, hoping that year 2022 will do away with all our worries and compensate all the loss and hopelessness with abundant happiness and of course prosperity. And now 2 months have already gone by…
How has the year been for you all so far?? All good? All bad? For me, I think it’s been a rollercoaster ride with a mixed bag of events and emotions. I have experienced tranquility and turmoil. A sense of Zen and chaos.
Like i mentioned in my previous post New beginnings 🏠, we shifted to our new home. The last weeks of December and first weeks of January were spent settling in. Trying to make this new place a home of our liking. We threw a small house warming party for some friends and family. 2022 seemed to start off on a rather nice note. Until..
I got a call from my parents saying they were both having fever and cold. These days, these 2 words together immediately sets off the panic button. Asked them to get tested and yupp, sure enough..they both tested covid positive. Living so far away, I felt pretty helpless and all i could do was keep calling to check up on them and occasionally ordering food online for them to get a break from the monotony of quarantining at home. Thankfully, they are vaccinated and were/are gradually recovering. And within a week of them testing positive, my husband and I also fell sick and tested positive. And we never even stepped out of home. All we did was go down to pick up online delivered groceries and the occasional evening walks. And that was enough to catch the damned virus!! 😵😫
Now I had heard that the new variant is not that powerful and all. I have been severely sick in the past due to various other ailments, but let me tell you, that no other time have I experienced such body pain and fatigue. Even when I was hungry, I couldn’t bring myself to get up and eat, let alone cook or work. Nobody could come and help us, as we were in isolation. Our parents were worried sick (literally in this case 😛). Even though the fever and body pain subsided in a few days, we were left feeling tired and exhausted beyond measure. I was off work for 3 weeks!! That’s the longest leave I have had in 4 years!! Thankfully we both took care of each other and are slowly and hopefully coming out of it.
So to all those who are feeling that the pandemic is over, I’d request you to be cautious. It’s still very much out there and ready to bite your ass. And it’s NOT a pleasant experience at all.
These days of home quarantine can be lonely and isolating, making one feel bored, restless,or even melancholic. But there were 2 things that kept me going…While the doctor prescribed meds took care of my body and helped it fight the virus, there were 2 things in my life that gave me mental peace, restored the zen in me and filled my life with the much needed dose of hope and positivity. First is of course my Plant babies. Infact after moving in, I have added some more to my mini garden. Even when I was down and out with fever and body pain due to the virus, I dragged myself to water the plants atleast on alternate days. Having my morning tea in my garden, seeing the flowers bloom, the morning breeze rustling the green leaves, and seeing them soak up the sunlight and thrive, made me feel so much better. They literally acted as a balm to my throbbing head and aching body. Plants truly add color and hope in our lives. They have been one of my favourite companions throughout the pandemic for the past 2 years. 🌿🌱💓
I started this as a hobby but in these last 2 years, I have developed a true love for gardening. Here are some pics of my new plant babies🥰🥰. Hope you like them….
Also, we have an addition to our family…we got some fish babies for our aquarium 🐠🐟…the aquarium was inbuilt in the new house…an empty aquarium looks bad we thought, so just for the purpose of aesthetics and decoration, we got 10 small ones…and we instantly fell in love with them. We gave them names and fed them and I have spent many hours watching their every movement and even talking to them (Crazy much?? 😝😝)!! Sadly, 2 died within the first 2 days…even though they were with us for only a day or so, losing them felt devastating..my husband refused to just throw them in the trash and felt we should bury them, as it seemed like a more humane thing to do…so I buried them in one of the plant pots…those of you who have had similar experiences, what do you guys do in such a case?? Just curious, I don’t want to bury any more of them 😔
Thankfully the others are doing fine and just seeing them play around, fight, snooze or swim around have made my quarantine days somewhat exciting and eventful. Here’s a peak:
So that’s how the first 2 months of 2022 have been…one on end there was sickness (covid), death (fish), loneliness and despair (isolation) and on the other there were changes (moving in), additions (plants,fish), growth (blossom and bloom). So it’s really been a mixed bag of emotions and experiences for me, hope the rest of the year is mundane without any unpleasant surprises up its sleeves…how has 2022 been for you all so far? Do let me know in the comments.
Of the hardships they faced and the obstacles they overcame,
Of the times they triumphed and the times they failed.
Of the times they were misunderstood and took on the blame and the shame.
Everyone has a story to tell,
Experiences that have changed them in some ways.
Either pushed them in their cocoons or made them a rebel.
But who are you to judge, who are you to say?
Everyone has a story to tell,
Of the trials and tribulations that made them who they are,
Each have embarked on their own journeys of discovering what’s their heaven and hell.
They maybe different than you, but doesn’t give you the right to call them bizzare.
Everyone has a story to tell,
Of the person they once were and the one they are now,
Bid your age old notions and pre conceived judgements farewell,
Instead try to appreciate all they have endured and how.
If you really want to know,
Get to know their stories, get to know who they really are,
Don’t demean, don’t discriminate, don’t judge and stoop so low.
Be kind, be understanding, be their hero, be their superstar!!
We are often so quick to judge. Whenever we come across anyone a bit different than us, immediately, and probably subconsciously, we form an opinion about them. It could be hatred, dislike, or even pity. Frankly, none of that is acceptable. All we have to do is get to know them as people, listen to their stories, learn from their life lessons, get inspired by their journey and their resilience towards all challenges, learn to empathise and not sympathize and finally to wholeheartedly accept people as they are. We just have to train our mind to be less judgemental and to be more open, more thoughtful, more compassionate. It’s not that difficult. Do let me know your thoughts on this. 😊💖💖
“Life is about growing, learning, and becoming. You can not grow, learn, or become if you can not embrace the changes in your life.” — Steve Rizzo
I couldn’t agree more with the above quote. Every day, every moment, we are growing. Physically yes, our nails, hair keeps growing, but we are growing mentally as well. Each day we are learning new things, facing new challenges, getting enriched by new experiences.
But most of the times we are more inclined to learn about things external to us and often overlook to learn things internal to us…things which are intrinsic, intangible. Things we don’t even realise about ourselves until push comes to shove. And suddenly we end up knowing something about ourselves that we had no idea of until now. Has that ever happened to you??
I had a similar situation today. Like I mentioned in my last post (read New beginnings 🏠), I have started an Insta page to share some of my most favourite pictures of travel, food, anything that touched my heart and that I feel like sharing with the world. While browsing my photo gallery, I had a sudden realisation..I have hundreds of photos of sunsets clicked in various places capturing the beautiful sunset hues in all its glory. Some clicked from my own balcony, some from a friend’s rooftop, some from the road, the beach, the hills, the mountain tops, while flying, while driving, while lazing on the beach. Based on the number of pics I have of them (which I was oblivious of, up until now), I can safely say, I don’t just like sunsets…I am Sunset obsessed!! 🌅💕
Dont know why it took me so long to realise this, considering that I even wrote a poem about it sometime back (read La Magnifique Sunset 🌇💖).
I wonder what this sunset obsession reflects about me. Does it say something about the romantic in me, or the pessimist or the faint traces of the optimist I have been trying to make myself lately? Or, it simply shuts out the rest of the world for those brief moments, soothes the senses, comforts the over worrying heart, pleases my color loving soul and restores the zen in me? Looking out for some perspective from fellow sunset lovers. What do you guys think??🤔🤔
Anyways, I wanted to share some of these beautiful sunsets with you all. Hope y’all enjoy them as much as I do.
I hope you enjoyed them. Do tell in the comments which ones you liked the most (or not). Will look forward to your comments.🥰🥰
You can check out my insta page here for more pics. Enjoy the last week of 2021 my lovely WP friends. Much love to you all. 💕💕
So I have been MIA (missing in action) from here for a while. Although I have been trying to read up all your posts as much as possible, but really never managed to write up a post. Not coz I have run out of ideas. Infact my draft has a number of posts on various topics that I started but couldn’t finish writing. Simply coz I was occupied with a lot of other things. So today, I am determined to write up a post to let you guys know what’s cooking here.
Well a number of things have been happening simultaneously. Work is crazy (as always 😣🤬). I was staying with my parents for a few weeks, living the house to the ‘able’ care of my husband. Big mistake!!! It’s been a few weeks that I am back home and am still putting things back to where they belong. I mean, how difficult is it to make tea and then put the container back in its place??!! 😣😣 Anyways, I digress. This post isn’t a rant about the tidiness of my husband or rather the lack of it. I think I should write an entirely separate post about that 😛😛
Coming back to the topic, so we have been house hunting for a while. Not buying, we still can’t afford it + it’s too much of a stress financially and mentally. But we were hoping to find a nice house to rent, that would be a little better than the current one. After many many visits with the broker and seeing many houses, I think we have finally found one that matches the picture we had in mind. Nicely done interiors, 2 balconies for my plant babies, a big kitchen, nice cozy rooms. We instantly fell in love with the house. But like every other thing in my life, nothing goes smoothly without a few hurdles and setbacks. So turns out, the owner is busy and somewhat of a pompous ass. His behaviour was a big turn off, but then he stays overseas and we will hardly have to interact much with him. And the house was too good to let go. So we sucked up and went ahead. And in a few days time we will be shifting. Hoping this new beginning will prove to be a good move for us. Fingers crossed. 🤞🤞🏠
Next up, we have been really busy arranging the packing and moving. That included selling some of our old, way overused and worn out furniture. Now if you haven’t had any experience selling used furnitures online, let me tell you, it’s a real pain in the ass. There are more scammers that real buyers and we too had our brush with a few of them. Thankfully, my friends and family warned me of this and insisted that we do all transactions in cash. Since we are shifting in a few days, I put up all the stuff for sale at dirt cheap prices. Most people who showed interest or bought them were actually shop owners who would take them, refurbish and sell the same stuff at much higher prices.
However, one evening a young boy came with his father to pick up the centre table. Upon asking, he mentioned that they too have a furniture shop but however, this particular table, they were gonna take it home. Over the past years, we have used this table for so many tea and chitchat sessions, shared innumerable laughs and made some good memories chilling with friends and family. And hearing this, I couldn’t help but think of the many cups of tea they too will share over this table and the many memories they would probably create and remember years later. It was going to be a new beginning for the little boy as well as my beloved centre table. I hope it finds itself in a house where there is warmth, love and many conversations. Au revoir old friend.🥰
For the past few days, I have been thinking of pursuing another passion of mine. Traveling. Yes, the last 2 years have been a bummer for most of us, putting all the major travel plans on the back burner. But if things don’t get worse, hopefully we will be able to step out and explore the world again. I have had the good fortune of traveling to some amazing places so far, and have heaps of pictures with me. So I have finally decided to start an Instagram page for all my travel photos. Been quite busy with that lately, regularly updating the page and getting it started. Interacting with fellow travel enthusiasts and seeing breathtaking pictures. Also, getting to see some really interesting photography techniques on several such pages. So yes, I am learning a lot and really liking the process of it. Looking forward to this new beginning.📸😊😊
Words have an impact on all of us…I guess that’s why so many of are here, writing, reading, learning. Because words leave an impression. They can make us happy, they can make us sad, they can make us nostalgic, and even enrage us at times. They can also inspire us, motivate us, or definitely make us think and reflect. These words can be lines from a poem, dialog from a movie, or even a quote said by famous personalities or one made famous by popular culture.
So in this post, I thought I will share some of my favourite quotes, which I carry with me in my heart and remind myself of, whenever needed. Here goes.
1. PEOPLE WILL NEVER TRULY UNDERSTAND SOMETHING UNTIL IT HAPPENS TO THEM.
I truly believe that for someone looking outside in, they can never really understand exactly what you’re going through. Especially, if they haven’t been in the same or atleast similar circumstances. At best, They can try to understand, they can sympathize, they can empathize. But no-one will really know the storm brewing in your mind, body or heart unless they have been in the exact same situation. And if you see it logically, it kinda makes sense too. How can anyone know a certain feeling or a certain pain when they haven’t experienced anything close to that themselves. So it will be wrong on my part to even expect that. So when I am going through some major shit and someone (with good intentions), says stuff like ‘I understand’, or ‘I feel you’, when I know they have no clue what it feels like, earlier my inner voice would be like ‘No dude, you don’t understand, you have no idea what it’s like, so don’t talk shit and Shut the F*** up 😡🥊’. But remembering this quote restores the zen in me and makes me say ‘Thanks🙏😊’ instead. Saves some pretty nasty fights I’d say.
2. DON’T COMPARE YOUR LIFE TO OTHERS. THERE’S NO COMPARISON BETWEEN SUN AND THE MOON. THEY SHINE WHEN IT’S THEIR TIME.
Most of us have this terrible habit of comparing ourselves with others. Could be comparison of looks, health, wealth, good fortune et al. And end up feeling terrible seeing others doing so well while we are heading nowhere. I am guilty of this too. But when I came across this quote, it really made me realise that each of us have our own journeys, our own struggles and our own time to shine and thrive. It’s really not fair to compare myself to someone more successful (for example) when I have no idea how hard that person must have worked to get there. And that he/she must have struggled way more than me to achieve what they have got. So all I have to do is remind myself that now is their time to shine. If I have a goal and work towards it, tomorrow will be my time to shine.🌞🌞
3. LET IT HURT, LET IT BLEED, LET IT HEAL, LET IT GO.
We all get hurt, either by people or our circumstances. Holding onto those grudges only makes us bitter and cynical. It keeps us from being happy or content. So whenever anything or anyone Hurts me, I give myself some time to process it, maybe even cry it out and then to eventually try to let go of the emotional baggage coz it really serves me no purpose dragging it around and getting bogged down by the pressure of it. Of course it doesn’t come so easily always. But then we are all works in progress, aren’t we? So I keep telling myself this: Let Go and Break free. 🙂
4. WE’RE ALL IN THE SAME GAME; JUST DIFFERENT LEVELS. DEALING WITH THE SAME HELL; JUST DIFFERENT DEVILS.
I just love this quote. We are all going through some difficulties or the other, maybe we don’t know it, we don’t realise it. But we are. Every one has their own devils to deal with. So no judgement, no comparison. Just keep going. Life is one big complicated mess and we are all riddled with some trouble or the other. Do your best, face your own challenges, try your hardest to overcome them and move ahead. So even in our bad times, we are not alone. Someone might be having it better right now, but some others are going through worse. Always remember that.
5. THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Saved my most favourite quote for the last. I derive a lot of strength from this one. Whenever I am low, I keep telling myself this, over and over again. Nothing is permanent. Bad times don’t last forever. They will give way to better days and happier times. Just be patient and sail through the storm. Have faith in your heart. Know that This too shall pass. 💗💗
So these were my 5 favourite quotes that give me strength, courage and hope. I hope they resonate with you all. What are your favourite quotes? Please share in the comments. I’d love to read them and maybe add to my list of favourite quotes.
The next, you’re flying upto heaven with angel wings.
It’s true, we come alone and go alone.
Yet we totally forget this stark truth,
And chase money, luxury and the throne,
When all we need is for the boat of life to sail smooth.
The wealth we earn isn’t ours to take,
We go empty handed when we leave,
All that matters are the good deeds we do, the friends we make,
And all the bonds, connections and relationships we weave.
What really counts is all the hearts we touched,
The wrongdoers we forgave, the ones we selflessly helped,
The people we loved, the ones with whom we laughed,
The challenges we overcame and the gamut of emotions we felt.
So remember this my friend,
‘A good life means acquiring riches’ is a complete fallacy,
Coz ultimately, at the very end,
The love we give and the memories we create and leave behind, is our true legacy. 💖💖
This poem is in fond memory of my uncle who passed away a few days back. Losing him was definitely tragic, but more than that, it was completely unexpected and caught us all by surprise. And such events really compel one to take a step back and think hard. And realise how truly unpredictable life is. One moment you’re here and the next moment You’re gone. The huge turnout at his funeral was a testament to the man he was and the love people had for him. And it made me realise that a well lived life is truly all about love, kindness and empathy. What do you think? Do share your thoughts. Much love to all of you. 💗💗
Every angle, every direction I look, there’s something new,
I wish I could explore more, if only I was not strapped and chair bound.
I keep trying to see things in these clouds,
Any shapes and figures my mind can conjure,
Seems ethereal, like a mystical mystery it shrouds,
That makes me look out in amazement and ponder.
The soft, fleecy clouds floating about,
To my inner child’s imagination, could be a million scoops of icecream,
Or sometimes, my devout heart can see God’s divine rays peeking out.
Other times, my logical mind can only marvel at the Creator’s scientific genius, while the poet in me can simply stare and dream.
Myriad thoughts, endless emotions,
Gives a chance for me and the infinity to converse.
Every time I am flying through the clouds, I feel like I am entranced with some magic potion,
Coz I am always left in awe of the magnificence and humbled by magnanimity of the universe.
I have been fortunate to fly many times in my life. Yet the view from the top never ceases to amaze me. ⛅☁️❤️ The pristine white clouds floating by, maintaining perfect balance, stretching as far as my eyes can see till the horizon, always casts a spell on me. And unless it’s a very early morning flight (in which case I am probably sleeping even before takeoff 😂😂), I am always looking out, soaking in the beauty of the sky, lost in a plethora of thoughts and sometimes remembering to capture some pictures that can help in day dreaming when I am back to mundane life on land..what are your thoughts when you’re flying? What do you think about? Please tell me in the comments. You know it wouldn’t hurt to know there are a few crazies out there just like me 😊💟
As most of you must be aware, Tokyo Olympics 2020 just came to an end recently followed by the Paralympics, where the best athletes from all around the globe competed to win the much coveted medals and make their countrymen proud of their heroic efforts and achievements.
When I was a kid, I loved watching the Olympics. So many different events. So many people from all over the world competing. To this day, I am quite an avid follower (although I am hardly a sportsperson myself. Maybe I would be, if being a couch potato was a sport 😂😂). I may not have the time to watch all of it anymore, but I do check the highlights every day. It’s not just the competition that appeals to my heart. Its always been the burning fire in their eyes, the passion to bring all their years of hardwork and dedication to fruition and also some exemplary acts of sportsmanship, friendship and respect for each other. Any form of sports can really teach us a lot about all such virtues which we can learn from and try to inculcate in our own lives, even off the field.
I particularly like reading about the winners and their journey. The many obstacles and hurdles most of them have managed to overcome to come and compete on this global level. Whether it’s physical disabilities, poverty, discrimination, exploitation, racial and gender biases, each one have their own struggles and their own journeys, each of which is absolutely inspirational and really admirable.
During one such reading spree, I came across a very interesting article about a rather bizarre sight quite often seen in the Olympics as well as in other sporting events. It’s called something like ‘Sad Silver Face’ or ‘Sad Silver Syndrome’
In the various pictures taken of the medal winners, it was seen that the Gold and Bronze winners had the brightest smiles while the Silver winners are often seen sulking, brooding or frowning. They have a look of disdain, disappointment, dejection or even anger in some cases. Isn’t it wierd that this person is being awarded the 2nd best position in his/her game and yet somehow they’re not happy or satisfied? And right next to them, is another person, who has achieved lesser (bronze winners) but is still so much happier.
This is because the Silver medalist actually Lost the match to the Gold medal winner. That’s why they look so disappointed. Because in their minds, they keep going over their own mistakes, analysing where they went wrong. They keep wondering how different and wonderful things would be, if the game had ended in their favour. If only they had not made that tiny mistake, if only the opponent had conceded a point. This constant comparison with the one who fared better, really depletes any joy of their own victory. They are so preoccupied with the what ifs, that often times, they don’t value the precious and historic moment that they have actually created for themselves. And hence the ‘Sad Silver Faces’. 🥈😩😖😟😡😭
On the other hand, there are the Bronze medal winners. They achieve a spot on the pedestal by WINNING against their opponent. Unlike the top 2, securing a medal is not guaranteed for them. It’s either a medal or no medal. Either they get to kiss a medal and secure their place in the history of the sports or they go home empty handed with so much regret and disappointment. So when they defeat their opponents to secure the Bronze medal, their happiness understandably knows no bounds. And that’s why they are often seen to be smiling from ear to ear, celebrating and enjoying every moment of it. 🥉😊😄🥳🎉
I guess we can also relate this to our own lives. Its all a matter of perspective. Just like the silver medal winners, most of us are so busy looking and comparing to those that have more than us, that we forget how far we ourselves have come, how much we have achieved. We forget to appreciate what we have and be thankful for all the good in our lives. Constant comparison with someone who has more or has it better, only diminishes the quality of our lives. It takes away from our own accomplishments, contentment, happiness and peace of mind. For the few wise ones who adopt the bronze winner mindset, they will definitely be happier, be more in the moment, savour every minute and celebrate every little accomplishments along the way. Be thankful that at least they came this far.
So, in this race called LIFE, which medal winner do you wanna be? Do tell in the comments. 💖💖
This is precisely the thought on my mind of late. Being stuck at home and waking up every day to do the same thing I did yesterday, I think I have been sucked into the monotony of life. And trust me, I ain’t complaining. I love monotony. It’s predictable, it’s boring and boring is comforting. I know only too well that It doesn’t take much for things to go awry. One phone call, one visit to the doctor, one mishap and life can turn upside down and chaos can set in. And I don’t function well in chaos. I don’t like chaos. God knows I have had more than enough of it in my lifetime.
For the past 2 years, I have led my life in a pretty routine manner. Wake up, office work, household chores, use whatever free time is left to attend to my little garden, binge watch, read, paint, walk or exercise on some days. And the same thing next day.
I take each day as it comes and truly try to live in the present and give my best in the present moment, without much (or any) thought or plans for the future. But is that really enough? I thought so, but seems like people around me disagree. It started with a discussion with the husband when he told me that it’s not enough. That I must try to broaden my horizons. That everyone needs to have a vision of where they see themselves in a few years and then work on a plan to get there. Smarty pants gave me a full blown lecture on the importance to plan for the road ahead. And I do know it comes from a place of concern and good intentions, but this is sort of a sensitive topic for me, so everytime we have such a discussion, I act out, get defensive and the discussion turns into a spat!! 😵😖
The thing is, I have had some bitter experience in the past related to dreaming big wonderful things. Whenever I have dreamt of doing something for myself, planned for something, wanted something so bad, life’s evil tricks have landed all such plans and aspirations flat on their face and shattered all the dreams. Like one time, I got into one of the best MBA colleges. My undergrads college experience was quite dull and boring so, I had gone there with the determination to make this count. I wanted this post-grad experience to be epic. To party hard, study hard and excel. And I did. For a few months. Until a blood clot landed up in my lungs and I ended up in the ICU!! I lost out on a year. I could have gone back. I could have finished. But I just ended up going back to work and never completed my post grads. And this is neither the worst thing to have happened nor the only time. Such things have happened again and again. Everytime I pick myself up, something new and worse knocks me right down.
So, I have made peace with the fact that planning and dreaming is probably not for me. I strive to live wholeheartedly in the present moment and make the most of it. After all, even the worst of obstacles can’t shatter a dream you haven’t dreamt or kill the hopes you haven’t built. Just going with the flow, each day at a time. Just drifting. You could say it’s my defence mechanism, my safety net. My make-believe-cocoon-of-happiness.
However the recent spat with the husband continued to bother me. Not because we fought and said things. We did reconcile the next day. But I kept wondering, is he right (can you imagine how hard it must be for a wife to admit that😛)? Does he have a valid point?🤔 Whenever, I have such existential crisis questions bothering me, I resort to some advice from my bestie. Whenever in crisis or self doubt, she’s my go to person. My free therapist!! She lives in another country, she’s awfully busy but she understands when I NEED to talk to her. And this time our chat was immensely uplifting and an eye opener of sorts for me. And this is what she had to say.
She asked me the same thing that is the title of my blog..‘ Do you want to drift or do you want to be driven?. If you drift along, go with the flow, with no certain plans, no direction, no aspirations, no expectations, then you will probably lead a comfortable but mediocre life. Wishes will remain unfulfilled, desires will remain dormant, achievements few and sense of accomplishment even less. Years later when you look back at your life, you will probably realize it wasn’t the best version of the life you hoped for, with many unfulfilled dreams, many items not checked from your bucket list. And then you might wish you had taken a different approach. That, despite circumstances, you had taken the reins of your life in your own hand. Been the one riding the car of your life rather than being in the passenger seat and see life just whisk past you. But then it will probably be too late and all you will have is just regret. Regret for not doing more, not doing better for yourself. Instead, now if you decide that you don’t want to just drift from one day to the next but instead be driven, by taking control of your life and deciding on a direction, a path and work towards it, then irrespective of how things turn out (and by that I mean Fate being a total b**ch and F-ing up things), you will atleast have the satisfaction that you tried. You tried to make a difference, you tried to make your life more fulfilled, more meaningful. Even if things don’t work out as you planned, You can accept things without regret. And that will also give you some much needed peace and satisfaction.‘
Needless to say, her words really left an indelible impression on me. And yes, it’s given me some courage to atleast think about things. What I want, who I want to be down the line. And after many many years, I am atleast giving it some thought. That itself is a big step in the right direction for me.
And this is the exact reason I am sharing this here. So that , if any of you reading this, find yourself in a similar predicament where you’re afraid to dream, to hope, to aspire, that reading this may give you some food for thought and propel you to think about not just drifting along, not just surviving from day to day, but actually driving your life in the direction that your heart desires. Would love to hear to hear your thoughts on this. Remember, we are all in this together. ❤️❤️
That could totally break you and shatter your near and dears?
Would you wait and wait longer,
Or would you face reality and come out stronger?
Would you just ignore your imminent troubles?
Or rather come out of your pretend-to-be-happy bubble,
And face the reality that awaits,
Just ready to barge in and desecrate
Everything that you hold dear,
And make all the little joys disappear.
The truth is seldom pleasant,
But the fear is omnipresent.
So i wonder out loud, is it better to continue to live in denial,
Or to muster the courage and face whatever ‘reality monster’ awaits and fight for your survival?
Have you ever felt like this? Like you’re so scared of the outcome that you prefer to live in denial rather than face the music?…it could be a breakup or a visit to the doctor or a thesis submission or any other situation that needs to be addressed and dealt with, but there’s always the possibility that things won’t go your way and will have significant consequences that might adversely affect the course of your future. So, instead of just getting done with it, we just sit on it, too afraid of what the outcome might be. On the surface, everything is normal, everything is mundane, but underneath the veneer of normalcy, there lurks a hidden fear, that just eats you up little by little. Have you ever been in such a predicament? I know I have. And it’s not a happy state to be in. Would love to know your thoughts and how you handled it..Much love to all of you fighting such secret battles 💟💟
So about 6 months ago, when we had just about stepped into 2020, I had written a post (read My Quest for a new ‘Talent’) basically elaborating on the lack of any special skills or talents that I can brag about or post on social media to make my ‘social media friends’ go awww in awe of my talents and also be a source of joy to myself in the process. So I set out on a quest to look through every nook and corner of YouTube, Instagram to see if it would give me new ideas that I could pursue in this quest for finding me a ‘talent’. A few such activities/ideas did make it to my coveted ‘Talents to be tried’ list…some worked out, some not quite … thought it will be fun to share it with you all.
Wait, is that 👆👆 me? Well, I will let you be the judge of that…let’s get started 😀
1. Paint by numbers : 👎🏻
When I came across this, I was blown away..I always thought painting was fun but it’s been years since I have held a painting brush in my hand. So the idea of numbers guiding through was so encouraging. I mean it had 2 favourite things of mine..numbers and paints. It could never go wrong. As the Amazon package arrived, I looked at it and immediately made plans to hang the ‘masterpiece’ in the living room to soak up praises from anyone visiting. 😎
However, it’s only when I started, I realized it was no mean feat. The canvas was quite big and the numbers minuscule. It was a test of my patience and my eye sight. But I didn’t give up. For the next few days, every night I was hard at work. And I did make some progress. But the end was nowhere in sight. After more than a month of such perseverance, I realized I wasn’t even halfway through. My enthusiasm and patience was weaning off. My husband saying, ‘hey I can’t figure out what the hell you’ve been trying to draw for the past few weeks’ was the last straw…it’s still lying there waiting to be finished. Maybe one day I will pick up from where I left it and finish it. Maybe once it’s finished, it will really look good. Honestly, it’s a great idea. If you are really really patient, this is perfect for you. For me, I ran out of patience and this talent didn’t quite work out. 😔
2. Gardening: 👍🏻
Well, I know this is more of a hobby than a talent. But it’s something I have picked up pretty recently so I thought it deserves a mention. Now if you do read my blog regularly or even scroll through some of my recent blogs (My Mini Garden Tales, Spring for my Soul 🌻🌼🦋🌺), you will know that I have totally fallen in love with gardening. Every morning, that’s the first place I go to. To see if seeds have sprouted or there are new flowers blooming or some plant needs some pruning. I make a mental list of the things to do in the mini garden later in the day. It’s tedious and time consuming but hell, I love it!! So yayy. thumbs up alright 🌼🌻🌺🌹
3. Bottle Painting: 👍🏻
I have to say, this has to be the best thing I stumbled upon on YouTube. There are some amazing channels on YouTube with detailed tutorial videos on painting bottles and decorating them with different things. I am as addicted to watching these videos as I am into trying them all out..so far, I have tried my hand at mandala art, glass paint, tissues, lentils, pista covers, Charred paper and currently clay…all on glass bottles..it’s so engrossing and creatively very satisfying.
And once done, they make way to my work desk where they are displayed in all their glory and just looking at them makes me happy. At this rate, I fear I have to get a bigger table just to fit them all. 😂😂 Earlier, I would get Amazon packages regularly with new clothes, tops and dresses. These days, it’s all about my art supplies. Colors, brushes, varnish, glue, clay etc etc. In fact at the back of my mind, I am always thinking of my next project, what to do and how to do it. So this one definitely gets a big thumbs up 👍🏻😀💟
4. Good ol’ painting: 👍🏻
Since I already had all the colors and brushes for bottle painting, I thought, why not try the traditional water painting. Honestly, I am NOT a great painter. I can draw sceneries but I CANNOT draw human figures, I just don’t get the dimensions right and they end up looking more like hobbits. 🤷Yet, it feels so great to draw and paint in a coloring book. Reminds me of my childhood. I haven’t done much although. Definitely hope to do more of it in the coming days. But that’s a thumbs up too 👍🏻🎨
Infact I have been using up all the paints to paint whatever I can find, mugs, cardboard boxes…Its just fun playing around with colors and giving them a makeover. 💟💟😀
Apart from all these, I am always looking for new DIY projects that aren’t too complicated and will be fun thing to do. I have made a list of few more things like wall decor items, making artificial flowers out of waste materials. We’ll see how that goes.
But what I have realised in the past few months is that we are never too old to try something new. We just have to take the initiative and jump right in…maybe the first time, it won’t be that good or not any good at all, but who cares. As long as we have fun and enjoy ourselves, thats all that really matters.
So if there’s something that you have always wanted to try out, but couldn’t , for whatever reason, now’s as good a time as any. Give it a go. Am sure you will enjoy yourself. Do tell in the comments. 😀✌️
The other day, I stumbled upon the most beautiful sunset I have seen in a while.
One that caught me by surprise and made me break into a smile.
So many shades, like a painter’s canvas,
Or a writer’s cathartic poetic stanza.
Just stood there soaking in the beauty with a fixed gaze,
Nature’s magnanimity and magnificence never fails to amaze.
Left me with the profound realization,
Just like every sunset promises a new dawn,
In the same way, the bad times eventually gives way to the good ones.
Which ushers in promises of new hope, some laughter and even some dance.
So, no matter how awful was the day,
Keep some faith in Mother nature’s mysterious ways,
When you least expect, she will send the most beautiful surprise your way.
One that will momentarily make you forget your worries and take all your stress away. 💗💗
Due to the relaxations in the lockdown restrictions imposed in my city, Last weekend stepped out to have lunch at a friend’s house..they have a beautiful south west facing balcony and the sunset view from there was just breathtaking…clicked endless pics…sharing a few with you all..do let me know if you like it. What are your thoughts or realisations on seeing such beautiful sunrises and sunsets? Do tell 😊💟
The pandemic hit us all hard and left us stuck at home with the same mundane routine of office work, incessant zoom calls and endless household chores (man,they never get over)..but if social media is any proof, it’s also given most of us some spare time to reconnect… reconnect with ourselves, reconnect with our old friends and also to reconnect with our hobbies and passions…I see endless posts from my friends/acquaintances putting up pictures of their culinary skills or fitness routines, or artwork or poetries…just like them, even I have discovered a new found love …for gardening 🌱🌿
First of all, it’s been many months of lockdown here owing to the ravaging second wave. The nearest nursery from where I bought the plants has been closed forever. So it’s been about 5-6 months that I couldn’t buy any new plants. So to keep up the garden, I knew I had to take extra care of the pant babies already there and make sure that they continue to thrive. And to my utter joy, they did. Most of them anyway. 😊😍
However, despite my best efforts I failed to save 2 of my plant babies…I tried to water more, water less, repot, everything a novice like me knew or could think of. But they just gradually withered and slipped away. ☹️☹️
But, Mother nature works in mysterious ways. While I couldn’t save 2 of the plants despite trying so hard, a few stems just sprang up out of nowhere and blossomed to full sized healthy plants… with zero effort from my side!! Talk about Circle of life. Funny thing, till now I am not even sure what these are called. If you guys have a clue, do let me know in the comments section. But they are beautiful and thriving. So name or not, I Ain’t complaining. 💟🌿😀
A few weeks back I went down to get some groceries and on my way back I noticed some beautiful potted plants near the security guards’ room. I came to know that the owners were not living here currently so they were left to his care. So took his permission and cut out a few stems and used them to fill my empty pots. And with some nurturing and care, they have been doing pretty well so far. Welcome home babies 💟💟
Next up, I turned my attention to the kitchen. I did some research to see what veggies or greens can be grown easily and how to get started on them. For now, I used some pumpkin, papaya, lemon, chilly and coriander seeds and slowly they are coming out. Yet to get any fruits but it’s a joy seeing them come to life from a few dried seeds. I never realized how fun it is to see new stems popping out of the soil to form full grown plants. Here they are 😀😀
And like before (read Rebirth…), I planted some dried up leftover flowers into the soil and I can see new plants. Whether they bear flowers or not, we will have to wait and see.
Well it’s been less than a year since I started working on my mini balcony garden. And I am still learning. Must say, being a plant parent is a lot of work. You gotta ensure you’re watering them right, make sure unwanted insects don’t eat up the leaves, get rid of them if need be, ensure they get adequate sunlight. But it’s also been a very enriching and fulfilling experience. It keeps me busy. It keeps me happy. And most importantly, it keeps me hopeful. Every time, a flower blossoms or a tiny little stem sprouts up from the soil, it’s just pure, unadulterated joy. And for that I thank my beautiful plant babies 🥰😍.