A Birthday, a R.E.U.N.I.O.N and an Anniversary

So 3 things happened in the past few days, which I would consider to be fairly significant milestones in my life.

First I celebrated my 30-something birthday on the 26th of May, which was by the way, my 2ND Lockdown birthday…and probably as a birthday gift from the universe, the F.R.I.E.N.D.S R.E.U.N.I.O.N aired the very next day 🥳🥳. And today, I completed a full year of starting this blog.📝✍️

Ok so first about the birthday..like I mentioned, this was my second lockdown birthday. Last year too we were under total lockdown. Even getting a cake was difficult. There was no going out, no dressing up, no meeting with friends, no party shenanigans. Fortunately my parents were with me, so they made up for it with their love and pampering, including a scrumptious lunch prepared by my mother including all things my favourite. 🥰😋

Last year, I bought a nice dress, thinking of wearing it when we step out once this pandemic is behind us. Stupid me. Am sure the pandemic devil was silently chuckling. And yes, like you would imagine that dress is still waiting to be worn. There was a time (even until last year) when I was hooked on to online shopping, I just couldn’t get enough things to buy. But now, even buying a simple top or a new pair of jeans seems like a long term investment. Who knows when I can actually wear them 🙄🤷. Seems like pyajamas are here to stay and slay. ☹️

This year’s birthday was just like any other day this year. Only difference, I took leave from work, which is about as exciting and happening as it can be when you’re under total lockdown. Parents not here with me this time, so cooked up my favourite things, ate lots of cake (thanks to husband for pre-ordering from my favourite patisserie), spoke to Friends and family and spent a considerable amount of time being lazy and doing nothing productive. Come to think of it, maybe it wasn’t the best birthday I’ve had, but a day spent lazying around and doing absolutely nothing, is actually a day well spent indeed 😁💤.

Infact, probably first time ever, I couldn’t wait for my birthday to get over coz the very next day it was time for the FRIENDS REUNION. Now if you have read my earlier posts, you would know that am a huge, huge fan. I dedicated an entire post to the series (read My ode to F.R.I.E.N.D.S) and I keep referring to them in every other post. For me the series is like comfort food, each episode like a spoonful of chocolate icecream. Familiar and comforting. Just what I need to get through the hiccups of the day. So imagine my excitement when I say that I was gonna see my favourite 6 people together again. At the same place and at the same time. After 17 years!! Could I BE any happier😄😄

When I heard of the team working on something, I was hoping they would take the story forward and we would see how their lives have shaped up after all these years. Did Joey ever fall in love and get married? Does Monica still laugh at chandler’s jokes? Are Ross and Rachel still together or are they again on a break? How many cats does Mike and Phoebe have at home? Is Janice still trying to woo chandler? Wouldn’t it be nice to know how these characters are doing after all these years. But I guess they thought it best to leave this to our imagination. And a reunion is what they planned for us fans.

And such a joy it was to see them all together again. I had goosebumps as I saw each of them walk into the same sets where they acted in all the 10 seasons. Watching them go down memory lane, reliving their character’s iconic moments, talk about their journey. It was just heart warming. And to know that Jen and David (Ross and Rachel) did actually have feelings for each other much like their onscreen characters….who knows maybe they could have been lobsters in real life too. Ok. I need to stop fantasizing. It was just a joy to see all of them come together and talk about and celebrate the greatest show ever (for me atleast). 💗💗

And lastly, today I completed 1 year of blogging. I opened this account to just vent and ramble on about things that bothered me, about things I wanted to discuss. I chose to go anonymous so that I could say things here that I refrain from sharing on other fancy social media platforms (read The half hearted smile…🙂🙂. ). I never thought anyone would read them,let alone like them. But, this past year has been so amazing. I have connected with some wonderful people here, who actually read and leave a comment on all my posts. I have had the opportunity to read so much here…. beautiful poetries, fictions, life experiences. It has been truly a fantastic experience and for that, I thank you all. I hope we can continue to inspire and motivate each other in the coming days. My love and gratitude to you all for the support and encouragement. 💖🤗

Tough times

The world thought it had tamed the monster,

That they had succeeded in preventing another disaster.

Alas, Couldn’t have been more wrong,

The queue of body bags keeps getting long.

The times we face now are indeed grim and rough,

And as days go by, the going gets tough.

People all around are suffering,

Healthcare system is collapsing.

The cities are exhausted and breathless,

Everywhere you look, the governance is a shameful mess.

There’s panic and fear everywhere,

Without sufficient medicines, the less fortunate resorts to prayer.

The wise ones stay at home,

While the covidiots continue to roam.

Everyday is a new record.

But we are nowhere near the peak, mark my word.

When will we start to heal and mend?

Oh God, when will this nightmare end?

Dear all, Now is NOT the time to give up and despair,

Time to show our inherent human resilience extraordinaire.

We have to put up a brave fight to see this through,

Remember we are all in this together- me and you.

Together we will fight the monster, till we bid it adieu,

Coz tough times don’t last, but tough people do.

“Everybody goes through difficult times, but it is those who push through those difficult times who will eventually become successful in life. Don’t give up, because this too shall pass.”

― Jeanette Coron

Is there a secret formula to a happy marriage?? 🤔🤔

The other day the husband got a Call from his bud…asking to meet for drinks and that he needed ‘to talk’. Upon his return (and some nudging), I came to know that their marriage has hit a rough patch and catching up for drinks was just an excuse to find a friendly ear to vent out the pent up frustrations and discuss the hell that his married life has turned into.

And this is not the first friend with marital woes… recently reconnected with one of my college buddies and he too complained of trouble in paradise…surprised me because he is one of the nicest, coolest person I know. Plus, he is married for less than a year….and here I was, assuming he is too busy enjoying his honeymoon period to bother about old friends…

Tales of such marital discord definitely stays on longer in a woman’s mind than a man’s. I say this with some certainty seeing the nonchalance on my husband’s part and quite the opposite on mine 😛.

When you hear so much about trouble in other people’s married lives, you are bound to take a good, hard look at your own…wonder if all is indeed well…if you are really, truly happy or it’s a just a superficial facade while it’s rotting underneath?….is the pandemic to be blamed for this? Are people unraveling under the pressures of being stuck at home with each other 24/7 and that is causing all the pent up issues to come to the surface? I mean, before covid walked in, we all had busy lives, going to work, commuting, socializing with friends, colleagues..and barely had enough time to spend with our spouses….now we spend every waking moment seeing them around..

Now, neither am I any expert nor my marriage is perfect, but my husband and I have been together for almost 9 years now…dated for 5 and married for 4..and in these 9 years we have gone through stuff that most people face in their entire lifetime..sickness, loss, grief, financial struggles, and of course a pandemic (who can forget that)….the ride has often been extremely difficult, tempestuous and at times turbulent…more so for the circumstances than anything else. Like 2 people stranded on a little boat caught in a storm in the middle of the sea (remember Life of Pi people?), braving the weather and the adversities that come with it…in short, we have been sailing our way through some serious shit. Anyways, that’s a tale for another day and another post.

My point is, I always thought, that marriage or any romantic relationship for that matter, stands on 3 pillars , much like a tripod stand on its 3 legs, namely
LOVE, LUST and FRIENDSHIP.
Of course, that’s oversimplifying a very complex dynamics but this was just how I categorised it as per my understanding when I was young, naive and perhaps stupid.

But, over the years, I have realized that perhaps this formula isn’t foolproof. Lets be honest, lust decreases after a point. After years together with the same person, the passion and intensity dwindles, some amount of monotony sets in (if that’s not the case with you…damn you make me jealous😜😜).
For love, I’d say it kinda plateaus out, meaning it reaches the peak and then flattens out, which is a good thing as it means it’s consistent (OK, have to admit this idea is borrowed. The husband said it one day and it just stuck with me🤫🤫). You don’t get butterflies in your stomach every time he walks in, or you don’t blush at every compliment and compliments themselves are few and far between 🙄🤨. But it’s the third leg that actually keeps the ball rolling – friendship.

Think about it, it is friendship that makes us comfortable with each other. If you’re better friends, chances are you’ll talk more, share more, communicate more, maybe even fight more and get things out of your system. You will enjoy each others’ company more and understand where each one stands on certain matters. And it will definitely make these stuck-at-home-pandemic-days more bearable. Of course there are many other factors such as trust, respect, loyalty etc at play. But broadly speaking, sustaining a happy , healthy relationship definitely lies in becoming better friends. That is assuming the other 2 factors remain constant. Coz a friendly-but-cheating partner does no good to this formula 🙄😕😎🤬😡

That’s just my opinion of things as I see it right now…do let me know if you agree or disagree. Peace 😊✌️

Love thy Neighbour..or at least know them!!

The pandemic has affected different people in different ways.. but for most of us, I can say with some confidence , that it has made us homebodies. We have realized there’s a certain joy in working from home dressed in our old, worn out tee and PJs and we ain’t getting out of them any time soon…move over Gucci, Versace…the new fashion trend is here to S-L-A-Y 😀😀

There was a time when home was where we returned to at night, after a hectic day at work, to sleep at night. Or the place where we spent our lazy weekends, just resting, rejuvenating. Charging up our batteries for the crazy work week ahead. The time when Monday blues was indeed a real thing..a real feeling. Thanks to Covid, the home is now our safety net. Our fortress that ensures the enemy stays outdoors (mostly). Initially, like many of you, I struggled to cope with this huge change in my life and daily routine. Always staying indoors. Getting used to living 24/7 in this confined space took a while. But now, a year later, there’s no place I’d rather be. ❤️🏠

These days, the very thought of going out, getting out of my PJs and looking at the wardrobe trying to remember all the clothing (heaps of it) I own itself is tiring. I do enjoy the walks in the terrace and the occasional grocery shopping (rest is all ordered online), but for the most parts, I have kind of found solace in this forced isolation. I have learnt new things, developed new hobbies, rekindled old passion with the paint brush (not the ex🤪) . Long story short, I find ways to keep myself as engaged and occupied as possible.

This transition has been somewhat bearable due to the technology at our disposal primarily Internet, smartphones, social media…thanks to them, we can still be connected to our friends and family, get work done (lots of it) and have some semblance of normalcy in this unprecedented time in the history of the world..

But once a while, I too am stuck with pangs of loneliness. Wanting to actually sit and chat with someone. Get to know them. Share a cup of coffee. Chat. Have a hearty laugh. Those times I crib endlessly to my husband, who looks at me with disbelief, that I still feel the need to talk more, in addition to the endless chitchat I forcefully engage him in daily😂😂.

The other day, while on a quick grocery shopping spree, I bumped into my new neighbor. I had an important work call to get to, so the interaction was very brief, and I did not even pay much attention to what she said as I had to run back home to make it to the call. So I just said ‘nice to meet you, do drop by sometime’ and went my own way without much thought into it. And frankly, I just said it as a courtesy and did not expect to meet her unless we bumped into each other in the elevator once again some other time.

But it was a pleasant surprise when she came by to say ‘Hi’ with a box of cupcakes (how could I not invite her in with a big smile after that 😛)…and we started talking…turns out we are from the same city, about the same age, speak the same language, have similar crazy hectic work lives, both struggling to manage work and household chores…just so much to relate to. And this time I was so engrossed in the conversation that time just flew by and when she said she had to leave, I realized we were chatting for almost an hour!!

This sudden visit from my new neighbor left me with several realizations. Thing is, I had heard they moved in into a flat on the same floor a few weeks back. But never bothered to go meet them, introduce ourselves, you know.. be the good neighbors.Yeah that’s how busy, preoccupied and self serving we millennials are. 🙄🙄 Even when I was cribbing about feeling lonely and craving company, I never thought of reaching out. I should have. Especially now more than ever, when going out to meet friends and cousins may not be wisest thing to do. But am glad she did. Before leaving, she asked me to visit her sometime. I said ‘Yes, definitely. I’d love to’. This time I meant it and fully intend to follow through.

I was looking for a friend and it was waiting right next door!! How wierd yet how wonderful. Here’s looking forward to a new friendship 🥂😊