F.E.A.R

There are so many F words that come to my mind,
Of them the most omnipresent would be FEAR,
To this emotion I seem to have completely resigned,
It grips me completely when at night even the slightest sound comes to my ear.

When was the last time I lived without it,
I honestly don’t remember.
I ponder hard and suddenly it hit,
It was few years back till before September.

That was the time when fear gripped me harder than ever,
It paralyzed me and made me go numb,
After that, it became permanent and  left me never..
It surpasses everything else and makes all the other emotions and me totally dumb.

As much as I may try to think past it,
And divert attention elsewhere,
This constant fear makes me beat,
No matter where I look or turn my gaze, I always feel it lurking ….oh it’s just right there.

Fear of losing, fear of trying new things, fear of enjoying too much,
The constant paranoia…I can’t even begin to tell,
It basically holds me back from doing anything wild and adventurous as such,
Here’s hoping one day I can conquer it and bid it a final farewell.. And tell it to go to HELL.