Are you Drifting or are you Driven??

This is precisely the thought on my mind of late. Being stuck at home and waking up every day to do the same thing I did yesterday, I think I have been sucked into the monotony of life. And trust me, I ain’t complaining. I love monotony. It’s predictable, it’s boring and boring is comforting. I know only too well that It doesn’t take much for things to go awry. One phone call, one visit to the doctor, one mishap and life can turn upside down and chaos can set in. And I don’t function well in chaos. I don’t like chaos. God knows I have had more than enough of it in my lifetime.

For the past 2 years, I have led my life in a pretty routine manner. Wake up, office work, household chores, use whatever free time is left to attend to my little garden, binge watch, read, paint, walk or exercise on some days. And the same thing next day.

I take each day as it comes and truly try to live in the present and give my best in the present moment, without much (or any) thought or plans for the future. But is that really enough? I thought so, but seems like people around me disagree. It started with a discussion with the husband when he told me that it’s not enough. That I must try to broaden my horizons. That everyone needs to have a vision of where they see themselves in a few years and then work on a plan to get there. Smarty pants gave me a full blown lecture on the importance to plan for the road ahead. And I do know it comes from a place of concern and good intentions, but this is sort of a sensitive topic for me, so everytime we have such a discussion, I act out, get defensive and the discussion turns into a spat!! πŸ˜΅πŸ˜–

The thing is, I have had some bitter experience in the past related to dreaming big wonderful things. Whenever I have dreamt of doing something for myself, planned for something, wanted something so bad, life’s evil tricks have landed all such plans and aspirations flat on their face and shattered all the dreams. Like one time, I got into one of the best MBA colleges. My undergrads college experience was quite dull and boring so, I had gone there with the determination to make this count. I wanted this post-grad experience to be epic. To party hard, study hard and excel. And I did. For a few months. Until a blood clot landed up in my lungs and I ended up in the ICU!! I lost out on a year. I could have gone back. I could have finished. But I just ended up going back to work and never completed my post grads. And this is neither the worst thing to have happened nor the only time. Such things have happened again and again. Everytime I pick myself up, something new and worse knocks me right down.

So, I have made peace with the fact that planning and dreaming is probably not for me. I strive to live wholeheartedly in the present moment and make the most of it. After all, even the worst of obstacles can’t shatter a dream you haven’t dreamt or kill the hopes you haven’t built. Just going with the flow, each day at a time. Just drifting. You could say it’s my defence mechanism, my safety net. My make-believe-cocoon-of-happiness.

However the recent spat with the husband continued to bother me. Not because we fought and said things. We did reconcile the next day. But I kept wondering, is he right (can you imagine how hard it must be for a wife to admit thatπŸ˜›)? Does he have a valid point?πŸ€” Whenever, I have such existential crisis questions bothering me, I resort to some advice from my bestie. Whenever in crisis or self doubt, she’s my go to person. My free therapist!! She lives in another country, she’s awfully busy but she understands when I NEED to talk to her. And this time our chat was immensely uplifting and an eye opener of sorts for me. And this is what she had to say.

She asked me the same thing that is the title of my blog..‘ Do you want to drift or do you want to be driven?. If you drift along, go with the flow, with no certain plans, no direction, no aspirations, no expectations, then you will probably lead a comfortable but mediocre life. Wishes will remain unfulfilled, desires will remain dormant, achievements few and sense of accomplishment even less. Years later when you look back at your life, you will probably realize it wasn’t the best version of the life you hoped for, with many unfulfilled dreams, many items not checked from your bucket list. And then you might wish you had taken a different approach. That, despite circumstances, you had taken the reins of your life in your own hand. Been the one riding the car of your life rather than being in the passenger seat and see life just whisk past you. But then it will probably be too late and all you will have is just regret. Regret for not doing more, not doing better for yourself. Instead, now if you decide that you don’t want to just drift from one day to the next but instead be driven, by taking control of your life and deciding on a direction, a path and work towards it, then irrespective of how things turn out (and by that I mean Fate being a total b**ch and F-ing up things), you will atleast have the satisfaction that you tried. You tried to make a difference, you tried to make your life more fulfilled, more meaningful. Even if things don’t work out as you planned, You can accept things without regret. And that will also give you some much needed peace and satisfaction.

Needless to say, her words really left an indelible impression on me. And yes, it’s given me some courage to atleast think about things. What I want, who I want to be down the line. And after many many years, I am atleast giving it some thought. That itself is a big step in the right direction for me.

And this is the exact reason I am sharing this here. So that , if any of you reading this, find yourself in a similar predicament where you’re afraid to dream, to hope, to aspire, that reading this may give you some food for thought and propel you to think about not just drifting along, not just surviving from day to day, but actually driving your life in the direction that your heart desires. Would love to hear to hear your thoughts on this. Remember, we are all in this together. ❀️❀️

39 thoughts on “Are you Drifting or are you Driven??

      1. πŸ’œ YOU!!! ARE Most Welcome; it’s a Pleasure to Share and Serve, Stay Strong and Serene
        …πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™…

        Liked by 1 person

  1. πŸ’Ž – Diamond Hard – πŸ’Ž

    πŸ’Ž Was “Driven” and Constantly DisAppointed EveryOne; so NOW!!! “Drifting” and Very, Very, Very Happy EveryBody

    πŸ’Ž – Diamond Hard – πŸ’Ž

    …πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh you just made my day… really…this was a very personal post about my fears and insecurities….but I went ahead and posted hoping that others can relate to it and maybe get some motivation..the fact that you could relate to it just melts my heart πŸ’–πŸ€—

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Hi. There are no cookie cutter answers. But I’ll mention this: It’s good to pursue interests and to broaden horizons. Life’s more fun that way. But for anyone who is getting up there in years, putting a lot of pressure on yourself to do those things probably isn’t the best approach.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh you’re absolutely right about that…being driven comes easily to some while it may be petrifying experience for someone who has been through a lot..and the driven ones sometimes dont understand why it’s so hard for the ones who find it difficult…there is no definite answer here …no right or wrong… whatever works for you every individual I guess πŸ€·πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Thanks for sharing yourself and this quandry. I have mostly drifted in the last 10-15 years, and probably regret it as your friend says. but my dreams and desires are mostly dormant and I seem unable to find the motivation to make any real changes. I hope you find that spark that gets you in motion.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh I completely understand where you’re coming from…I have been Drifting myself for the past few years with no real goals or dreams or future plans ..the one thing I had set my heart on was travelling but the pandemic put an end to that as well..I don’t know if I will find the spark but for a change I am willing to give it a try… hopefully something will come off it.. fingers crossed πŸ€žπŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much ShwetaπŸ€—πŸ’Ÿ..I definitely agree with you here. My bestie has so much more wisdom and maturity than me…she’s very clear in her thoughts..I try to borrow some of it from time to time πŸ˜›

      Liked by 1 person

  4. πŸ’Ž – Diamond Hard – πŸ’Ž

    πŸ’Ž Just to Expand a Bit on “Drifting” instead of “Driving” I AM at One with My EEP!!! (Energetic Evolution Process!!!) EveryOne; this has meant virtually dispensing with expectations; please Feel Free to Ask Any Questions EveryBody

    πŸ’Ž – Diamond Hard – πŸ’Ž

    …πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž…

    Liked by 1 person

      1. πŸ’œ YOU!!! ARE Most Welcome; it’s a Pleasure to Share and Serve, Stay Strong and Serene

        …πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™…

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Really profound and relatable!
    The past year has been a rollercoaster even when there was nothing much to do. Many times even I felt heavy with the thoughts of not doing enough for my dreams but I have made peace with the flow of the universe.
    Let the universe guide you. Stop pressuring yourself. Great article πŸŒΊπŸŒΊπŸ˜ŠπŸ‘ŒπŸΌ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Deeksha for the assurance that sometimes it’s ok to let the universe guide you..we seem to think alike in that..I loved what you wrote and can really relate to it when you say ‘made peace with the flow of the universe’ πŸ’—πŸ’—

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Interesting. Do you mean that you decide to drift and that’s the way you want to steer your life? I guess that could work as well as long as it’s a consciously taken decision. πŸ€”πŸ€”

      Liked by 1 person

  6. When ever someone has a go at my life, it is actually a reflection of their thoughts about their life. If we listen, we can hear this. The answer to their judgement is of course “You could be right” and “I will consider what you’re saying”, but of course self defense might use other words. Still, there’s that. Anyways, if you do get all upset about drifting or being driven, write down the sentence in a work sheet Byron Katie style. Costs nothing to give that a try and you could learn that you are living your best version, you are living a dream, you are the most wonderful you in the situation you find yourself in.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I set goals but see them as only intentions because I believe being driven can limit our lives to only what we can imagine while universe may have something different/ better/ more fulfilling in store. One just never knows. Being too driven is very stressful and not a happy living but drifting too much means one ceases to dream and nurture the inner child. I think it’s important to have balance so that we are neither workaholics nor only seeing the present because it’s good to be prepare a little for the future, not so much that we are super anxious but enough to be reassured that you have a Plan B if drifting doesn’t quite work. Unfortunately, I tend to be quite driven so am really working on drifting more so that I can take time to enjoy life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that’s a perfect analysis of the pros and cons of both drifting and being driven…and I absolutely agree that maintaining a balance between the two is the most ideal. That way, you can enjoy the present moment as well give your inner self a chance to fulfill its wishes and thrive. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It gave me some clarity as well πŸ’“πŸ’“

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Life is like a river. Sometimes you’re in the river or you are the river and you’re floating along in the calm or bouncing around in the rapids. Sometimes you get caught in the eddies. Sometimes around the bank and you watch Life go by. It’s all connected. If you’re on the bank you can always dive back in if you’re in the river you can always sit on the bank.

    Liked by 1 person

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