My Quest for a new ‘Talent’

Ever since the earth completed another revolution and we moved into 2021, I have been doing some introspection…mainly pertaining to my ‘talents’…. probably coz I off late I have been seeing lot of people posting pictures proudly displaying their talents whether it’s singing or dancing , knitting, painting, fitness or even stand up comedy….so that got me thinking..what are my talents?? πŸ€”πŸ€”

Now whenever anyone asks me that, I very proudly and honestly tell them that my talents are sleeping, lazing around and binge watching Netflix..but then, come on, even I know they are not real talents these are not really talents.. certainly not ones I can display for the world to see and admire…so I go back to contemplate this basic question…what are my talents?

Can I dance? Well if you consider Chandler a good dancer, I guess am as good as him then πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

Can I sing? Well am definitely a bathroom singer…but then who doesn’t sing in the shower. And the point of that is no one’s listening. But in public though I guess I won’t be much better than Janice serenading Chandler (yes ok maybe I should stop giving F.R.I.E.N.D.S references) but I guess it suffices to say that singing in public is definitely not my thing..and won’t be yours too if you are Listening πŸ˜›πŸ˜›πŸ˜›

Am I funny for a stand up piece? Well I have seen people’s funny side come out when when they have downed a couple of tequillas…but am told that won’t work for me. My husband says am a sad drinker who whines and cribs and abuses the shit out of people. Not the kind of funny I imagine I wanna be…

Can I paint? Well sure. Ever since kindergarten, I have been painting a hut with fences and a tree and mountains in the background with a sun and some birds…but sadly I realize even my 7 year old nephew can draw that…it’s like the AbC of painting and clearly I haven’t progressed beyond that to reach XYZ.

Can I put up fitness videos to inspire others? Yeah why the hell not. All I have to do for it is to become fit. Piece of cake right?…rather no piece of cake. Watching fitness videos , promising to start working on them from ‘tomorrow’ while eating ice cream…hmm… probably not what one would expect in a fitness video. So that’ll have to wait. Not today. But Someday.

So, in desperate need of a real talent, I ponder hard ….and finally have decided..that if I don’t have any real talents then I am going to create them by trying out different things and then will see if I am any good..if I see some potential, I will work on it. If not, I have to find another. But I will try and try until I really find something I can claim to be a ‘talent’..

So for now, upon careful analysis and watching many many tutorial videos, I have shortlisted 3 talents that I am gonna try out.

First, I have decided to revamp my balcony mini garden…I decided it needed a dash of color and some glamor. So I added some new plants to the garden…welcome home babies ❀️❀️

Next up, I was really intrigued by glass painting. I am yet to start, even with the purchase of the paints. But it’s happening for sure.. For now, Motivating my husband to gulp some beer so that I can get the bottles to experiment on. Talk about an ideal wife.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Lastly, to my utter joy, I found out that if one wants to paint and play with colours, then thankfully you needn’t be a Van Gogh or da Vinci to pull it off. I came across these number by paint canvasses where all I need to do is apply colors on the canvas based on the numbers instructed. And in no time one can have a masterpiece to their credit. Genius.

Well that’s the plan for now. Let’s see how that goes. What about you? Have you ever gone looking around for a ‘talent’? Do tell. Waiting to steal your ideas incase mine falls flat. Just kidding. Or not. πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

In the pursuit of SELF LOVE!!

A few weeks back I was watching Sex And The City…and saw the scene where Samantha breaks up with her hot bf saying this:

I love you but I love me more. ~ Samantha Jones, Sex and the city.

So I have seen this before (yes coz am one of those who keeps watching things again and again) but suddenly this time it hit home. And it really got me thinking…We all love a lot of things or a lot of people….we love our parents, siblings,friends, Boyfriends, girlfriends,we love our homes,plants and on and on….but we often forget to love the most important person in our lives….ourselves.

If something in life doesn’t go as planned, we are always the first to blame ourselves. Why did I do this? What’s wrong with me? Why does this always happen to me? It must have been my fault. You get the thought process right? But when something goes right, we tend to give credit to everyone and everything but ourselves. We say things like ‘oh I just got lucky’ or ‘oh that other person really made it happen’…but we hardly ever say..even to ourselves…yes man you did it. You worked at it and you got it going..well done you. Am I right or wrong? But why is that?

Is it a personal trait or is it a more generalized thing that can be attributed to our society, our parents, childhood and our upbringing in general? What makes it such a common phenomena to easily loathe ourselves but hardly ever appreciate ourselves? Honestly I think it’s an amalgamation of all these things in varying proportions in each of our lives.

Whatever be the cause, the effect is this: we are conditioned to be self critical. Particularly for girls. We are always so critical of our looks, our appearance, our social standing,what our husbands and boyfriends think of us, what our friends think of us…. and these days we have an additional worry of our social media image (as if life wasn’t tough as it is). Always being vigilant to click pictures in angles that work best to hide our physical flaws. Why? What are we so afraid of? Body shaming? Bullying? Criticism? But we already do all that to ourselves anyways πŸ™„ . Then why is it so important what others think of us?

It’s perhaps because we are so conditioned to seeking others’ approval for self worth. And isn’t that the most bizarre thing? That we need to depend on someone else’s opinion of us to make us realize what we are. Who we are. And what’s our worth really. The more I thought about the twisted logic in this…the more I realized what a dumbass idea it really is. And what a big idiot I have been all this while. Well, I guess in that moment, the feisty spirit of Samantha took over me and I was determined to put an end to this. To stop craving any and evryone’s approval and seek my own. To be confident in my own skin and to take the reigns of my
Self worth in my own hands(ok that sounds dramatic πŸ˜›πŸ˜›) but I think you get the idea.

And well the good news is that this feeling,this attitude..it is reversible. It won’t happen overnight. You won’t wake up one fine day and stop seeking validation from others and be all mushy in self love.No. That’s not gonna happen (wish it did, though). It’s going to be hardwork, especially at the beginning, because it isn’t easy to suddenly change your attitude,your outlook and your approach to life that you’ve had for several years, perhaps decades. 
Some pointers that I found to be useful in this new found pursuit of self love that
I found to be particularly useful:

* Stop seeking validation from anyone.
* Be your ONLY and best judge.
* Spend time to asses yourself-your strengths, weaknesses and areas of improvement.
* Appreciate your strengths. Things that make you unique and loveable. And hold on to it no matter what.
* Identify weaknesses. Don’t be too harsh but am sure everyone has some flaws, some shortcomings. Identify them before giving a chance for someone else to point them out to you.
* make a list of areas of improvement. Some skills you might wanna learn or brush up or inculcate.
* be kind to yourself.
* Prepare a mantra that you can keep repeating to yourself to keep up the morale to keep going.
* And the most difficult but absolutely essential thing…learn to love yourself. JUST THE WAY YOU ARE (remember Bridget jones’ diaryπŸ˜›πŸ˜œ)

So next time you feel the blues and feel like you’re swimming in a sea of self pity and worthlessness… remember this ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup…take care of yourself first’.

Coz the ultimate truth is this….We are all one of a kind. Unique, Fabulous and Effing Awesome. ❀️❀️