Are we getting addicted to loneliness?🤔

Events in the past few days have made me contemplate a lot on this topic. Before I go on any further, let me tell you what triggered this chain of thought.

I mentioned in one of my earlier posts (2022 seems to be a mixed bag so far…) that we shifted to a new house. This apartment comes with facilities like a pool, table tennis, snooker setups etc. None of which, my husband or I have ever used in these past months. Weekdays are consumed with work calls, meetings, long hours of sitting in front of the laptop. The remaining time, we prefer to waste it with mindless scrolling on various social media platforms, binge watching and just keeping busy with our phones and laptops. Weekends are filled with household chores, lazing around, maybe going out for dinner or catching a movie or an occasional meet-up with the few old time friends we have. This is our life, especially in the post covid life. And as you can tell, this kind of life and lifestyle doesn’t really give us the opportunity to meet too many new people and get new friends. Or so I thought!! Turns out, that’s just a bullsh*t excuse.

And how do I know that? Well, my in-laws came over. They usually stay with us for a few months every year. And my father in law absolutely hates it. Not because he doesn’t like living with us, but because he feels extremely lonely and isolated here. No friends, relatives or acquaintances to talk to, to meet and catch up over a cup of tea. So he either spends time talking with them on calls or telling us stories about them. And so, while he stays with us, he literally counts days before he heads back home to ‘his people’. This is how things have been all these years.

But this time, it has been different. Our apartment has a table tennis and snooker board. I had seen senior people playing there (i have never joined in, coz I don’t know how to play either of them). So one day, i suggested to him to go and try it out. And he did. Initially, he was reluctant and hesitant. But gradually he started going pretty regularly. Came back and told me about meeting this person, talking to that person. It’s been a few weeks now, and today he has a ‘friend circle’ here. Mostly comprising of retired, senior people, much like him. They play a few rounds of Table tennis, take a walk in the park, sometimes just sit and talk about their past jobs, travels, kids, grandkids. But this daily interaction of an hour or so, has brought about such a huge change in my father in law. He is definitely more upbeat, eats on time so that he is light and agile when he goes to play. Comes back and shares some interesting anecdotes shared by his ‘friends’. I have even seen him practice his shots in the air, in front of the mirror. The same man who would always crib about staying with us, away from his friends and relatives is now thinking of moving in permanently with us!! Thats the power of friendship and human connections.

As happy as i am about this change in him, it’s also making me wonder about my dwindling friend list. My father in law has made more friends in a week than I have in the last 3-4 years. Not on social media. I have a pretty solid count there. I have over 500 followers each on all the social media platforms, who like and comment on all my pics that display my ‘happy life’. But I am talking about real time friends. Friends we meet with or speak to regularly on phone, WhatsApp, facetime etc. People who actually know about what’s going on in our lives and not just what we post online. I am talking about the friends who know of our struggles, our downfalls, our lows, stuff that don’t go up on our social media walls. And am afraid, that count of real, true friends is rapidly dwindling for me. 😔😔

I look at the other same aged person in the house. My husband. He has/had a lot of friends. Friends from school, friends from college, friends from each company he worked in. And he is in touch with a lot of them. And yet he complains that he has no friends to hang out with these days.

So why is it that two 30-something, friendly, social people have such an acute shortage of friends, while a retired 70 year old man can make friends so easily? Are things like lack of communication, time constraints, hectic lives to be blamed for this draught in our friend finding quest? Or does the fault lie in us? 🤔🤔

I think the fault definitely lies with us. We have stopped putting in the one thing that makes all the difference. Effort. We don’t put effort anymore to maintain the relationships that we have built during our lifetime. We don’t put effort to communicate, to reach out, to find out how they are doing. We just see posts from people and assume they are fine. That they are happy. We don’t take it upon ourselves to reach out and have a real heart to heart conversation. I dont know about you, but i definitely don’t. Except for a handful of people, I just don’t make an effort to be in touch.

I would normally blame it on my hectic and demanding job, erratic work hours, late nights, household chores. Even covid. But truth is, I am happy in my own space. My safe little cocoon where I am left alone. I hate to admit it, but truth is, with age and the ups and downs of life, I have found solace in solitude, peace in my own concocted world, I have ended up finding comfort in my loneliness.

But i wonder, is it just me or is it the same with others too? Looking around, i feel it’s not just me. We have a common friend who lives in the same city but despite several texts to plan and meet up, he never steps out. When asked, he says he is too busy. But how busy can a millennial, single guy be? Especially on weekends? 🤔🤔

Seems like, these days we are so engrossed in our own lives, our own problems, that slowly we are losing interest in others. We are losing touch with people, losing interest in reaching out to others, sharing our problems or in knowing about their troubles. We don’t want to share our own feelings, we don’t want to know others’ problems as well. We just want to be left alone. Left alone to ourselves. Immersed in our loneliness. And loneliness is addictive. Once you get used to it, it’s difficult to get back to mainstream social life. And that is a dangerous thing. Coz we are after all social beings and this kind of isolation cannot be the norm I suppose.

What do you think? Are we, as a generation heading towards an unhealthy obsession with loneliness? Is it going to be the new normal going forward or is it time we pull up our socks and get out of this before we are rendered incapable of forming meaningful social bonds? Would love to know what you guys think.

A deadly affair: A rock concert. ME. And Pneumonia!!

Well to be honest, i had been working on another post, but the events that have unfolded in the past few weeks compelled me to write this one. After all, who doesn’t like a dark, twisted tale of fate. So here goes.

About 2 weeks back, my husband was browsing a site to check out the list of upcoming music concerts in our city. To our surprise, one of our favourite Dj (an internationally renowned one with many many hits to his credit) was slated to perform on the 15th April in our city. As soon as we saw this, our excitement was palpable and we booked tickets then and there, as it was something on both our bucket lists (yeah, we are those who take the bucket list pretty seriously and strive to check off items and then maybe add some more). It was gonna be epic and we were excited and ecstatic about it.

Coincidentally, the day of the concert was also our new year..while most would spend the day in ethnic wear, preparing and eating traditional delicacies, we were gonna spend the day drinking beer, jumping and head banging!! So on the D- day, we headed off to the venue, super excited. The venue was all set for the rock concert. It was an open air concert, and when we reached, the weather was cloudy, breezy and all seemed just perfect. Until..

It started raining!! Yepp, a few hours into the show when some of the other DJs were playing, it started drizzling. Like i mentioned, it was an open air venue, with absolutely no shades to hide under. And who on earth ever carries an umbrella or raincoat to a rock show. Adrenaline was high. So were our spirits (quite literally if you know what I mean 😜🍻🍻). So like the 20,000 others present, we too got drenched in the rain, enjoying the thrill and fun of it all. Thankfully the rain stopped after a while, but not before we were drenched considerably. But the show continued. And so did our enthusiasm. The show went well. We enjoyed immensely. But trouble started when we were searching for a ride back home. No cabs. For a whole 2 hours!! It was way past midnight when we somehow managed to get a cab at an exorbitant rate and ride back home. The show was great. We had fun. Our day went very well. Or so I thought. 😑😑

But the very next morning, I felt feverish. Over the course of the next few days, i got high fever and was coughing incessantly. Things started going downhill. By the 4th day, I knew this was not a seasonal fever and a visit to the hospital was calling. I listened to my body and my mother’s frantic calls about taking it seriously and get medical attention. And so we went straight to the ER. Once there, they immediately observed my oxygen levels were dipping and I was put on oxygen support. Had to be admitted and spent the next few days on oxygen support with a gazillion tests being done. When the reports came back, the doctors were in for a shock. So were we. I had got a severe chest infection. ‘you got pneumonia’ they said.

If you remember, i had mentioned in my earlier post (read 2022 seems to be a mixed bag so far…) i was down with Covid in February. I had mild symptoms and recovered without any major issues then. But turns out, my tryst with covid then had weakened my already f**ked up immune system and now this ‘whole getting drenched in the rain + staying drenched for several hours+ cold breeze at late night’ combination culminated into this horrible mess and I ended up in my 2nd home..the hospital. 😫😵

As i lay in the hospital bed, breathing in the oxygen-for-hire, watching the tensed faces of my parents, the bewildered look on my husband’s face and the exhausted look on my doctor’s face (he has been dealing with my medical antiques for years now), i couldn’t help but wonder at the absurdity of it all. Out of the 20,000 people at the concert, all were drenched, most faced the same predicament with the unavailability of cabs while returning, did anyone else face such a situation wherein they ended up in the hospital with a near fatal infection?? Of course, i don’t know the answer to that. But something tells me, i am probably the only (un)lucky one to be in this situation!! And to think that I was dreading a hangover the next day. How stupid am I?? 🙄🙄

Well, by god’s immense grace and my mother’s incessant prayers, i am now out of the hospital, recuperating at home. Taking medicines, doing my breathing exercises. Hoping my lungs recover soon from this nasty infection and once again attain their former glory of being perpetually high (on oxygen)!! Might take a while but hope to get there soon enough.

So what has this bizarre turn of events taught me?

A) If there is a slightest chance of the weirdest shit happening, and i am in the vicinity, then it will definitely happen (coz, just my luck)

B) I am extraordinary, so are my health issues. So take no chances, and head to the ER at the earliest.

C) Always carry an umbrella to an open air event!! Or anywhere for that matter.

D) No matter what, keep the humour alive, even if that means laughing at your own misfortunes.

So That’s what was keeping me busy the past few weeks. Hope you guys had it better. Much love to ya’ll 💕💕

Every one has a story to tell 📒

Everyone has a story to tell,

Of the hardships they faced and the obstacles they overcame,

Of the times they triumphed and the times they failed.

Of the times they were misunderstood and took on the blame and the shame.

Everyone has a story to tell,

Experiences that have changed them in some ways.

Either pushed them in their cocoons or made them a rebel.

But who are you to judge, who are you to say?

Everyone has a story to tell,

Of the trials and tribulations that made them who they are,

Each have embarked on their own journeys of discovering what’s their heaven and hell.

They maybe different than you, but doesn’t give you the right to call them bizzare.

Everyone has a story to tell,

Of the person they once were and the one they are now,

Bid your age old notions and pre conceived judgements farewell,

Instead try to appreciate all they have endured and how.

If you really want to know,

Get to know their stories, get to know who they really are,

Don’t demean, don’t discriminate, don’t judge and stoop so low.

Be kind, be understanding, be their hero, be their superstar!!

We are often so quick to judge. Whenever we come across anyone a bit different than us, immediately, and probably subconsciously, we form an opinion about them. It could be hatred, dislike, or even pity. Frankly, none of that is acceptable. All we have to do is get to know them as people, listen to their stories, learn from their life lessons, get inspired by their journey and their resilience towards all challenges, learn to empathise and not sympathize and finally to wholeheartedly accept people as they are. We just have to train our mind to be less judgemental and to be more open, more thoughtful, more compassionate. It’s not that difficult. Do let me know your thoughts on this. 😊💖💖

New beginnings 🏠

So I have been MIA (missing in action) from here for a while. Although I have been trying to read up all your posts as much as possible, but really never managed to write up a post. Not coz I have run out of ideas. Infact my draft has a number of posts on various topics that I started but couldn’t finish writing. Simply coz I was occupied with a lot of other things. So today, I am determined to write up a post to let you guys know what’s cooking here.

Well a number of things have been happening simultaneously. Work is crazy (as always 😣🤬). I was staying with my parents for a few weeks, living the house to the ‘able’ care of my husband. Big mistake!!! It’s been a few weeks that I am back home and am still putting things back to where they belong. I mean, how difficult is it to make tea and then put the container back in its place??!! 😣😣 Anyways, I digress. This post isn’t a rant about the tidiness of my husband or rather the lack of it. I think I should write an entirely separate post about that 😛😛

Coming back to the topic, so we have been house hunting for a while. Not buying, we still can’t afford it + it’s too much of a stress financially and mentally. But we were hoping to find a nice house to rent, that would be a little better than the current one. After many many visits with the broker and seeing many houses, I think we have finally found one that matches the picture we had in mind. Nicely done interiors, 2 balconies for my plant babies, a big kitchen, nice cozy rooms. We instantly fell in love with the house. But like every other thing in my life, nothing goes smoothly without a few hurdles and setbacks. So turns out, the owner is busy and somewhat of a pompous ass. His behaviour was a big turn off, but then he stays overseas and we will hardly have to interact much with him. And the house was too good to let go. So we sucked up and went ahead. And in a few days time we will be shifting. Hoping this new beginning will prove to be a good move for us. Fingers crossed. 🤞🤞🏠

Next up, we have been really busy arranging the packing and moving. That included selling some of our old, way overused and worn out furniture. Now if you haven’t had any experience selling used furnitures online, let me tell you, it’s a real pain in the ass. There are more scammers that real buyers and we too had our brush with a few of them. Thankfully, my friends and family warned me of this and insisted that we do all transactions in cash. Since we are shifting in a few days, I put up all the stuff for sale at dirt cheap prices. Most people who showed interest or bought them were actually shop owners who would take them, refurbish and sell the same stuff at much higher prices.

However, one evening a young boy came with his father to pick up the centre table. Upon asking, he mentioned that they too have a furniture shop but however, this particular table, they were gonna take it home. Over the past years, we have used this table for so many tea and chitchat sessions, shared innumerable laughs and made some good memories chilling with friends and family. And hearing this, I couldn’t help but think of the many cups of tea they too will share over this table and the many memories they would probably create and remember years later. It was going to be a new beginning for the little boy as well as my beloved centre table. I hope it finds itself in a house where there is warmth, love and many conversations. Au revoir old friend.🥰

For the past few days, I have been thinking of pursuing another passion of mine. Traveling. Yes, the last 2 years have been a bummer for most of us, putting all the major travel plans on the back burner. But if things don’t get worse, hopefully we will be able to step out and explore the world again. I have had the good fortune of traveling to some amazing places so far, and have heaps of pictures with me. So I have finally decided to start an Instagram page for all my travel photos. Been quite busy with that lately, regularly updating the page and getting it started. Interacting with fellow travel enthusiasts and seeing breathtaking pictures. Also, getting to see some really interesting photography techniques on several such pages. So yes, I am learning a lot and really liking the process of it. Looking forward to this new beginning.📸😊😊

So this is my new Instagram handle: Gibberishsayshello

Do take a look and let me know what you think of it. Will look forward to your feedback, my lovely WP fam 💝💝.

Some motivation for myself. Hope it inspires you as well. 😊😊

My Top 5 GO-TO Quotes 💡💕

Words have an impact on all of us…I guess that’s why so many of are here, writing, reading, learning. Because words leave an impression. They can make us happy, they can make us sad, they can make us nostalgic, and even enrage us at times. They can also inspire us, motivate us, or definitely make us think and reflect. These words can be lines from a poem, dialog from a movie, or even a quote said by famous personalities or one made famous by popular culture.

So in this post, I thought I will share some of my favourite quotes, which I carry with me in my heart and remind myself of, whenever needed. Here goes.

1. PEOPLE WILL NEVER TRULY UNDERSTAND SOMETHING UNTIL IT HAPPENS TO THEM.

I truly believe that for someone looking outside in, they can never really understand exactly what you’re going through. Especially, if they haven’t been in the same or atleast similar circumstances. At best, They can try to understand, they can sympathize, they can empathize. But no-one will really know the storm brewing in your mind, body or heart unless they have been in the exact same situation. And if you see it logically, it kinda makes sense too. How can anyone know a certain feeling or a certain pain when they haven’t experienced anything close to that themselves. So it will be wrong on my part to even expect that. So when I am going through some major shit and someone (with good intentions), says stuff like ‘I understand’, or ‘I feel you’, when I know they have no clue what it feels like, earlier my inner voice would be like ‘No dude, you don’t understand, you have no idea what it’s like, so don’t talk shit and Shut the F*** up 😡🥊’. But remembering this quote restores the zen in me and makes me say ‘Thanks🙏😊’ instead. Saves some pretty nasty fights I’d say.

2. DON’T COMPARE YOUR LIFE TO OTHERS. THERE’S NO COMPARISON BETWEEN SUN AND THE MOON. THEY SHINE WHEN IT’S THEIR TIME.

Most of us have this terrible habit of comparing ourselves with others. Could be comparison of looks, health, wealth, good fortune et al. And end up feeling terrible seeing others doing so well while we are heading nowhere. I am guilty of this too. But when I came across this quote, it really made me realise that each of us have our own journeys, our own struggles and our own time to shine and thrive. It’s really not fair to compare myself to someone more successful (for example) when I have no idea how hard that person must have worked to get there. And that he/she must have struggled way more than me to achieve what they have got. So all I have to do is remind myself that now is their time to shine. If I have a goal and work towards it, tomorrow will be my time to shine.🌞🌞

3. LET IT HURT, LET IT BLEED, LET IT HEAL, LET IT GO.

We all get hurt, either by people or our circumstances. Holding onto those grudges only makes us bitter and cynical. It keeps us from being happy or content. So whenever anything or anyone Hurts me, I give myself some time to process it, maybe even cry it out and then to eventually try to let go of the emotional baggage coz it really serves me no purpose dragging it around and getting bogged down by the pressure of it. Of course it doesn’t come so easily always. But then we are all works in progress, aren’t we? So I keep telling myself this: Let Go and Break free. 🙂

4. WE’RE ALL IN THE SAME GAME; JUST DIFFERENT LEVELS. DEALING WITH THE SAME HELL; JUST DIFFERENT DEVILS.

I just love this quote. We are all going through some difficulties or the other, maybe we don’t know it, we don’t realise it. But we are. Every one has their own devils to deal with. So no judgement, no comparison. Just keep going. Life is one big complicated mess and we are all riddled with some trouble or the other. Do your best, face your own challenges, try your hardest to overcome them and move ahead. So even in our bad times, we are not alone. Someone might be having it better right now, but some others are going through worse. Always remember that.

5. THIS TOO SHALL PASS

Saved my most favourite quote for the last. I derive a lot of strength from this one. Whenever I am low, I keep telling myself this, over and over again. Nothing is permanent. Bad times don’t last forever. They will give way to better days and happier times. Just be patient and sail through the storm. Have faith in your heart. Know that This too shall pass. 💗💗

So these were my 5 favourite quotes that give me strength, courage and hope. I hope they resonate with you all. What are your favourite quotes? Please share in the comments. I’d love to read them and maybe add to my list of favourite quotes.

Stay strong. Be happy. Love to you all 💕💕💕💕