Cloudy.

It’s a cloudy day today,
And so is my mood.
Some things don’t feel right,
While others still feel good.

It’s just one of those days when I sulk and brood,
If you rub me the wrong way I can even be rude,
I feel like hiding under my hood,
Today, just today, just stop messing with me dude.

Reflecting on the things I have to do and the things I should,
Realize nothing much of that will happen, if to meetings and deadlines I remain glued,
If only the fretting and overthinking stopped, if only it could,
I know that would help a great deal in getting me out of the woods.

I need a generous dose of happiness,
To feel better, to uplift my grumpy mood,
Can chocolate do the magic? Hell it sure could.
Suddenly I hear it…a faint thunder roll in the distance…and a few precious raindrops on the window pane,
And I know for sure..God has rewarded me with an instant feel good. πŸ™‚πŸŒ§οΈβ›ˆοΈ

Long distance Friendship…

Let me start by saying that this is NOT a review of ‘Firefly Lane’, the latest drama series from Netflix, but rather about my experience while watching it- the many flashbacks, the many reflections and contemplations…in short this post is about my personal experience with the series.. however there might be some spoilers so if you haven’t seen it and want to see it, then perhaps you should come back after watching and that way I am sure you will be able to relate to it much more.

So this is a story about a chance encounter between 2 teenaged girls. Two people Who couldn’t be more different. While one is the school hottie, the other is a total nerd (loved her oversized glasses πŸ€“) and how gradually they become best friends for life. The series unfolds in 3 timeframes starting from their teenage years, to their 20s all the way upto their 40s..giving us a peak into their lives and personalities and how they grow and evolve with time.

Note: To all of you who are 70’s and 80’s kids…man I envy you….that was such a cool time to be a young adult… rebellious and free and ready to take on the world 😎😎

The story delves into several sensitive issues such as homosexuality and the social stigma around it which is still prevalent today, drug abuse, difficult pregnancies, infidelity,mid life crisis, office politics, exploitation at workplace, sibling rivalry, generation gap between parents and children especially teenagers, loss of a loved one, grief and how different people cope with it differently. All of these issues are woven seamlessly into the story and dealt with maturely and sensitively. Yet at the heart of it, it’s a story about friendship and how truly important it is in our lives.

The series made me reflect on my friendship with my best friend. Just like the 2 protagonists, we couldn’t be more different. She is fiercely independent and ambitious, determined to achieve great things, while I am more easy going, laid-back. My talent for procastrination is legendary. She can vouch for that πŸ˜‚. Watching the series took me back in time, remembering the first time I met my bestie in 6th grade. Never thought we would be friends, let alone be best friends even after all these years. It reminded me of all the crazy things we would do like bunking classes and secretly chilling at the bottom of the stairs. Oblivious to the world and the teacher’s wrath. It reminded me of the dire need to discuss each and every miniscule thing with her. Praying for her to approve and get along with the boyfriend in college. Discussing and dissecting every fight, every heart break, every family gossip. Just pouring my heart out to her. Coz, as different as we were and still are, she gets me. She understands me like no other.

However, as I binge watched the whole series over the weekend, there was one thing I envied about their friendship. One thing they didn’t have and we do. Distance. Coz we have spent majority of the 2 decades of friendship living in different countries. Although that hasn’t stopped us from being there for each other during the good times and the bad. No. Never. We have always been an integral part of each others’ lives. Breakups, college, marriage, sickness, jobs..we have been with each other during all such milestone moments. But it’s the little things that we miss out on. Like if one of us had a shitty day at work, we can’t meet up, vent and then forget the blues while watching a chick flick together. If I am feeling low, I can pick up the phone and talk to her but I won’t get to hug her and feel the world is not so bad after all. If she had a bad day, I can only say ‘it will be okay’, but I can’t give her a surprise visit with her favourite food to cheer her up….I realized that we indeed do miss out on these little, precious moments ☹️☹️

Firefly lane may have its flaws but one thing it does get right..is the portrayal of friendship…it will make your heart crave for a friendship as strong as theirs. And if you are fortunate enough to have such a friend, it will make you love and value them even more. And if they are far away, it will make you reach out for your phone to call them and talk to them and tell them how much you love them. πŸ’•πŸ’•

Here’s one of my favourite quotes on friendship from the film Bride wars…which I also quoted on her wedding day 😊

The first bloom πŸŒ·πŸŒ·

To say that the last few days have been hectic is truly an understatement. Work has been all consuming, draining off every morsel of energy out of me. So much so, that I have been unable to blog as I just didn’t know what to write. I thought of writing about my hell of a work life. But then I realized it would be more of a ramble and would probably end up cursing my manager and using all kinds of profanities. But then who doesn’t have a boss to hate and bitch about. I guess many of you will have the same experience and wouldn’t want to be reminded of the same here. I mean this is our happy space and I didn’t want to give her an entry here (but I guess I already kind of have, haven’t I?). And what’s really the point. it’s not like she will read it and decide to stop her rampage of my mental peace.

So thats me most days, angry, frustrated, irritated (ask my husbandπŸ˜›), just pissed off for having to put up with a menace of a manager.

These days it’s become somewhat of a habit. As soon as I wake up, I run to the balcony. To see my beautiful plant babies. Basking in sunlight. Enjoying the chill in the morning breeze. Just watching them alive and thriving just gives a me a certain sense of peace and tranquility. So normally, I just stand in the balcony for a few minutes. starting the day with them. Watering them. Sometimes even talking to them. Sitting and soaking in the sun together. However today morning, I was in for a pleasant surprise.

My beautiful plant baby had this gift for me….the first bloom..and that too…a double whammy…

The unadulterated joy I felt , I possibly cannot put in words. To see all the hard work and care and nurturing..finally come to fruition..it was a joy, a Victory and a celebration for me alone to enjoy and savour. I sipped my morning tea watching the beautiful bloom. Determined to shower more care and nurture them so that they continue to bloom and bear more flowers. It energised me. And prepared me for another grueling day at work.

Love for the night….

There is something so beautiful about the night,
That an early bird might never understand..
The night is silent, the night is peaceful,
The night is often like a dream and seldom a fright.

Night is like a beautiful silhouette,
When dreams unfold,
And come to life…
When your true creativity comes to light.

When all is quiet and peaceful,
And you have all the the time to think and ponder,
Free from all the daily stress,
The night time is indeed beautiful.

When all are asleep,
And you have all the time to yourself,
To do what you want,
To let your creativity leap.

Night time is indeed the best time of the day,
When others are fast asleep and you’re fully awake,
To enjoy the silence and tranquility,
And to keep all the stress away.

My Quest for a new ‘Talent’

Ever since the earth completed another revolution and we moved into 2021, I have been doing some introspection…mainly pertaining to my ‘talents’…. probably coz I off late I have been seeing lot of people posting pictures proudly displaying their talents whether it’s singing or dancing , knitting, painting, fitness or even stand up comedy….so that got me thinking..what are my talents?? πŸ€”πŸ€”

Now whenever anyone asks me that, I very proudly and honestly tell them that my talents are sleeping, lazing around and binge watching Netflix..but then, come on, even I know they are not real talents these are not really talents.. certainly not ones I can display for the world to see and admire…so I go back to contemplate this basic question…what are my talents?

Can I dance? Well if you consider Chandler a good dancer, I guess am as good as him then πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

Can I sing? Well am definitely a bathroom singer…but then who doesn’t sing in the shower. And the point of that is no one’s listening. But in public though I guess I won’t be much better than Janice serenading Chandler (yes ok maybe I should stop giving F.R.I.E.N.D.S references) but I guess it suffices to say that singing in public is definitely not my thing..and won’t be yours too if you are Listening πŸ˜›πŸ˜›πŸ˜›

Am I funny for a stand up piece? Well I have seen people’s funny side come out when when they have downed a couple of tequillas…but am told that won’t work for me. My husband says am a sad drinker who whines and cribs and abuses the shit out of people. Not the kind of funny I imagine I wanna be…

Can I paint? Well sure. Ever since kindergarten, I have been painting a hut with fences and a tree and mountains in the background with a sun and some birds…but sadly I realize even my 7 year old nephew can draw that…it’s like the AbC of painting and clearly I haven’t progressed beyond that to reach XYZ.

Can I put up fitness videos to inspire others? Yeah why the hell not. All I have to do for it is to become fit. Piece of cake right?…rather no piece of cake. Watching fitness videos , promising to start working on them from ‘tomorrow’ while eating ice cream…hmm… probably not what one would expect in a fitness video. So that’ll have to wait. Not today. But Someday.

So, in desperate need of a real talent, I ponder hard ….and finally have decided..that if I don’t have any real talents then I am going to create them by trying out different things and then will see if I am any good..if I see some potential, I will work on it. If not, I have to find another. But I will try and try until I really find something I can claim to be a ‘talent’..

So for now, upon careful analysis and watching many many tutorial videos, I have shortlisted 3 talents that I am gonna try out.

First, I have decided to revamp my balcony mini garden…I decided it needed a dash of color and some glamor. So I added some new plants to the garden…welcome home babies ❀️❀️

Next up, I was really intrigued by glass painting. I am yet to start, even with the purchase of the paints. But it’s happening for sure.. For now, Motivating my husband to gulp some beer so that I can get the bottles to experiment on. Talk about an ideal wife.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Lastly, to my utter joy, I found out that if one wants to paint and play with colours, then thankfully you needn’t be a Van Gogh or da Vinci to pull it off. I came across these number by paint canvasses where all I need to do is apply colors on the canvas based on the numbers instructed. And in no time one can have a masterpiece to their credit. Genius.

Well that’s the plan for now. Let’s see how that goes. What about you? Have you ever gone looking around for a ‘talent’? Do tell. Waiting to steal your ideas incase mine falls flat. Just kidding. Or not. πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

Introvert or Extrovert?? πŸ€”

Unless you’re living under a rock, am sure you all must be well acquainted with Facebook and the many varied quizzes that come up in your feed…what’s your spirit animal, which character of game of thrones are you, are you a hills or beach person, which character from Friends sitcom do you resemble the most, how good is your grammar, which celebrity will be your ideal partner (please let it be Ryan Gosling😍)… etc etc…I have done and enough and more of such stupid quizzes in the past for some time pass and these days I am done with them and skip right through them…after all they are just frivolous and hardly make sense. However last night, I came across a quiz ‘Are you an introvert or Extrovert?’ that piqued my interest and I decided to give it a go.

But this time I was in for a surprise. Each question was on the lines of ‘would you rather do this or that’, ‘do you prefer this over that’. And the options given were such that I just couldn’t make up my mind. And that’s wierd right..coz you are either this or that…you are either a very bubbly, talkative person who is a delightful social presence or just the idea of meeting so many people makes you feel sick in the stomach and you would rather just curl up in a blanket with a good book and a steaming cuppa coffee. But when I looked at the given options, I was like ‘damn I wanna do all those things, which one do I select??’ πŸ€”πŸ€”

It might sound funny, but for a few minutes, these questions baffled me so much and made me scratch my head and almost gave me an existential crisis…that if I couldn’t answer such a basic question about myself, of whether I am an introvert or Extrovert, then how do I answer the more serious questions like Who am I? What Am I? πŸ˜–πŸ˜£πŸ˜³πŸ˜¨

Because the thing is, that as an outsider, if you meet me you will definitely consider me an extrovert. And rightly so. I love talking. And like to engage in conversation. Which is why it sometimes infuriates me when 100 words out of me just invokes a ‘hmm’ or an ‘OK’ from my husband 🀬😣. It just kills my vibe and makes me scowl and fume. Anyways, coming back to the topic, whether it borders on office gossip or some family scandal or just any random discussion on politics, weather, life in general, I am always ready to chip in with my words of wisdom πŸ˜‡. And it really doesn’t matter if I know you from kindergarten or we just met 2 minutes ago…I am equally at ease (unless you’re some hottie trying to hit on my husband…then you get my scowl rather than my dazzling smile πŸ™„πŸ€¨πŸ˜•). I so look forward to the occasional nightouts with us pub hopping, dancing away till the wee hours (I am talking about pre covid times here). Now all these things are textbook definition of an extrovert, and that’s what I always considered myself to be.

However, there is also a less publicised side of me, that’s quieter, loves the solitude, spending time with just myself without talking to anyone, having important conversations in my head about the significant as well as the trivial. Soaking up the quietness, the peace and tranquility. Ideally, that’s what early mornings feel like (so am told, I have no idea πŸ˜›), but for me it’s the silence of the night when it’s past everyone’s bedtime. That’s my time to thrive. To read, to blog, to make imaginary travel plans, to think about life, career, family, Friends, myself. To reflect on the past, think of the present and contemplate the future. Sometimes, even during the day, I might be in such a mood where I would happily pass off an offer to check out the latest pub or cafe as I don’t feel like bantering away. And prefer a day out just with myself. Lazing around. Listening to my favourite songs. Just enjoying my own company to recharge and rejuvenate. Now isn’t that textbook definition of an introvert? πŸ€”πŸ€”

Hence, you can get an idea of the confusion in my mind when I had to pick between options like would you rather go on a vacation with friends (oh! Yes please) or spend a few days lazing around at home doing whatever the hell you want (this one sounds tempting too)…both choices I would pick happily but which one to select?

So my question is this? Are we strictly either an extrovert or an extrovert? Is a middle ground possible in this case? That one day I am an extrovert and an introvert on the other depending on my current mood? Isn’t branding myself to be one be an insult to the other , which is also as much a part of my personality?

So I resort to everyone’s favourite agony aunt- Google of course!! And I came to know this very reassuring fact.

So seems am not a wierdo and THERE IS a term that aptly describes my personality type…AMBIVERT.

Yayyyyyy πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ.

But Wouldn’t it be wonderful if these stupid quizzes weren’t so stupid and actually gave us a clearer picture like you are x% extrovert and y% introvert and avoided such confusion that makes me scratch my head at 3 AM? Is that too much to ask from a mere algorithm that’s basically just interested in footfall to count how many people opt to take the quiz, nevermind the authenticity of the results? Well, enough thought, enough said, enough done. I am not going to spend my precious time being caught up in this dilemma any longer. To these quizzes I say, ‘first you be more thorough in your analysis, be more accurate in your results, then you can expect me to take part in your quiz’. Until then, I will refrain from branding myself as either. Rather I will embrace both sides with equal joy. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ’•πŸ’•

New year resolutions for 2021…

The new year had a rocky start,
Ex bestie decides to make a comeback,
But over the years we have grown apart,
So in a reconciliation, total interest I lack.

Putting it behind me, I decide to move ahead,
Not too late for some new year resolutions,
So I make a list of things to cut down on, starting with bread.
Add a point to clear my head and deal with all the confusions.

This year I vow to be punctual,
Be more disciplined, follow a strict routine..
Early to bed, early to rise shall be my daily ritual.
Try to eat less sugar and definitely cut down on caffeine.

I resolve to go on a healthy diet and lose some weight,
Do yoga, exercise or atleast a brisk walk everyday,
Will indulge in more of self love and less of hate,
To feel bright and positive in every way.

Will do better time management,
To maintain a healthy work life balance,
Stand my ground against bossy temperament,
And not get frustrated and suffer in silence.

I will strive to blog more, read more,
To stir up more storms in the kitchen…

To pursue new hobbies after completing daily chores,

No matter what comes my way, I will maintain calm and become more zen.

These are some of the promises I make to myself this year,

Let’s see how much I accomplish.

Will try to live healthy, be happy and live without fear.

For 2021, that’s really my only wish.

BFF…Best friends (NOT) forever..

I thought I will start 2021 with a positive blog like a new year resolution list (don’t we all love listing out things none of which we will perhaps accomplish)…. but I guess that wasn’t meant to be… something happened or rather ‘someone’ happened that made me feel like I need to write about it, and vent out in the process…

In school, we were known as the 3 musketeers, always together and absolutely inseparable. Shared lunches, all our secrets, were witnesses to our first crushes, boyfriends, graduation. I knew in my heart that I had 2 lifetime friends in them and no matter time, distance or anything else, nothing could separate us.

But then….life happened…our education and later work lives took us to different places..we promised to keep in touch and made it a point to meet when in town and spend as much time as possible. But gradually such meetups reduced, lies, complexities and insecurities increased,issues and misunderstandings piled up. Two of us found some common ground and stayed best friends like before, while the third leg of the tripod slowly started giving away..growing more distant and almost became someone that I felt like I barely knew. And after a point, I just stopped trying to figure out what was going wrong. And gradually but surely enough, we drifted apart. And now, it’s been so long since we last met or spoke that we are as good as strangers. Isn’t that just sad. But alas that’s the way it is.

And over time, I made my peace with it. After all we were besties when we were young, immature and life was much less complicated. And now we have become such different people with such different lives. We have nothing in common anymore. We are as good as strangers.

However, things took an interesting turn at the start of the year. This erstwhile bestie suddenly raises hell and declares a comeback. Incessant calls, messages on every social media I use. It was like I was being stalked 24/7.

I ignored for a while. But then contemplated talking out things with her. If not for anything, but just to honour the friendship we once had. And maybe she had realised things and had changed as a person. So I did start replying to some of her messages. To start a conversation and see where it goes. But pretty early on in the conversation, especially when she said things like ‘i don’t even know why you’re pissed’, I realized she was oblivious to all that she had done, all the times she truly hurt me, all the times she lied to me, broke my trust, helped my ex cheat on me, the countless times she said things behind my back…even after all these years, she was oblivious to her wrong doings and never admitted to any of those things.

It didn’t take me long to realise that we really couldn’t go back to being what we were, because the very foundation of any good relationship is Trust. And if I can’t trust her completely, what’s even the point of being friends? So with a heavy heart and a clear conscience, I wished her well and requested her to let things be. But She wouldn’t listen to any of it. It was like she was on a mission to mend things. Maybe it was one of her new year resolutions that I was just not letting her tick off.

I remained firm in my decision. Her non stop messages and calls have since subsided. I wonder if I did the right thing. But God knows, I have enough shit on my plate to be able to handle her drama. Maybe at another time, at another juncture in life, I would have been more patient and forgiving. But At this point in time, I just don’t have the energy or the patience to deal with this once-best friend-now attention seeking stranger. But I sincerely do wish her well and hope she can check off the remaining items from her new year resolutions list. 😐😐

“Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I’m glad for that.” – Ally Condie

Blame it on 2020…

Imagine, in a family of four, where the parents are overachievers and the older bro is a monumental failure of epic proportions, who is considered by parents to be an useless worthless imbecile, capable of no good and you’re the little brother. The one on whom the entire family’s expectations lie. The one who is their last or rather only hope of fulfilling all their dreams, aspirations and making their lives enriched and better in every aspect.

I cannot, for the life of me imagine to be in the shoes of the younger brother. If I were, I’d run as fast as I could and hide where I can’t be found, rather than be in the spotlight where I will be upon constant scrutiny, where my every move will be watched with waited breath by the family, with all their hopes of a better future pinned on my fragile shoulders. Every step taken would be assessed if it’s in the right direction. Every little setback, every little failure will be blown out of proportion as though it’s the beginning of doomsday alright. Living under the tremendous pressure of such huge expectations, with the constant fear of disappointing the family, of not living upto expectations, of not being everything they hoped for, Of being a failure just like the elder brother, if not worse. It would be just too much to bear. Well thankfully I am not and will never be in that sitation (bless my folks, am an only child, so I have no competition. I set my own benchmarks of failures and keep surpassing it year after yearπŸ˜›πŸ˜›), but seems like poor 2021 aint so lucky and seems to be that little brother in the scenario.

Since today is the last day of the worst year in recent memory, social media is flooded with all kinds of memes, hashtags that wishes good riddance and a final goodbye at last to 2020 and how eagerly everyone awaits the start of 2021. It clearly shows how people are just done with this year 2020 and the shitload of troubles it brought with it. And considering all that we have witnessed this year, it’s hardly any surprise that we have developed this animosity towards the year. So much so, that whatever bad happens, we are always quick to blame it on the year. Not considering the fact, that on some level, we have only ourselves to blame. But no, why take responsibility for our own actions when we can conveniently blame it on the year. Whether it’s the covid-19 pandemic, bushfires in Australia, floods in Indonesia, an earthquake in Turkey, or anything unfortunate in any part of the world, all the blame has been pinned on 2020, declaring it to be the Satan’s year, even though most of these calamities have had human greed and interference to be blamed as the root cause. But why take the onus on ourselves and make amends for the damage done when we can conveniently pass the blame..and so ever since the year started to take a turn for the worse, the year 2020 has been dissed and slammed like no other..I even saw a video where a guy talks about being dumped by his girlfriend. She blames it on his infidelity. He blames it on 2020. 🀣🀣

2020 Are you done?

But what’s really amusing is to see how people are so convinced that the moment the clock strikes midnight, 2020 will disappear for good and on its way out,it will also take with it all the problems that came with it (or rather the ones we have accused it of bringing but was actually our own doing). As if by magic, all our troubles will go away. Corona will disappear as mysteriously as it appeared, bushfires will stop on their own. Locusts will retreat. flood water will drain out. Hurricane struck uprooted trees will get back to their former glory. Homeless will get back their homes. Jobless will get back their jobs. Sick will regain their health. How wonderful to imagine and hope that all this will happen by a mere change in date. If only life worked like that. πŸ˜πŸ€·πŸ€¨πŸ™„

Hope 2021

But I guess a little hope never did any harm. And honestly we don’t have much else to go on with at this point. So here’s hoping that 2021 ain’t such a badass, lives upto expectations and treats us well. Happy new year y’allπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

Happy new year from me and mine to you and yours ❀️❀️

Christmas..A Season Of Celebration and Gratitude.

Whether we like it or not, we are running a rat race with super busy and hectic lives. Thankfully, Christmas is that time of the year to connect and reconnect with friends and family. This gives us an opportunity to catch up with those who we may not get an opportunity to talk to as frequently as we would like. And trust me, it’s really wonderful, reminiscing the good ol’ days or just making all kinds of plans to meet soon. Whether or not that materialises is a different matter altogether. But no harm in planning exotic vacations or a much needed reunion. And sometimes during such conversations, some things come up that really force you to think long and hard about things.

One such thing happened when last night I had a long chat with my cousin sister. She lives in San Jose, California. During the hour long call she gave me updates about how their skiing trip was cancelled due to the lockdown enforced in light of the second wave of the pandemic. How for the first time in a really long time, they are celebrating Christmas at home all by themselves. How my niece who was so excited about experiencing college life is now forced to do online classes and is so bored at home that she is picking up new hobbies everyday. How my little nephew is inventing new games to play all by himself. She also mentioned that every year they raise money and buy all kinds of supplies like groceries and blankets and take them personally to the nearby shelters for the poor and less fortunate ones. Over the years, it’s become like a Christmas tradition for them and they make sure their kids help out and in the process know and appreciate how blessed they are. But this year, she mentioned how things were so different.

This year there were far more people queueing up outside the shelter…some had walked for miles to reach the venue, some had been living on the streets for days as they couldn’t find beds in any of the nearby shelters. This time she saw far more homeless families than usual. And upon talking to them, they came to know that most of them were in such dire straits due to loss of employment as many shops/factories/businesses had shut down due to the pandemic and the lockdowns imposed thereafter. Their limited savings were spent, now they were unable to pay their bills, house rent, school fees and were thus on the streets. Homeless. At their wit’s end trying to figure out their next meal. The plight of these families was so overwhelming for my sister that she decided to cut down on their own Christmas budget and extend some more help to these families. Even while narrating the incident, I could hear her choke up.

As for me, well for one, I couldn’t be more proud of her, as her little act of generosity surely would have gone a long way in helping someone in need. But it also got me thinking, if things are as bad as this in the world’s largest economy, then the situation is bound to be much much worse elsewhere. I just couldn’t get the thought out of my mind, of all these families who are jobless, homeless, penniless, with nowhere to go, nobody to turn to. How helpless they must feel. How hopeless the world must seem.

It really made my problems seem silly and inconspicuous in comparison. Made me realize how, so very often, we take things for granted. How ungrateful we are for the things we have. How much we complain and crib about not getting things that we don’t even need.

Yes, this year has been different. It’s been a year like no other. Life has been hectic, chaotic. Life has been mundane, unpleasant. The world out there is unsafe. We are in the grips of an unknown, invisible enemy. We are all living in fear, uncertainty, anxiety. In short, in the past year, life has been difficult and not much has happened to be thankful for.

But we must remind ourselves, that if we have a roof over our head, food on our plate, a warm bed to sleep in, enough money to pay our bills and the love of our near and dear ones, then that’s enough and more reason to be grateful and thankful this Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all πŸŽ…β˜ƒοΈπŸŽπŸŽ„β€οΈπŸ˜€

Christmas is forever,
Not for just one day.
For loving, sharing, giving,
Are not to put away.
Like bells and lights and tinsel,
in some box upon a shelf.
The good you do for others,
Is good you do yourself.

Norman W. Brooks

Life in the times of Corona…

Gone are the days when we could be happy and free,

Now home quarantined is all we can be,

Applying sanitizer, wearing face mask,

This is now the most important task.

Life was once so busy, commuting to work, all the traffic,

Now they seem like sweet memories, which once felt truly horrific.

Weekends were for socializing, to go out to wine and dine,

Now all days feel the same, sitting in front of the laptop pretending to be Miss sunshine.

But am not complaining,

Probably just reminiscing,

How different our lives used to be,

And how much it has changed, for our safety I agree.

But we must still be grateful,

For being healthy than sick is far more beautiful.

Thankful that we still have family and friends,

Whom we shall soon meet, once this pandemic ends.

Here’s hoping that day comes soon,

When we remember this time as a boon.

Until then, hang in there with some patience,

With the belief that our old normal will soon commence.

β€œI don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.” – Anne Frank

Winter is here…

Winter is here,

With snow covered landscapes spread far and near,

‘Tis The season of joy and cheer,

Ho! Ho! Winter is here.

It is time to reflect on the past year,

To take a good, hard look at the scars beneath the happy veneer,

To look back at all the situations which made us feel defeated and shed tears,

To count the accomplishments and all times we overcame our fears.

And to count the blessings bestowed upon us this leap year.

Finally it is that time of the year,

To make plans with the near and dear,

To eat candies and deck up in festive wear,

To drink hot cocoa and smile from ear to ear,

To be ready to welcome Santa and all his reindeers!!

With renewed hope and vigour, joy and cheer, it’s time to welcome the new year!!

Rebirth…

The other day I got some beautiful marigolds for decorating the house…once the celebrations were done and the flowers had served their purpose (guess I’d like to believe that, rather than it actually being true)..the idea dawned upon me…rather than throwing it away in the garbage, why don’t I put it back where it came from…the soil…so I put these flowers in the mud inside a small glass pot and began my daily routine of watering and careful monitoring of the progress if any (as I honestly wasn’t too optimistic about my gardening skills)..

For the next few days, I was a keen observer…carefully assessing if there is any development. Any signs of change in the soil or the sight of a slender, young green shoot popping its way out of the soil. No luck. When this continued for almost a week or so, honestly I was quite disheartened. My first attempt at gardening (or rather creating a new plant from old flowers) seemed to be a very obvious failure. Searches on YouTube showed how things had to be done with some technicalities in mind, which obviously I didn’t do..so I guess my optimism was running out.

However, I kept watering the soil..just in case…And imagine my surprise, when suddenly, probably after 2 weeks or so after starting off on this experiment, I see tiny young stems making their way out of the soil…talk about little things giving immense joy…that never felt more true…I had not only become an ace gardener (ok, yes I know am really exaggerating, but what the heck..pat on my back nevertheless πŸ˜›πŸ˜›), but i also felt exhilarated that those dried up withered flowers (which I probably would have thrown away) were now going to blossom into beautiful flowers yet again…isn’t that what we call Rebirth…the miracle of nature?? 😊😊

This simple feat (yes I insist on calling it that) left me with several profound realisations… first being ‘Not to give up’..if I had stopped watering them midway seeing no progress, these little shoots would have literally never seen the light of day. That reamphasized the virtue of Patience (I tend to run out of it from time to time). It also reaffirmed my belief that its not always about being technically correct. Listening to your heart can also be equally fruitful. And most importantly, it gave me new sense of respect for the Cycle of life itself…we too are just like these flowers….we grow, we blossom, we thrive, we perish into the ground..only to be reborn again….just like these flowers, we too are eternal.

  • β€œSometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person.” …

Now am just going to continue to shower my love and care (and of course other basics such as water and sunlight) to make sure these tiny leaves and shoots can grow stronger roots and eventually fill the pot with beautiful flowers. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’

My fixation with….Christmas Rom-Comsβ›„πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘¨

I must admit, I haven’t been very active on WP for past few days…work has been really hectic with very long hours..together with household chores..it leaves me so drained, that in my spare time, I do not feel like using even one grey cell by blogging or even reading all the interesting blogs posted by my WP friends…so what do I do instead? Hitting the treadmill? No. Exercising? No. Doing anything constructive at all? No. None of that. Instead, I have been using this precious free time (usually at night when the world around is fast asleep) to binge watch atleast one Christmas ROM com every night!!

Must admit, I have always had a thing for ROM coms or what guys usually refer to as ‘chick flicks’…the liking started way back in high school…and that’s quite understandable. Because I was young and full of dreams and totally in love with the idea of love…and I thought, that once I ‘grow up’, eventually I will grow out of it and get more real and watch more of the realistic genre ..And to some extent I have…I do enjoy binge watching ‘serious’ stuff like documentaries or mysteries and thrillers…but turns out, I am yet to grow out of the fondness for all things mushy and all things ‘Christmas-y’. And, going by the number of such films I have watched in the past few weeks, I am scared it may have turned into a full blown obsession…almost like an addiction..the need and the compulsion to fulfill the daily quota of mush (is that even a thing??!!) πŸ™„

Infact, these days I spend about 10 minutes each day to search for more of these Chritmas romcoms and add it to my Netflix list, so that when I finally sit down to watch a film, I can just browse through the list and pick one right away. On the odd days that my husband is in the mood to watch something light hearted and casual at night, I snatch the remote and start off with one of my previously selected films (before he changes his mind), in the hope of dragging him into this obsession right along with me 🀭🀭. Work in progressπŸ˜‰.

If you think I am exaggerating, here’s the list of the last few films I saw: Christmas made to order, Princess switch, Christmas wish, Christmas inheritance, Christmas tale, Holidate, Knight before Christmas, Christmas prince, Christmas wedding, Christmas royal baby, Christmas wedding planner, Christmas wonderland, Christmas with a view, Christmas Inn, Operation Christmas drop….I could go on an on…see my point?? πŸ™„πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

All images from Google

And I do agree, most of them have fairly similar storyline… nothing that you haven’t seen before…throw in a cute bubbly girl, a heartbroken, brooding, serious but oh-so-handsome dude in a picturesque little town all decked up for Christmas πŸŽ„, they meet, they disagree, they fight and eventually end up falling in love and kissing under the mistletoe…and yet I never seem to get bored of it and watch with rapt attention as if I don’t know what’s gonna happen in the end..silly much??

I usually watch a few series (of different genres) simultaneously. But these days, they are all on hold. Coz who cares about political scandals, high school mysteries, marvel and DC shit…when Christmas is round the corner and I still have so many Christmas ROM coms waiting to be seen!! πŸŽ…β›„πŸ˜›β€οΈπŸ˜Š

Ps. What’s your favourite Christmas ROM com? Do share in the comments. And, If you have some suggestions, pls do suggest..I will add it to my Must-watch-ASAP-list for sure πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

THE 7 SINS.

The 7 Sins
Man….the Sinner

When God created Adam and his breed,
It was HIS best creation indeed,
For man was supposed to love, nurture and take care of Mother Earth in times of need,
But instead ended up causing massive destruction..all thanks to his GREED.

Man waged wars, built factories, cut down trees, killed flocks, fellow humans died,
Death, destruction, pollution spread far and wide,
God believed Man would mend his ways and ask God to be his guide,
But Man forgot the Master, started thinking of himself as the greatest entity…all due to his PRIDE.

Seeing others flourish and prosper made his heart heavy,
Made him utter profanities not one but a bevy,
He had enough and more, but still wanted to own more and many,
Never realising this would one day lead to his downfall…this sin we call ENVY.

Despite God’s best intentions, Man has always been on a downward path,
Driven by hatred and revenge, Man has caused many a bloodbath,
Never once bothering to look back at the aftermath,
He could have made some amends, if not for his all consuming WRATH.

It can be safely concluded upon careful scrutiny,
It is as important for Man to feed his ego as his tummy,
He has an appetite for all things greasy and carnivorous that can be bought with money,
That’s a sin too..the one we call GLUTTONY.

God watches with shame and disgust,
As he sees Man seek pleasure outside of sacred bonds, giving reasons for mistrust,
Faith, love, loyalty, committment all turning to dust,
Yet Man always succumbs… to his LUST.

He could have taken an oath, 
To mend ties with the people he used to once loathe,  
To show that he is capable of change, capable of growth,  
But alas, it keeps him right where he is..all due to his SLOTH.


The seven deadly sins, also known as the capital vices, or cardinal sins, is a grouping and classification of vices within Christian teachings…I suddenly chanced upon it (after watching a film by the same name as the title of my poem)…It got me intrigued and I looked it up a bit (thanks Google)…and I have just attempted to interpret it in my own way…please feel free to share any suggestions/corrections. πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘

F.E.A.R

There are so many F words that come to my mind,
Of them the most omnipresent would be FEAR,
To this emotion I seem to have completely resigned,
It grips me completely when at night even the slightest sound comes to my ear.

When was the last time I lived without it,
I honestly don’t remember.
I ponder hard and suddenly it hit,
It was few years back till before September.

That was the time when fear gripped me harder than ever,
It paralyzed me and made me go numb,
After that, it became permanent and  left me never..
It surpasses everything else and makes all the other emotions and me totally dumb.

As much as I may try to think past it,
And divert attention elsewhere,
This constant fear makes me beat,
No matter where I look or turn my gaze, I always feel it lurking ….oh it’s just right there.

Fear of losing, fear of trying new things, fear of enjoying too much,
The constant paranoia…I can’t even begin to tell,
It basically holds me back from doing anything wild and adventurous as such,
Here’s hoping one day I can conquer it and bid it a final farewell.. And tell it to go to HELL.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

It’s amazing how the smallest things sometimes trigger memories from the past, flash moments from days gone by and takes you back in time. Something similar happened the other day as I sat down in front of the TV and while surfing channels, suddenly a movie being aired in one one of the movie channels caught my attention.

As the title suggests, the name of the film playing on was called Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is a 1968 musical adventure fantasy film, directed by Ken Hughes with a screenplay co-written by Roald Dahl and Hughes, loosely based on Ian Fleming‘s novel Chitty-Chitty-Bang- Helpmann, and Gert FrΓΆbe.

Poster of the film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

The film released many years before I was born. And I was introduced to this musical family with a magic car by my grand father. It was probably the first film I had seen or maybe the first one I remember watching and loving. If you ask me today how much of it I understood as a toddler, then I would perhaps say…. not much..but I do vaguely remember being amused by this family singing, dancing and flying off in a custom made, very cool car. But what remains etched in my mind till this day..is the image of me and my grandpa enjoying the film together. And the camaraderie I shared with him even as a toddler.

I sat there watching the film…trying to recall the storyline…didn’t remember much… instead was taken back in time…to the time I spent with my grand father and the many memories I had with him over the years…how he would smoke his much beloved cig and explain the workings of the world and I would just sit there, listening intently, soaking it all up and truly enjoying his words of wisdom and loving him for being the most doting grandpa one can have…it was truly a walk down memory lane..And the movie was just as enjoyable this time as well..😊😊

Friendship

Friends and friendships are of many types.
Some you meet later in life, some early, while in school,
Of them, some are sweet, some caring, most are fools, and only a few cool,
Social media ones? They are mostly fake and just plain hype.

School friends are like sunshine bright,
They don’t judge, they don’t tease,
With them you can share your darkest secrets with ease.
So even if you have just one of them, hold them tight.

School friends – If you have friends who are as weird as you, then you have everything….

College friends are witness to your metamorphosis- from the shy geek to the confident rockstar,
Ragging, bullying, crush, kiss- they have been witness to all your firsts,
Spending together countless sleepless nights studying, partying and gulping beer to quench thirst.
So whenever you miss them, just meet up and hit the bar.

College Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans. …

Work friends are the newest ones,
At first, it’s a struggle to filter out the crowd to find a good one in the muddy pond,
Bitching about bosses during breaks builds the strongest bond,
Fun, frolic and banter continues until the ‘most discussed one’ returns..

Work friends- Chance made us colleagues but the fun we had made us friends..

And then there are some bonuses,
Meet a random person when you least expect,
Get talking and immediately you sense a heartfelt connect,
Who cares if you just met in the park or in one of the cafΓ©s….

Happiness is when you make unexpected, new friends…

So, no matter when, no matter how…
If you’re lucky to find a true friend, never let them go..
Even if you have a fight and behave like a foe,
It’s never too late. Just pick up the phone, say sorry and start over…. NOW !!


Dedicated to all my friends…old and new…to the ones still in my life…just wanna say ‘I love you’..to the ones I left far behind…I hope we get a chance to start over. 😊

Happiness v/s Sadness..who wins??

The other day, while talking to my mother-in-law, she told me “dear, you have been living in isolation at home for the past 6 months, you must make phone calls and talk to people more often. Call your friends, cousins..just talk to them regularly about anything that’s bothering you and which you can’t discuss with us oldies. It’s always good to get things off of your chest”. I know it was a well intended piece of advice from someone who cares a great deal, but as if on autopilot mode, pat came the reply “No thank you, I don’t need to share my problems with anyone”. The reply was brazen and there was an uncomfortable, awkward silence for a few seconds before I said “I am fine. Really. Don’t worry”, in an effort to get past this awkward juncture in the conversation.

Truth be told, the sheer bluntness of my reply caught me by surprise. And am sure it surprised her as well. Because, anybody who knows me, sees me as a bubbly, cheerful, talkative individual. And it is true. I am that. I am comfortable talking non stop, even with strangers!! I love socializing, meeting people, be it family or friends, having pleasant conversations. Forwarding double meaning WhatsApp chats πŸ˜›πŸ˜›. You can talk about anything under the sun. And I will have my 2 cents to add to that. I am easy going and have no airs or pretences. I am just as comfortable with someone I met recently and know nothing about, as I am with my oldest friends.

But that happy go lucky exterior is just a part of me. A part that all people see. The part that I want them to see. And like I mentioned earlier. That part IS me. I am not faking it or pretending. But there’s a whole other part which is unknown to the world, including many I have known my entire life.

This is the part that is fighting a silent fight every moment of every day. The one that’s in constant pain. Physical pain? Yes, very much so, due to the myriad health issues. But much more than that, it’s the mental pain. Pain of not having so many things I wanted, of not getting to experience so many things that most people take for granted. It’s the part that lives in constant fear, anxiety and grief. The part that’s always afraid of what the future holds. The part that always overthinks, over stresses and over analyzes and is basically in panic mode 24/7. Most people who know me have no clue about this other part. This other side of me. It’s like 2 dual personalities coexisting, almost like the story of Jekyll and Hyde. Just that, here it’s not a case of good and evil. Rather, a case of happy and sad.

This brief conversation really got me thinking. Why is it that I find it easy to share my happiness with others but never my sadness? Share the little joys but never the sorrow? After all, that too is as much a part of me and who I am. And it’s not that people haven’t reached out to me, offering to listen with genuine intent. But the moment that happens, I freeze. Unable to speak, unable to communicate. Unable to share. Unable to open up. What am I so afraid of? Being judged? Being perceived differently? Being labeled a crybaby? I pondered over this question for quite a while. And even now, I don’t have a 100% clear answer to that. But I think I figured out a few possible reasons for that.

Maybe I don’t share my sorrows because I don’t want to look weak, or maybe because I don’t want anybody’s sympathy. God, I know I hate that when people say ‘oh poor you’, ‘don’t worry everything will be fine’ and other such well meaning stuff which are probably said out of genuine concern, BUT no, I don’t want it. I don’t want to be the sad, hopelessly depressed soul who people start ignoring and avoiding after a while, coz ‘oh she’s such a drama’ or ‘oh she’s such an epic bore’, or ‘poor thing, she’s been through so much, no wonder she’s so sad’. No, certainly not what I want.

Because you see, I really believe that some fights are personal. Some battles are best fought alone. Just like the good and evil are always at war inside us, so is the happy and sad. And just like good triumphs over evil, on the days or moments, when that happiness triumphs over the sadness…..well that’s a battle well fought and won. And each such moment, when I choose to keep aside the sadness and decide to BE happy (not fake it), it’s definitely worth celebrating. To pat and tell myself ‘Girl, you did well!!’. It’s like a party thrown by me…For Me!! After all, who can understand you better than yourself? Who can really push you and be your biggest motivator? YOU!! πŸ˜€πŸ˜Ž

Happiness is a decision~ Michael J Fox.

So for the outside world, I’d rather be the gal with the cherubic smile.  The one who’s fun to be around. The one with no worries. And maybe eventually, I will BE that person. FULLY.

We’ll see how that goes.
Here’s hoping. πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

Ps. All images are from Google.

Edit: seeing the comments, I should clarify..my mom in law understands my need to do this myself and we are totally cool. We immediately patched up and are back to chit-chatting, including some family gossips πŸ˜œπŸ˜›πŸ˜‚

Raindrops…

Raindrops keep falling on my head,
Like little drops of heaven..
No need to run to the nearby shed,
Just get drenched and soak it all in..

When it rains, the plants smile,
The animals rejoice..
The little streams picks up speed to cover an extra mile,
Through the thunders, you can almost hear the Almighty’s voice.

He knows how badly the Earth needs this shower to heal and replenish,
It’s his way of showing who is in control,
Although, HE lets Man think otherwise so that the fool can flourish,
Oblivious to the power play, enjoying the rain, fulfills my soul. πŸ’“πŸŒ§οΈβ˜”

All pics from Free Photo Library