Can you?

Things I can’t say out loud.. Can you?

Can you miss what you don’t have?

Can you drown in water if your head is still above?

Can you mourn what you haven’t lost?

Can you walk away from what you value the most?

Can you imagine what can never be?

Can you touch what you can’t see?

Can you hear the laughter and chuckle that isn’t there?

Can you feel the presence of the non existent everywhere?

Can you smell the fragrance that will not pervade your life?

Can you deal with the ever growing internal strife?

Can you envision the life ahead that will never be your reality?

Can you ever really accept your life and all its inherent abnormality?

Can you?



Let’s buck up and heal the worldπŸŒ³πŸŒπŸ’šπŸŒ±

For decades, Man has caused massive destruction of nature,

Too ignorant to realize this will lead to his own doom, he is so darn immature.

Cut trees, destroyed forests, replaced them with concrete jungles.

Disregarded Nature’s disapprovals, begs, pleas and grumbles.

Man poached endangered animal species, selling to the rich who pay,

Only to put them up as trophies for shameful display.

Man set up factories emitting toxic gases, polluting the air.

Making the birds breathless and innocent fellow humans sick beyond repair.

Sometimes I wonder where the quarrel of sparrows went,

Are they living far away in the woods or are they dead?

When we set out for advancements in communication and technology, did we really assess what it meant,

For the plants, the animals, the diverse ecosystems and the environment?

For years, Mother nature has been tolerating Man’s idiocracy and greed.

Time to wake up and pay heed,

Let’s pull up our socks and get to action.

And help heal mother nature without any distraction.

Let’s plant more trees, burn less fossil fuel and pollute the air and seas less.

And hopefully we can survive few more centuries with god’s grace.


This poem was written to commemorate World Environment Day, which is the biggest awareness campaign launched by the United Nations in the early 70s which is celebrated across the world on June 5 every year to cherish the nature that’s around us. The theme for this year’s World Environment Day is ‘Ecosystem Restoration.’ This year will also mark the formal launch of the UN Decade on Ecosystem Restoration 2021-2030.

A Birthday, a R.E.U.N.I.O.N and an Anniversary

So 3 things happened in the past few days, which I would consider to be fairly significant milestones in my life.

First I celebrated my 30-something birthday on the 26th of May, which was by the way, my 2ND Lockdown birthday…and probably as a birthday gift from the universe, the F.R.I.E.N.D.S R.E.U.N.I.O.N aired the very next day πŸ₯³πŸ₯³. And today, I completed a full year of starting this blog.πŸ“βœοΈ

Lockdown birthdays be like

Ok so first about the birthday..like I mentioned, this was my second lockdown birthday. Last year too we were under total lockdown. Even getting a cake was difficult. There was no going out, no dressing up, no meeting with friends, no party shenanigans. Fortunately my parents were with me, so they made up for it with their love and pampering, including a scrumptious lunch prepared by my mother including all things my favourite. πŸ₯°πŸ˜‹

Last year, I bought a nice dress, thinking of wearing it when we step out once this pandemic is behind us. Stupid me. Am sure the pandemic devil was silently chuckling. And yes, like you would imagine that dress is still waiting to be worn. There was a time (even until last year) when I was hooked on to online shopping, I just couldn’t get enough things to buy. But now, even buying a simple top or a new pair of jeans seems like a long term investment. Who knows when I can actually wear them πŸ™„πŸ€·. Seems like pyajamas are here to stay and slay. ☹️

This year’s birthday was just like any other day this year. Only difference, I took leave from work, which is about as exciting and happening as it can be when you’re under total lockdown. Parents not here with me this time, so cooked up my favourite things, ate lots of cake (thanks to husband for pre-ordering from my favourite patisserie), spoke to Friends and family and spent a considerable amount of time being lazy and doing nothing productive. Come to think of it, maybe it wasn’t the best birthday I’ve had, but a day spent lazying around and doing absolutely nothing, is actually a day well spent indeed πŸ˜πŸ’€.

Infact, probably first time ever, I couldn’t wait for my birthday to get over coz the very next day it was time for the FRIENDS REUNION. Now if you have read my earlier posts, you would know that am a huge, huge fan. I dedicated an entire post to the series (read My ode to F.R.I.E.N.D.S) and I keep referring to them in every other post. For me the series is like comfort food, each episode like a spoonful of chocolate icecream. Familiar and comforting. Just what I need to get through the hiccups of the day. So imagine my excitement when I say that I was gonna see my favourite 6 people together again. At the same place and at the same time. After 17 years!! Could I BE any happierπŸ˜„πŸ˜„

❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️

When I heard of the team working on something, I was hoping they would take the story forward and we would see how their lives have shaped up after all these years. Did Joey ever fall in love and get married? Does Monica still laugh at chandler’s jokes? Are Ross and Rachel still together or are they again on a break? How many cats does Mike and Phoebe have at home? Is Janice still trying to woo chandler? Wouldn’t it be nice to know how these characters are doing after all these years. But I guess they thought it best to leave this to our imagination. And a reunion is what they planned for us fans.

And such a joy it was to see them all together again. I had goosebumps as I saw each of them walk into the same sets where they acted in all the 10 seasons. Watching them go down memory lane, reliving their character’s iconic moments, talk about their journey. It was just heart warming. And to know that Jen and David (Ross and Rachel) did actually have feelings for each other much like their onscreen characters….who knows maybe they could have been lobsters in real life too. Ok. I need to stop fantasizing. It was just a joy to see all of them come together and talk about and celebrate the greatest show ever (for me atleast). πŸ’—πŸ’—

My eyes my eyes πŸ’–πŸ’–

And lastly, today I completed 1 year of blogging. I opened this account to just vent and ramble on about things that bothered me, about things I wanted to discuss. I chose to go anonymous so that I could say things here that I refrain from sharing on other fancy social media platforms (read The half hearted smileβ€¦πŸ™‚πŸ™‚. ). I never thought anyone would read them,let alone like them. But, this past year has been so amazing. I have connected with some wonderful people here, who actually read and leave a comment on all my posts. I have had the opportunity to read so much here…. beautiful poetries, fictions, life experiences. It has been truly a fantastic experience and for that, I thank you all. I hope we can continue to inspire and motivate each other in the coming days. My love and gratitude to you all for the support and encouragement. πŸ’–πŸ€—

Would you like a DO-OVER?πŸ€”πŸ’­

Umm….I think I need both πŸ˜‚

Last night I was watching the new Netflix film ‘The woman in the window’, and while the movie was not that great (Amy Adams totally brilliant though), there was one scene that kind of stayed on with me….ok don’t wanna give out too much details in case you haven’t watched it and want to, but there is this one scene, where she records her thoughts on video..and she keeps saying that she wants to go back in time and do over things.

Got me thinking, don’t we all wish that we could go back in time and UNDO a few things…a few mistakes, a few bad decisions, few twists of fate. Wouldn’t it actually be wonderful to revisit these key moments in life and have a chance to RE-DO the same, but this time differently and see how that pans out.

As I started thinking about it, my mind was already making a list, and I sort of indulged it to live vicariously through this list. So these are the top things that made it to my make believe DO OVER list (in no particular order):

* I wish I could redo my childhood and had forced my parents for a sibling, so that they would have someone else to worry about and someone else to worry for them. πŸ˜…

* I wish I could undo the many months of pining over my first heartbreak…now in retrospect, it seems like such an epic waste of precious time crying over a guy and a relationship that really didn’t deserve so much fanfare from me…I could have used that time constructively to do so much more…like working on myself, learning new technology to enhance my career or maybe even casually dating some hot guys 😜

* I wish I could undo the terrible decision of leaving my first job. Had I stayed on even for a few months, I would have been settled abroad like the rest of my teammates. Talk about bad timing. πŸ™„

* I wish I got a chance to undo the twists of fate that ended up setting me off to a hospital so many times.

* I wish my body was not this unruly little pest doing whatever the hell it feels like, and that it behaved and stayed in its permissible limits and not cause so much drama. 😏

* I wish (and this I wish on behalf of everyone) that I could undo this scary pandemic that has taken over our lives and brought life to a standstill. Wish I could send it back to wherever the hell it came from and that we could have our old lives back. When I could go out, meet friends, travel, chill rather than staying at home, scared and paranoid. 😣

I know some of the above mentioned do-overs aren’t really in my control like the health issues, pandemic etc, but then so is the list…I can’t actually undo any of them. So why not list out the unpleasant events in my life and indulge in some wishful overthinking and fantasizing about the what ifs. πŸ’­πŸ’­

Now one might say that everything that happens in our lives, good or bad, makes us the person we are right now. True. But then, who’s to say this current version of me is the best version possible? Honestly, I think I would be much better off without some of these things happening. I could be happier, I could be more content, more successful, my life could be more fulfilling.

The only consolation- Maybe things are not as great as they could have been, but then, they could have been much much worse. And for that, I am grateful. πŸ™‚

All images from Google

What are some of the items in your DO-OVER List? Do mention it in the comments. Would love to read them all πŸ’•πŸ’•

An ode to my Momma bear πŸ’•

A little poem dedicated to my Mommy and to all the wonderful mommies out there, on this special day of Mother’s day. You guys rock πŸ€˜πŸ€©πŸ˜ŽπŸ’


She is all things beautiful and wonderful.

Her love, care and concern makes my life meaningful.

She has not just given birth to me, but also gifted me several lives.

She has aced each role, whether daughter, mother or wife.

She has picked me up from rock bottom and nurtured me back to health.

Her resilience and unconditional love is my greatest wealth.

Her courage to face life’s adversities gives me strength,

To fight the challenges that keep coming, and to keep them away at arm’s length.

There is truly nobody like her.

She is my one and only..my most beloved mother.

If it were upto me, to celebrate her, I wouldn’t pick just a single day,

I would hug her, kiss her and wish her a ‘Happy mother’s Day’ every single day.πŸ’•



Mother’s Day was first celebrated in the US, in 1908 when a woman named Anna Jarvis wished to commemorate Mother’s Day as a recognised holiday to honour her mother, Ann Reese Jarvis who was a peace activist and had passed away three years prior. Anna had a memorial for her mother in St. Andrews Methodist Church in West Virginia – which is now the International Mother’s Day Shrine. Anna Jarvis wanted to honour her mother as she believed that a mother is β€œthe person who has done more for you than anyone in the world”.

In most countries Mother’s Day is celebrated on the second Sunday in May, among them the USA, Canada, most European countries, Australia, New Zealand, India, China, Japan, the Philippines and South Africa. One notable exception to this rule are the UK and Ireland, which celebrate Mother’s Day on the fourth Sunday in Lent. Most Arab countries celebrate Mother’s Day on March 21st (vernal equinox). Most East European countries celebrate Mother’s Day on March 8th.

Tough times

The world thought it had tamed the monster,

That they had succeeded in preventing another disaster.

Alas, Couldn’t have been more wrong,

The queue of body bags keeps getting long.

The times we face now are indeed grim and rough,

And as days go by, the going gets tough.

People all around are suffering,

Healthcare system is collapsing.

The cities are exhausted and breathless,

Everywhere you look, the governance is a shameful mess.

There’s panic and fear everywhere,

Without sufficient medicines, the less fortunate resorts to prayer.

The wise ones stay at home,

While the covidiots continue to roam.

Everyday is a new record.

But we are nowhere near the peak, mark my word.

When will we start to heal and mend?

Oh God, when will this nightmare end?

Dear all, Now is NOT the time to give up and despair,

Time to show our inherent human resilience extraordinaire.

We have to put up a brave fight to see this through,

Remember we are all in this together- me and you.

Together we will fight the monster, till we bid it adieu,

Coz tough times don’t last, but tough people do.


β€œEverybody goes through difficult times, but it is those who push through those difficult times who will eventually become successful in life. Don’t give up, because this too shall pass.”

― Jeanette Coron

Is there a secret formula to a happy marriage?? πŸ€”πŸ€”

The other day the husband got a Call from his bud…asking to meet for drinks and that he needed ‘to talk’. Upon his return (and some nudging), I came to know that their marriage has hit a rough patch and catching up for drinks was just an excuse to find a friendly ear to vent out the pent up frustrations and discuss the hell that his married life has turned into.

And this is not the first friend with marital woes… recently reconnected with one of my college buddies and he too complained of trouble in paradise…surprised me because he is one of the nicest, coolest person I know. Plus, he is married for less than a year….and here I was, assuming he is too busy enjoying his honeymoon period to bother about old friends…

Trouble in paradise

Tales of such marital discord definitely stays on longer in a woman’s mind than a man’s. I say this with some certainty seeing the nonchalance on my husband’s part and quite the opposite on mine πŸ˜›.

When you hear so much about trouble in other people’s married lives, you are bound to take a good, hard look at your own…wonder if all is indeed well…if you are really, truly happy or it’s a just a superficial facade while it’s rotting underneath?….is the pandemic to be blamed for this? Are people unraveling under the pressures of being stuck at home with each other 24/7 and that is causing all the pent up issues to come to the surface? I mean, before covid walked in, we all had busy lives, going to work, commuting, socializing with friends, colleagues..and barely had enough time to spend with our spouses….now we spend every waking moment seeing them around..

Now, neither am I any expert nor my marriage is perfect, but my husband and I have been together for almost 9 years now…dated for 5 and married for 4..and in these 9 years we have gone through stuff that most people face in their entire lifetime..sickness, loss, grief, financial struggles, and of course a pandemic (who can forget that)….the ride has often been extremely difficult, tempestuous and at times turbulent…more so for the circumstances than anything else. Like 2 people stranded on a little boat caught in a storm in the middle of the sea (remember Life of Pi people?), braving the weather and the adversities that come with it…in short, we have been sailing our way through some serious shit. Anyways, that’s a tale for another day and another post.

That’s definitely US riding that one πŸ™„πŸ™

My point is, I always thought, that marriage or any romantic relationship for that matter, stands on 3 pillars , much like a tripod stand on its 3 legs, namely
LOVE, LUST and FRIENDSHIP.
Of course, that’s oversimplifying a very complex dynamics but this was just how I categorised it as per my understanding when I was young, naive and perhaps stupid.

But, over the years, I have realized that perhaps this formula isn’t foolproof. Lets be honest, lust decreases after a point. After years together with the same person, the passion and intensity dwindles, some amount of monotony sets in (if that’s not the case with you…damn you make me jealous😜😜).
For love, I’d say it kinda plateaus out, meaning it reaches the peak and then flattens out, which is a good thing as it means it’s consistent (OK, have to admit this idea is borrowed. The husband said it one day and it just stuck with me🀫🀫). You don’t get butterflies in your stomach every time he walks in, or you don’t blush at every compliment and compliments themselves are few and far between πŸ™„πŸ€¨. But it’s the third leg that actually keeps the ball rolling – friendship.

Think about it, it is friendship that makes us comfortable with each other. If you’re better friends, chances are you’ll talk more, share more, communicate more, maybe even fight more and get things out of your system. You will enjoy each others’ company more and understand where each one stands on certain matters. And it will definitely make these stuck-at-home-pandemic-days more bearable. Of course there are many other factors such as trust, respect, loyalty etc at play. But broadly speaking, sustaining a happy , healthy relationship definitely lies in becoming better friends. That is assuming the other 2 factors remain constant. Coz a friendly-but-cheating partner does no good to this formula πŸ™„πŸ˜•πŸ˜ŽπŸ€¬πŸ˜‘

That’s just my opinion of things as I see it right now…do let me know if you agree or disagree. Peace 😊✌️

How do I perceive HOPE?

So how do I perceive hope?
That life will be smooth sailing? Nope.
That life will be like a cactus with thorns,
We have to take them out one at a time, while life scorns.
Yet we must strive,
To overcome the adversities and thrive.

When we overcome one challenge,
And start to recover from the damage,
Bam comes another one,
Bigger, tougher, mightier.
Nowhere to hide. Just run.

Run not away, but towards the obstacle,
Fight it, beat it and skillfully tackle.
Till nothing much remains of it,
You emerge victorious while it hangs its head in defeat.

No time to get complacent or to rest,
Round the corner awaits the next test.
We must be bold, brave and courageous,
And be prepared to face it head-on, no matter how dangerous.

So How do I perceive hope?
Like hanging onto a thinning rope,
Moving through all of life’s adversities,
Cutting through endless hardships and difficulties.
With the belief that the rope won’t give away,
And that, life at the other end of the rope shall be easy one day.

Love thy Neighbour..or at least know them!!

The pandemic has affected different people in different ways.. but for most of us, I can say with some confidence , that it has made us homebodies. We have realized there’s a certain joy in working from home dressed in our old, worn out tee and PJs and we ain’t getting out of them any time soon…move over Gucci, Versace…the new fashion trend is here to S-L-A-Y πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

There was a time when home was where we returned to at night, after a hectic day at work, to sleep at night. Or the place where we spent our lazy weekends, just resting, rejuvenating. Charging up our batteries for the crazy work week ahead. The time when Monday blues was indeed a real thing..a real feeling. Thanks to Covid, the home is now our safety net. Our fortress that ensures the enemy stays outdoors (mostly). Initially, like many of you, I struggled to cope with this huge change in my life and daily routine. Always staying indoors. Getting used to living 24/7 in this confined space took a while. But now, a year later, there’s no place I’d rather be. ❀️🏠

These days, the very thought of going out, getting out of my PJs and looking at the wardrobe trying to remember all the clothing (heaps of it) I own itself is tiring. I do enjoy the walks in the terrace and the occasional grocery shopping (rest is all ordered online), but for the most parts, I have kind of found solace in this forced isolation. I have learnt new things, developed new hobbies, rekindled old passion with the paint brush (not the exπŸ€ͺ) . Long story short, I find ways to keep myself as engaged and occupied as possible.

This transition has been somewhat bearable due to the technology at our disposal primarily Internet, smartphones, social media…thanks to them, we can still be connected to our friends and family, get work done (lots of it) and have some semblance of normalcy in this unprecedented time in the history of the world..

But once a while, I too am stuck with pangs of loneliness. Wanting to actually sit and chat with someone. Get to know them. Share a cup of coffee. Chat. Have a hearty laugh. Those times I crib endlessly to my husband, who looks at me with disbelief, that I still feel the need to talk more, in addition to the endless chitchat I forcefully engage him in dailyπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

The other day, while on a quick grocery shopping spree, I bumped into my new neighbor. I had an important work call to get to, so the interaction was very brief, and I did not even pay much attention to what she said as I had to run back home to make it to the call. So I just said ‘nice to meet you, do drop by sometime’ and went my own way without much thought into it. And frankly, I just said it as a courtesy and did not expect to meet her unless we bumped into each other in the elevator once again some other time.

But it was a pleasant surprise when she came by to say ‘Hi’ with a box of cupcakes (how could I not invite her in with a big smile after that πŸ˜›)…and we started talking…turns out we are from the same city, about the same age, speak the same language, have similar crazy hectic work lives, both struggling to manage work and household chores…just so much to relate to. And this time I was so engrossed in the conversation that time just flew by and when she said she had to leave, I realized we were chatting for almost an hour!!

This sudden visit from my new neighbor left me with several realizations. Thing is, I had heard they moved in into a flat on the same floor a few weeks back. But never bothered to go meet them, introduce ourselves, you know.. be the good neighbors.Yeah that’s how busy, preoccupied and self serving we millennials are. πŸ™„πŸ™„ Even when I was cribbing about feeling lonely and craving company, I never thought of reaching out. I should have. Especially now more than ever, when going out to meet friends and cousins may not be wisest thing to do. But am glad she did. Before leaving, she asked me to visit her sometime. I said ‘Yes, definitely. I’d love to’. This time I meant it and fully intend to follow through.

I was looking for a friend and it was waiting right next door!! How wierd yet how wonderful. Here’s looking forward to a new friendship πŸ₯‚πŸ˜Š

Live in the present

She finally had a party to attend,
Excitedly She got dressed,
She put on her new dress and her favourite lipstick,
She remembered their old party days and did not want the fun times to end.

She was excited to meet her friends after so long,
Eagerly looking forward to the drinks and the endless banter,
The usual party shenanigans,
To enjoy the karaoke and to sing along.

But this time it was somehow different,
After all, they had ‘grown up’,
Vodka shots made way for wine,
Frivolous chatter made way for serious arguments.

Earlier they used to worry about paying rent,
Now they were discussing real estate and investment.
Earlier they were always in the party mood,
Now all they could talk about was house, car, politics, diapers and baby-food.

They were all busy making plans for the future,
As if things always go as per plan.
Little did they know, in a flash, it could all go for a toss.
And all they would be left with, would be debris of broken dreams and a nagging feeling of loss.

But she was different, life had made her wise,
So while her friends were busy planning,
She made a mental note of the one thing her heart was craving at that moment,
Turns out, it was ice cream- her favourite vice.

So she excused herself and left the party,
And went straight for the ice-cream that made her happy,
For she really knew what it meant,
To savour each moment and to fully enjoy living in the present.

Word.

Spring for my Soul πŸŒ»πŸŒΌπŸ¦‹πŸŒΊ

The past year has been like no other. The pandemic has hit us hard and has been a testing time for all of us in varying capacities. It has imparted some important, never-to-forget life lessons though. Almost forgotten things like patience, slowing down, resting, relaxing, family time seems to have been reintroduced in our lives and have gained much fan following ever since…

For me, this whole experience has definitely made me more patient, for the sake of mental peace compelled me to find more time for myself (even though I have a crazy and super stressful work life), indulge in trying out new hobbies…but the most important life lesson I got out of this whole pandemic situation has been this –

Finding Happiness in the little things.

Like the joy of a steamin cup of coffee, watching a good film, going through photo albums to immerse myself in a sea of nostalgia to reminisce the good ol’ days, seeing flowers bloom in my mini balcony, standing in the balcony to hear the birds chirping away, watching kids play in the garden below (and secretly hoping to join them in their game of hide and seek). Simple things. Mundane things. Things we probably did and do every day without even realising the inherent beauty of it. Without realizing how it actually appeases each of our senses.

Like the sight of a clear blue sky with puffs of white clouds floating about or the bloom of colourful flowers in my small garden is visual happiness. The aroma of my chef styled cooked chicken wafting through the air heightens and appeases my sense of smell. Eating it makes my taste buds happy. Holding on to my husband’s hands during a horror film is comfort for my skin craving human touch. Listening to my favourite songs at blasting volume is happiness for my ears. So you see, how the simplest things have so many hidden joys. All we have to do is experience it with all the senses we have been blessed with, and try to derive as much joy and happiness out of it as possible. More so now than ever, as Corona is still out there, waiting to catch hold of us. So we still have to spend a lot of time inside our homes before we can really go back to our old, carefree normal.

In addition to pleasing our senses, I have realized it is equally important to please our soul…to nurture and replenish it with copious amounts of love, laughter, sunshine, peace, tranquility and contentment. In any way that works best for you. For me, I have decided that I am going to savour the simple joys, enjoy the mundane, complain less, appreciate more…and also add some colour in my life.

Here’s a sneak peek of my new plant babies ushering in the joy, hope and colours of Spring not just in my little balcony..but also into my life. Spring for my Soul. πŸ’πŸ¦‹πŸŒΊπŸ₯°πŸ’•

Cloudy.

It’s a cloudy day today,
And so is my mood.
Some things don’t feel right,
While others still feel good.

It’s just one of those days when I sulk and brood,
If you rub me the wrong way I can even be rude,
I feel like hiding under my hood,
Today, just today, just stop messing with me dude.

Reflecting on the things I have to do and the things I should,
Realize nothing much of that will happen, if to meetings and deadlines I remain glued,
If only the fretting and overthinking stopped, if only it could,
I know that would help a great deal in getting me out of the woods.

I need a generous dose of happiness,
To feel better, to uplift my grumpy mood,
Can chocolate do the magic? Hell it sure could.
Suddenly I hear it…a faint thunder roll in the distance…and a few precious raindrops on the window pane,
And I know for sure..God has rewarded me with an instant feel good. πŸ™‚πŸŒ§οΈβ›ˆοΈ

Long distance Friendship…

Let me start by saying that this is NOT a review of ‘Firefly Lane’, the latest drama series from Netflix, but rather about my experience while watching it- the many flashbacks, the many reflections and contemplations…in short this post is about my personal experience with the series.. however there might be some spoilers so if you haven’t seen it and want to see it, then perhaps you should come back after watching and that way I am sure you will be able to relate to it much more.

So this is a story about a chance encounter between 2 teenaged girls. Two people Who couldn’t be more different. While one is the school hottie, the other is a total nerd (loved her oversized glasses πŸ€“) and how gradually they become best friends for life. The series unfolds in 3 timeframes starting from their teenage years, to their 20s all the way upto their 40s..giving us a peak into their lives and personalities and how they grow and evolve with time.

Note: To all of you who are 70’s and 80’s kids…man I envy you….that was such a cool time to be a young adult… rebellious and free and ready to take on the world 😎😎

The story delves into several sensitive issues such as homosexuality and the social stigma around it which is still prevalent today, drug abuse, difficult pregnancies, infidelity,mid life crisis, office politics, exploitation at workplace, sibling rivalry, generation gap between parents and children especially teenagers, loss of a loved one, grief and how different people cope with it differently. All of these issues are woven seamlessly into the story and dealt with maturely and sensitively. Yet at the heart of it, it’s a story about friendship and how truly important it is in our lives.

The series made me reflect on my friendship with my best friend. Just like the 2 protagonists, we couldn’t be more different. She is fiercely independent and ambitious, determined to achieve great things, while I am more easy going, laid-back. My talent for procastrination is legendary. She can vouch for that πŸ˜‚. Watching the series took me back in time, remembering the first time I met my bestie in 6th grade. Never thought we would be friends, let alone be best friends even after all these years. It reminded me of all the crazy things we would do like bunking classes and secretly chilling at the bottom of the stairs. Oblivious to the world and the teacher’s wrath. It reminded me of the dire need to discuss each and every miniscule thing with her. Praying for her to approve and get along with the boyfriend in college. Discussing and dissecting every fight, every heart break, every family gossip. Just pouring my heart out to her. Coz, as different as we were and still are, she gets me. She understands me like no other.

However, as I binge watched the whole series over the weekend, there was one thing I envied about their friendship. One thing they didn’t have and we do. Distance. Coz we have spent majority of the 2 decades of friendship living in different countries. Although that hasn’t stopped us from being there for each other during the good times and the bad. No. Never. We have always been an integral part of each others’ lives. Breakups, college, marriage, sickness, jobs..we have been with each other during all such milestone moments. But it’s the little things that we miss out on. Like if one of us had a shitty day at work, we can’t meet up, vent and then forget the blues while watching a chick flick together. If I am feeling low, I can pick up the phone and talk to her but I won’t get to hug her and feel the world is not so bad after all. If she had a bad day, I can only say ‘it will be okay’, but I can’t give her a surprise visit with her favourite food to cheer her up….I realized that we indeed do miss out on these little, precious moments ☹️☹️

Firefly lane may have its flaws but one thing it does get right..is the portrayal of friendship…it will make your heart crave for a friendship as strong as theirs. And if you are fortunate enough to have such a friend, it will make you love and value them even more. And if they are far away, it will make you reach out for your phone to call them and talk to them and tell them how much you love them. πŸ’•πŸ’•

Here’s one of my favourite quotes on friendship from the film Bride wars…which I also quoted on my bff’s wedding day 😊

The first bloom πŸŒ·πŸŒ·

To say that the last few days have been hectic is truly an understatement. Work has been all consuming, draining off every morsel of energy out of me. So much so, that I have been unable to blog as I just didn’t know what to write. I thought of writing about my hell of a work life. But then I realized it would be more of a ramble and would probably end up cursing my manager and using all kinds of profanities. But then who doesn’t have a boss to hate and bitch about. I guess many of you will have the same experience and wouldn’t want to be reminded of the same here. I mean this is our happy space and I didn’t want to give her an entry here (but I guess I already kind of have, haven’t I?). And what’s really the point. it’s not like she will read it and decide to stop her rampage of my mental peace.

So thats me most days, angry, frustrated, irritated (ask my husbandπŸ˜›), just pissed off for having to put up with a menace of a manager.

These days it’s become somewhat of a habit. As soon as I wake up, I run to the balcony. To see my beautiful plant babies. Basking in sunlight. Enjoying the chill in the morning breeze. Just watching them alive and thriving just gives a me a certain sense of peace and tranquility. So normally, I just stand in the balcony for a few minutes. starting the day with them. Watering them. Sometimes even talking to them. Sitting and soaking in the sun together. However today morning, I was in for a pleasant surprise.

My beautiful plant baby had this gift for me….the first bloom..and that too…a double whammy…

The unadulterated joy I felt , I possibly cannot put in words. To see all the hard work and care and nurturing..finally come to fruition..it was a joy, a Victory and a celebration for me alone to enjoy and savour. I sipped my morning tea watching the beautiful bloom. Determined to shower more care and nurture them so that they continue to bloom and bear more flowers. It energised me. And prepared me for another grueling day at work.

Love for the night….

There is something so beautiful about the night,
That an early bird might never understand..
The night is silent, the night is peaceful,
The night is often like a dream and seldom a fright.

Night is like a beautiful silhouette,
When dreams unfold,
And come to life…
When your true creativity comes to light.

When all is quiet and peaceful,
And you have all the the time to think and ponder,
Free from all the daily stress,
The night time is indeed beautiful.

When all are asleep,
And you have all the time to yourself,
To do what you want,
To let your creativity leap.

Night time is indeed the best time of the day,
When others are fast asleep and you’re fully awake,
To enjoy the silence and tranquility,
And to keep all the stress away.

My Quest for a new ‘Talent’

Ever since the earth completed another revolution and we moved into 2021, I have been doing some introspection…mainly pertaining to my ‘talents’…. probably coz I off late I have been seeing lot of people posting pictures proudly displaying their talents whether it’s singing or dancing , knitting, painting, fitness or even stand up comedy….so that got me thinking..what are my talents?? πŸ€”πŸ€”

Now whenever anyone asks me that, I very proudly and honestly tell them that my talents are sleeping, lazing around and binge watching Netflix..but then, come on, even I know they are not real talents these are not really talents.. certainly not ones I can display for the world to see and admire…so I go back to contemplate this basic question…what are my talents?

Can I dance? Well if you consider Chandler a good dancer, I guess am as good as him then πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

Can I sing? Well am definitely a bathroom singer…but then who doesn’t sing in the shower. And the point of that is no one’s listening. But in public though I guess I won’t be much better than Janice serenading Chandler (yes ok maybe I should stop giving F.R.I.E.N.D.S references) but I guess it suffices to say that singing in public is definitely not my thing..and won’t be yours too if you are Listening πŸ˜›πŸ˜›πŸ˜›

Am I funny for a stand up piece? Well I have seen people’s funny side come out when when they have downed a couple of tequillas…but am told that won’t work for me. My husband says am a sad drinker who whines and cribs and abuses the shit out of people. Not the kind of funny I imagine I wanna be…

Can I paint? Well sure. Ever since kindergarten, I have been painting a hut with fences and a tree and mountains in the background with a sun and some birds…but sadly I realize even my 7 year old nephew can draw that…it’s like the AbC of painting and clearly I haven’t progressed beyond that to reach XYZ.

Can I put up fitness videos to inspire others? Yeah why the hell not. All I have to do for it is to become fit. Piece of cake right?…rather no piece of cake. Watching fitness videos , promising to start working on them from ‘tomorrow’ while eating ice cream…hmm… probably not what one would expect in a fitness video. So that’ll have to wait. Not today. But Someday.

So, in desperate need of a real talent, I ponder hard ….and finally have decided..that if I don’t have any real talents then I am going to create them by trying out different things and then will see if I am any good..if I see some potential, I will work on it. If not, I have to find another. But I will try and try until I really find something I can claim to be a ‘talent’..

So for now, upon careful analysis and watching many many tutorial videos, I have shortlisted 3 talents that I am gonna try out.

First, I have decided to revamp my balcony mini garden…I decided it needed a dash of color and some glamor. So I added some new plants to the garden…welcome home babies ❀️❀️

Next up, I was really intrigued by glass painting. I am yet to start, even with the purchase of the paints. But it’s happening for sure.. For now, Motivating my husband to gulp some beer so that I can get the bottles to experiment on. Talk about an ideal wife.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Lastly, to my utter joy, I found out that if one wants to paint and play with colours, then thankfully you needn’t be a Van Gogh or da Vinci to pull it off. I came across these number by paint canvasses where all I need to do is apply colors on the canvas based on the numbers instructed. And in no time one can have a masterpiece to their credit. Genius.

Well that’s the plan for now. Let’s see how that goes. What about you? Have you ever gone looking around for a ‘talent’? Do tell. Waiting to steal your ideas incase mine falls flat. Just kidding. Or not. πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

Introvert or Extrovert?? πŸ€”

Unless you’re living under a rock, am sure you all must be well acquainted with Facebook and the many varied quizzes that come up in your feed…what’s your spirit animal, which character of game of thrones are you, are you a hills or beach person, which character from Friends sitcom do you resemble the most, how good is your grammar, which celebrity will be your ideal partner (please let it be Ryan Gosling😍)… etc etc…I have done and enough and more of such stupid quizzes in the past for some time pass and these days I am done with them and skip right through them…after all they are just frivolous and hardly make sense. However last night, I came across a quiz ‘Are you an introvert or Extrovert?’ that piqued my interest and I decided to give it a go.

But this time I was in for a surprise. Each question was on the lines of ‘would you rather do this or that’, ‘do you prefer this over that’. And the options given were such that I just couldn’t make up my mind. And that’s wierd right..coz you are either this or that…you are either a very bubbly, talkative person who is a delightful social presence or just the idea of meeting so many people makes you feel sick in the stomach and you would rather just curl up in a blanket with a good book and a steaming cuppa coffee. But when I looked at the given options, I was like ‘damn I wanna do all those things, which one do I select??’ πŸ€”πŸ€”

It might sound funny, but for a few minutes, these questions baffled me so much and made me scratch my head and almost gave me an existential crisis…that if I couldn’t answer such a basic question about myself, of whether I am an introvert or Extrovert, then how do I answer the more serious questions like Who am I? What Am I? πŸ˜–πŸ˜£πŸ˜³πŸ˜¨

Because the thing is, that as an outsider, if you meet me you will definitely consider me an extrovert. And rightly so. I love talking. And like to engage in conversation. Which is why it sometimes infuriates me when 100 words out of me just invokes a ‘hmm’ or an ‘OK’ from my husband 🀬😣. It just kills my vibe and makes me scowl and fume. Anyways, coming back to the topic, whether it borders on office gossip or some family scandal or just any random discussion on politics, weather, life in general, I am always ready to chip in with my words of wisdom πŸ˜‡. And it really doesn’t matter if I know you from kindergarten or we just met 2 minutes ago…I am equally at ease (unless you’re some hottie trying to hit on my husband…then you get my scowl rather than my dazzling smile πŸ™„πŸ€¨πŸ˜•). I so look forward to the occasional nightouts with us pub hopping, dancing away till the wee hours (I am talking about pre covid times here). Now all these things are textbook definition of an extrovert, and that’s what I always considered myself to be.

However, there is also a less publicised side of me, that’s quieter, loves the solitude, spending time with just myself without talking to anyone, having important conversations in my head about the significant as well as the trivial. Soaking up the quietness, the peace and tranquility. Ideally, that’s what early mornings feel like (so am told, I have no idea πŸ˜›), but for me it’s the silence of the night when it’s past everyone’s bedtime. That’s my time to thrive. To read, to blog, to make imaginary travel plans, to think about life, career, family, Friends, myself. To reflect on the past, think of the present and contemplate the future. Sometimes, even during the day, I might be in such a mood where I would happily pass off an offer to check out the latest pub or cafe as I don’t feel like bantering away. And prefer a day out just with myself. Lazing around. Listening to my favourite songs. Just enjoying my own company to recharge and rejuvenate. Now isn’t that textbook definition of an introvert? πŸ€”πŸ€”

Hence, you can get an idea of the confusion in my mind when I had to pick between options like would you rather go on a vacation with friends (oh! Yes please) or spend a few days lazing around at home doing whatever the hell you want (this one sounds tempting too)…both choices I would pick happily but which one to select?

So my question is this? Are we strictly either an extrovert or an extrovert? Is a middle ground possible in this case? That one day I am an extrovert and an introvert on the other depending on my current mood? Isn’t branding myself to be one be an insult to the other , which is also as much a part of my personality?

So I resort to everyone’s favourite agony aunt- Google of course!! And I came to know this very reassuring fact.

So seems am not a wierdo and THERE IS a term that aptly describes my personality type…AMBIVERT.

Yayyyyyy πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ.

But Wouldn’t it be wonderful if these stupid quizzes weren’t so stupid and actually gave us a clearer picture like you are x% extrovert and y% introvert and avoided such confusion that makes me scratch my head at 3 AM? Is that too much to ask from a mere algorithm that’s basically just interested in footfall to count how many people opt to take the quiz, nevermind the authenticity of the results? Well, enough thought, enough said, enough done. I am not going to spend my precious time being caught up in this dilemma any longer. To these quizzes I say, ‘first you be more thorough in your analysis, be more accurate in your results, then you can expect me to take part in your quiz’. Until then, I will refrain from branding myself as either. Rather I will embrace both sides with equal joy. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ’•πŸ’•

New year resolutions for 2021…

The new year had a rocky start,

Ex bestie decides to make a comeback,

But over the years we have grown apart,

So in a reconciliation, total interest I lack.

Putting it behind me, I decide to move ahead,

Not too late for some new year resolutions,

So I make a list of things to cut down on, starting with bread.

Add a point to clear my head and deal with all the confusions.

This year I vow to be punctual,
Be more disciplined, follow a strict routine..

Early to bed, early to rise shall be my daily ritual.

Try to eat less sugar and definitely cut down on caffeine.

I resolve to go on a healthy diet and lose some weight,

Do yoga, exercise or atleast a brisk walk everyday,

Will indulge in more of self love and less of hate,

To feel bright and positive in every way.

Will do better time management,

To maintain a healthy work life balance,

Stand my ground against bossy temperament,

And not get frustrated and suffer in silence.

I will strive to blog more, read more,

To stir up more storms in the kitchen…

To pursue new hobbies after completing daily chores,

No matter what comes my way, I will maintain calm and become more zen.

These are some of the promises I make to myself this year,

Let’s see how much I accomplish.

Will try to live healthy, be happy and live without fear.

For 2021, that’s really my only wish.

BFF…Best friends (NOT) forever..

I thought I will start 2021 with a positive blog like a new year resolution list (don’t we all love listing out things none of which we will perhaps accomplish)…. but I guess that wasn’t meant to be… something happened or rather ‘someone’ happened that made me feel like I need to write about it, and vent out in the process…

In school, we were known as the 3 musketeers, always together and absolutely inseparable. Shared lunches, all our secrets, were witnesses to our first crushes, boyfriends, graduation. I knew in my heart that I had 2 lifetime friends in them and no matter time, distance or anything else, nothing could separate us.

But then….life happened…our education and later work lives took us to different places..we promised to keep in touch and made it a point to meet when in town and spend as much time as possible. But gradually such meetups reduced, lies, complexities and insecurities increased,issues and misunderstandings piled up. Two of us found some common ground and stayed best friends like before, while the third leg of the tripod slowly started giving away..growing more distant and almost became someone that I felt like I barely knew. And after a point, I just stopped trying to figure out what was going wrong. And gradually but surely enough, we drifted apart. And now, it’s been so long since we last met or spoke that we are as good as strangers. Isn’t that just sad. But alas that’s the way it is.

And over time, I made my peace with it. After all we were besties when we were young, immature and life was much less complicated. And now we have become such different people with such different lives. We have nothing in common anymore. We are as good as strangers.

However, things took an interesting turn at the start of the year. This erstwhile bestie suddenly raises hell and declares a comeback. Incessant calls, messages on every social media I use. It was like I was being stalked 24/7.

I ignored for a while. But then contemplated talking out things with her. If not for anything, but just to honour the friendship we once had. And maybe she had realised things and had changed as a person. So I did start replying to some of her messages. To start a conversation and see where it goes. But pretty early on in the conversation, especially when she said things like ‘i don’t even know why you’re pissed’, I realized she was oblivious to all that she had done, all the times she truly hurt me, all the times she lied to me, broke my trust, helped my ex cheat on me, the countless times she said things behind my back…even after all these years, she was oblivious to her wrong doings and never admitted to any of those things.

It didn’t take me long to realise that we really couldn’t go back to being what we were, because the very foundation of any good relationship is Trust. And if I can’t trust her completely, what’s even the point of being friends? So with a heavy heart and a clear conscience, I wished her well and requested her to let things be. But She wouldn’t listen to any of it. It was like she was on a mission to mend things. Maybe it was one of her new year resolutions that I was just not letting her tick off.

I remained firm in my decision. Her non stop messages and calls have since subsided. I wonder if I did the right thing. But God knows, I have enough shit on my plate to be able to handle her drama. Maybe at another time, at another juncture in life, I would have been more patient and forgiving. But At this point in time, I just don’t have the energy or the patience to deal with this once-best friend-now attention seeking stranger. But I sincerely do wish her well and hope she can check off the remaining items from her new year resolutions list. 😐😐

“Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I’m glad for that.” – Ally Condie

Blame it on 2020…

Imagine, in a family of four, where the parents are overachievers and the older bro is a monumental failure of epic proportions, who is considered by parents to be an useless worthless imbecile, capable of no good and you’re the little brother. The one on whom the entire family’s expectations lie. The one who is their last or rather only hope of fulfilling all their dreams, aspirations and making their lives enriched and better in every aspect.

I cannot, for the life of me imagine to be in the shoes of the younger brother. If I were, I’d run as fast as I could and hide where I can’t be found, rather than be in the spotlight where I will be upon constant scrutiny, where my every move will be watched with waited breath by the family, with all their hopes of a better future pinned on my fragile shoulders. Every step taken would be assessed if it’s in the right direction. Every little setback, every little failure will be blown out of proportion as though it’s the beginning of doomsday alright. Living under the tremendous pressure of such huge expectations, with the constant fear of disappointing the family, of not living upto expectations, of not being everything they hoped for, Of being a failure just like the elder brother, if not worse. It would be just too much to bear. Well thankfully I am not and will never be in that sitation (bless my folks, am an only child, so I have no competition. I set my own benchmarks of failures and keep surpassing it year after yearπŸ˜›πŸ˜›), but seems like poor 2021 aint so lucky and seems to be that little brother in the scenario.

Since today is the last day of the worst year in recent memory, social media is flooded with all kinds of memes, hashtags that wishes good riddance and a final goodbye at last to 2020 and how eagerly everyone awaits the start of 2021. It clearly shows how people are just done with this year 2020 and the shitload of troubles it brought with it. And considering all that we have witnessed this year, it’s hardly any surprise that we have developed this animosity towards the year. So much so, that whatever bad happens, we are always quick to blame it on the year. Not considering the fact, that on some level, we have only ourselves to blame. But no, why take responsibility for our own actions when we can conveniently blame it on the year. Whether it’s the covid-19 pandemic, bushfires in Australia, floods in Indonesia, an earthquake in Turkey, or anything unfortunate in any part of the world, all the blame has been pinned on 2020, declaring it to be the Satan’s year, even though most of these calamities have had human greed and interference to be blamed as the root cause. But why take the onus on ourselves and make amends for the damage done when we can conveniently pass the blame..and so ever since the year started to take a turn for the worse, the year 2020 has been dissed and slammed like no other..I even saw a video where a guy talks about being dumped by his girlfriend. She blames it on his infidelity. He blames it on 2020. 🀣🀣

2020 Are you done?

But what’s really amusing is to see how people are so convinced that the moment the clock strikes midnight, 2020 will disappear for good and on its way out,it will also take with it all the problems that came with it (or rather the ones we have accused it of bringing but was actually our own doing). As if by magic, all our troubles will go away. Corona will disappear as mysteriously as it appeared, bushfires will stop on their own. Locusts will retreat. flood water will drain out. Hurricane struck uprooted trees will get back to their former glory. Homeless will get back their homes. Jobless will get back their jobs. Sick will regain their health. How wonderful to imagine and hope that all this will happen by a mere change in date. If only life worked like that. πŸ˜πŸ€·πŸ€¨πŸ™„

Hope 2021

But I guess a little hope never did any harm. And honestly we don’t have much else to go on with at this point. So here’s hoping that 2021 ain’t such a badass, lives upto expectations and treats us well. Happy new year y’allπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

Happy new year from me and mine to you and yours ❀️❀️