Are we getting addicted to loneliness?🤔

Events in the past few days have made me contemplate a lot on this topic. Before I go on any further, let me tell you what triggered this chain of thought.

I mentioned in one of my earlier posts (2022 seems to be a mixed bag so far…) that we shifted to a new house. This apartment comes with facilities like a pool, table tennis, snooker setups etc. None of which, my husband or I have ever used in these past months. Weekdays are consumed with work calls, meetings, long hours of sitting in front of the laptop. The remaining time, we prefer to waste it with mindless scrolling on various social media platforms, binge watching and just keeping busy with our phones and laptops. Weekends are filled with household chores, lazing around, maybe going out for dinner or catching a movie or an occasional meet-up with the few old time friends we have. This is our life, especially in the post covid life. And as you can tell, this kind of life and lifestyle doesn’t really give us the opportunity to meet too many new people and get new friends. Or so I thought!! Turns out, that’s just a bullsh*t excuse.

And how do I know that? Well, my in-laws came over. They usually stay with us for a few months every year. And my father in law absolutely hates it. Not because he doesn’t like living with us, but because he feels extremely lonely and isolated here. No friends, relatives or acquaintances to talk to, to meet and catch up over a cup of tea. So he either spends time talking with them on calls or telling us stories about them. And so, while he stays with us, he literally counts days before he heads back home to ‘his people’. This is how things have been all these years.

But this time, it has been different. Our apartment has a table tennis and snooker board. I had seen senior people playing there (i have never joined in, coz I don’t know how to play either of them). So one day, i suggested to him to go and try it out. And he did. Initially, he was reluctant and hesitant. But gradually he started going pretty regularly. Came back and told me about meeting this person, talking to that person. It’s been a few weeks now, and today he has a ‘friend circle’ here. Mostly comprising of retired, senior people, much like him. They play a few rounds of Table tennis, take a walk in the park, sometimes just sit and talk about their past jobs, travels, kids, grandkids. But this daily interaction of an hour or so, has brought about such a huge change in my father in law. He is definitely more upbeat, eats on time so that he is light and agile when he goes to play. Comes back and shares some interesting anecdotes shared by his ‘friends’. I have even seen him practice his shots in the air, in front of the mirror. The same man who would always crib about staying with us, away from his friends and relatives is now thinking of moving in permanently with us!! Thats the power of friendship and human connections.

As happy as i am about this change in him, it’s also making me wonder about my dwindling friend list. My father in law has made more friends in a week than I have in the last 3-4 years. Not on social media. I have a pretty solid count there. I have over 500 followers each on all the social media platforms, who like and comment on all my pics that display my ‘happy life’. But I am talking about real time friends. Friends we meet with or speak to regularly on phone, WhatsApp, facetime etc. People who actually know about what’s going on in our lives and not just what we post online. I am talking about the friends who know of our struggles, our downfalls, our lows, stuff that don’t go up on our social media walls. And am afraid, that count of real, true friends is rapidly dwindling for me. 😔😔

I look at the other same aged person in the house. My husband. He has/had a lot of friends. Friends from school, friends from college, friends from each company he worked in. And he is in touch with a lot of them. And yet he complains that he has no friends to hang out with these days.

So why is it that two 30-something, friendly, social people have such an acute shortage of friends, while a retired 70 year old man can make friends so easily? Are things like lack of communication, time constraints, hectic lives to be blamed for this draught in our friend finding quest? Or does the fault lie in us? 🤔🤔

I think the fault definitely lies with us. We have stopped putting in the one thing that makes all the difference. Effort. We don’t put effort anymore to maintain the relationships that we have built during our lifetime. We don’t put effort to communicate, to reach out, to find out how they are doing. We just see posts from people and assume they are fine. That they are happy. We don’t take it upon ourselves to reach out and have a real heart to heart conversation. I dont know about you, but i definitely don’t. Except for a handful of people, I just don’t make an effort to be in touch.

I would normally blame it on my hectic and demanding job, erratic work hours, late nights, household chores. Even covid. But truth is, I am happy in my own space. My safe little cocoon where I am left alone. I hate to admit it, but truth is, with age and the ups and downs of life, I have found solace in solitude, peace in my own concocted world, I have ended up finding comfort in my loneliness.

But i wonder, is it just me or is it the same with others too? Looking around, i feel it’s not just me. We have a common friend who lives in the same city but despite several texts to plan and meet up, he never steps out. When asked, he says he is too busy. But how busy can a millennial, single guy be? Especially on weekends? 🤔🤔

Seems like, these days we are so engrossed in our own lives, our own problems, that slowly we are losing interest in others. We are losing touch with people, losing interest in reaching out to others, sharing our problems or in knowing about their troubles. We don’t want to share our own feelings, we don’t want to know others’ problems as well. We just want to be left alone. Left alone to ourselves. Immersed in our loneliness. And loneliness is addictive. Once you get used to it, it’s difficult to get back to mainstream social life. And that is a dangerous thing. Coz we are after all social beings and this kind of isolation cannot be the norm I suppose.

What do you think? Are we, as a generation heading towards an unhealthy obsession with loneliness? Is it going to be the new normal going forward or is it time we pull up our socks and get out of this before we are rendered incapable of forming meaningful social bonds? Would love to know what you guys think.

A deadly affair: A rock concert. ME. And Pneumonia!!

Well to be honest, i had been working on another post, but the events that have unfolded in the past few weeks compelled me to write this one. After all, who doesn’t like a dark, twisted tale of fate. So here goes.

About 2 weeks back, my husband was browsing a site to check out the list of upcoming music concerts in our city. To our surprise, one of our favourite Dj (an internationally renowned one with many many hits to his credit) was slated to perform on the 15th April in our city. As soon as we saw this, our excitement was palpable and we booked tickets then and there, as it was something on both our bucket lists (yeah, we are those who take the bucket list pretty seriously and strive to check off items and then maybe add some more). It was gonna be epic and we were excited and ecstatic about it.

Coincidentally, the day of the concert was also our new year..while most would spend the day in ethnic wear, preparing and eating traditional delicacies, we were gonna spend the day drinking beer, jumping and head banging!! So on the D- day, we headed off to the venue, super excited. The venue was all set for the rock concert. It was an open air concert, and when we reached, the weather was cloudy, breezy and all seemed just perfect. Until..

It started raining!! Yepp, a few hours into the show when some of the other DJs were playing, it started drizzling. Like i mentioned, it was an open air venue, with absolutely no shades to hide under. And who on earth ever carries an umbrella or raincoat to a rock show. Adrenaline was high. So were our spirits (quite literally if you know what I mean 😜🍻🍻). So like the 20,000 others present, we too got drenched in the rain, enjoying the thrill and fun of it all. Thankfully the rain stopped after a while, but not before we were drenched considerably. But the show continued. And so did our enthusiasm. The show went well. We enjoyed immensely. But trouble started when we were searching for a ride back home. No cabs. For a whole 2 hours!! It was way past midnight when we somehow managed to get a cab at an exorbitant rate and ride back home. The show was great. We had fun. Our day went very well. Or so I thought. 😑😑

But the very next morning, I felt feverish. Over the course of the next few days, i got high fever and was coughing incessantly. Things started going downhill. By the 4th day, I knew this was not a seasonal fever and a visit to the hospital was calling. I listened to my body and my mother’s frantic calls about taking it seriously and get medical attention. And so we went straight to the ER. Once there, they immediately observed my oxygen levels were dipping and I was put on oxygen support. Had to be admitted and spent the next few days on oxygen support with a gazillion tests being done. When the reports came back, the doctors were in for a shock. So were we. I had got a severe chest infection. ‘you got pneumonia’ they said.

If you remember, i had mentioned in my earlier post (read 2022 seems to be a mixed bag so far…) i was down with Covid in February. I had mild symptoms and recovered without any major issues then. But turns out, my tryst with covid then had weakened my already f**ked up immune system and now this ‘whole getting drenched in the rain + staying drenched for several hours+ cold breeze at late night’ combination culminated into this horrible mess and I ended up in my 2nd home..the hospital. 😫😵

As i lay in the hospital bed, breathing in the oxygen-for-hire, watching the tensed faces of my parents, the bewildered look on my husband’s face and the exhausted look on my doctor’s face (he has been dealing with my medical antiques for years now), i couldn’t help but wonder at the absurdity of it all. Out of the 20,000 people at the concert, all were drenched, most faced the same predicament with the unavailability of cabs while returning, did anyone else face such a situation wherein they ended up in the hospital with a near fatal infection?? Of course, i don’t know the answer to that. But something tells me, i am probably the only (un)lucky one to be in this situation!! And to think that I was dreading a hangover the next day. How stupid am I?? 🙄🙄

Well, by god’s immense grace and my mother’s incessant prayers, i am now out of the hospital, recuperating at home. Taking medicines, doing my breathing exercises. Hoping my lungs recover soon from this nasty infection and once again attain their former glory of being perpetually high (on oxygen)!! Might take a while but hope to get there soon enough.

So what has this bizarre turn of events taught me?

A) If there is a slightest chance of the weirdest shit happening, and i am in the vicinity, then it will definitely happen (coz, just my luck)

B) I am extraordinary, so are my health issues. So take no chances, and head to the ER at the earliest.

C) Always carry an umbrella to an open air event!! Or anywhere for that matter.

D) No matter what, keep the humour alive, even if that means laughing at your own misfortunes.

So That’s what was keeping me busy the past few weeks. Hope you guys had it better. Much love to ya’ll 💕💕

Does Empathy make you a better friend?? 🤔

The other day, I came across a short video on YouTube about empathy. It basically said that those who have suffered in life, experienced loss, pain, grief etc undergo changes in their feelings and attitude towards others, all of which makes them more compassionate, more understanding, better listeners and in turn better friends, especially towards people who have had their share of ups and downs, challenges and ordeals. Basically, empaths turn out to be a godsent friend to someone whose lives have been less than rosy and far from perfect.

Among the hundreds of meaningless reels, vidoes we see everyday and swipe on to the next, there are very few that actually make an impact and stay on with you. This one did. And it made me reflect on the most important relationships I have (not too many unfortunately). Whether these people are empathetic or sympathetic and how has that changed our equation over the course of time.

Case 1-

Let me go back about a decade back, when I started my first job (damn, that makes me feel so old), I met this guy, a year junior to me. He was like an answer to all my dreams. Not romantic dreams!! But dreams to have a sibling. One with whom I can share all my joys and sorrows. Let’s call him Lil bro. We bonded instantly and were inseparable during those 3 years we spent working in the same team. We used to share everything about our personal lives, the mess that was our love lives back then, the heartbreaks we had endured and bitching about the idiots we dated then and before. We had formed a bond of a lifetime. He became the brother I never had and always wanted. He had a roommate who was also like a brother to me and we too bonded well.

Over the course of the next few years, Lil bro settled abroad, earned in dollars, married the girl who fulfilled all the criteria in his checklist (good looks, good looks and good looks), lived the American dream life. His flight of life had taken off and soaring high, while mine was on the runway briefly, but ultimately grounded for repair work and maintenance. (whoa, gotta admit, that was a good metaphor, wasn’t it?😆). Either ways, we got busy with our lives and eventually the frequency of calls and meet ups reduced.

Meanwhile, his roommate settled for a less lucrative job in his hometown. His father fell sick around the same time as I did. He came to meet me in the hospital several times. We kept in touch. I used to keep asking about his father’s health and he followed up on mine. His father passed away 2 years later. He was devastated. I used to message him daily to check up on him. He always asked me how I was feeling, how i was dealing with my changed circumstances. Whenever I go back home, we make it a point to meet, and whine, bitch, crib and also laugh at our miserable lives over delicious food and wine. Our trysts with sickness, ill health and the long drawn repurcussions of it made us both empathetic towards each other. We bonded over discussions based on hard, painful, uncomfortable topics.

As of today, I am in touch with both of them. But conversations with Lil bro (few and far apart) are usually about the good old days, all the fun parts. Nothing unpleasant. Nothing awkward, nothing heartfelt. Coz I somewhere feel that he won’t get it. By god’s grace, he hasn’t experienced anything so painful or suffered through any real tragedies. And while I am extremely happy for him, I do find it hard to relate to him these days. Whereas, i have grown much closer to his roommate. He has truly become a younger brother, a confidant, a supporter and a friend to whom I can rant about the unfairness of life as well as laugh over the silly things. Our brush with suffering, grief, pain, sickness and loss has helped us bond and cemented a friendship based on the unpleasantness of life. 💖💖

Case 2-

My cousin sister and I are of the same age and ever since we were little, we were inseparable. We were soul sisters even before we had heard or the word or knew what it meant. If she had a secret, i was the first to know. And vice versa. And it continued to be so till about college. Then work, marriage took us to different cities. Our lives took us on different paths. She got busy with work, husband, kid. I got busy with my shitshow of a life. We did keep in touch. But when I really needed a friend, a sister, she never reached out. Probably, her lack of similar experience or suffering, made it difficult for her to become an empath and reach out and offer support. As of today, we do talk on and off, but safe to say, that if she has a secret now, i am not going to be the first to know. Infact, i probably won’t know it at all. And same for me. 🤷

Case 3-

This is about yours truly. The past few years have been very challenging for me. Sickness, grief, loss, fear, anxiety have never left my side. I was always emotional and sensitive. But my life experiences have now made me over emotional and over sensitive. So the other day, my husband’s friend and his wife came over for dinner. I have met her 3-4 times in total. She’s cool and I like her. That night our general chitchat veered off to unchartered territory and she ended up sharing a lot about all the troubles in her married life. I guess my own life experiences have made me an empath as well, as I just sat there, listening to her, letting her vent, letting her ramble on. And Seeing her cry and narrate her ordeals just broke my heart. I advised her based on what I thought was right. And I do genuinely hope she can sort things out. 💔💔

Well these are just 3 instances i could think of, where the presence of empathy or the lack of it changed some of the relationships in my life. Where empathy created new bonds, formed new unexpected friendships, the lack of it depleted the closeness and the emotional attachment in existing relations. So yes, based on my personal experiences, i do think that empathy makes you a better friend. It makes you more sensitive to other people’s pain, their suffering. Because, you too have experienced the grief, suffering at some point, maybe of a different kind, maybe of a different intensity. But you do know what it feels like, when you’re down and out. Whether it’s failure or sickness or loss or just silent suffering, once you have experienced it, it’s easier for you to understand what the other person might be feeling. It makes you feel empathy and that empathy often makes you reach out and offer a shoulder to cry on or atleast lend an ear to listen to them rant, ramble, vent and sometimes, this act of reaching out and showing care and concern paves the way for a forever kind of friendship. 💖💖

What are your thoughts on this? Do you think empaths make better friends? Do let me know in the comments. Will look forward to reading them. Happy weekend friends 😊😊

Every one has a story to tell 📒

Everyone has a story to tell,

Of the hardships they faced and the obstacles they overcame,

Of the times they triumphed and the times they failed.

Of the times they were misunderstood and took on the blame and the shame.

Everyone has a story to tell,

Experiences that have changed them in some ways.

Either pushed them in their cocoons or made them a rebel.

But who are you to judge, who are you to say?

Everyone has a story to tell,

Of the trials and tribulations that made them who they are,

Each have embarked on their own journeys of discovering what’s their heaven and hell.

They maybe different than you, but doesn’t give you the right to call them bizzare.

Everyone has a story to tell,

Of the person they once were and the one they are now,

Bid your age old notions and pre conceived judgements farewell,

Instead try to appreciate all they have endured and how.

If you really want to know,

Get to know their stories, get to know who they really are,

Don’t demean, don’t discriminate, don’t judge and stoop so low.

Be kind, be understanding, be their hero, be their superstar!!

We are often so quick to judge. Whenever we come across anyone a bit different than us, immediately, and probably subconsciously, we form an opinion about them. It could be hatred, dislike, or even pity. Frankly, none of that is acceptable. All we have to do is get to know them as people, listen to their stories, learn from their life lessons, get inspired by their journey and their resilience towards all challenges, learn to empathise and not sympathize and finally to wholeheartedly accept people as they are. We just have to train our mind to be less judgemental and to be more open, more thoughtful, more compassionate. It’s not that difficult. Do let me know your thoughts on this. 😊💖💖

New beginnings 🏠

So I have been MIA (missing in action) from here for a while. Although I have been trying to read up all your posts as much as possible, but really never managed to write up a post. Not coz I have run out of ideas. Infact my draft has a number of posts on various topics that I started but couldn’t finish writing. Simply coz I was occupied with a lot of other things. So today, I am determined to write up a post to let you guys know what’s cooking here.

Well a number of things have been happening simultaneously. Work is crazy (as always 😣🤬). I was staying with my parents for a few weeks, living the house to the ‘able’ care of my husband. Big mistake!!! It’s been a few weeks that I am back home and am still putting things back to where they belong. I mean, how difficult is it to make tea and then put the container back in its place??!! 😣😣 Anyways, I digress. This post isn’t a rant about the tidiness of my husband or rather the lack of it. I think I should write an entirely separate post about that 😛😛

Coming back to the topic, so we have been house hunting for a while. Not buying, we still can’t afford it + it’s too much of a stress financially and mentally. But we were hoping to find a nice house to rent, that would be a little better than the current one. After many many visits with the broker and seeing many houses, I think we have finally found one that matches the picture we had in mind. Nicely done interiors, 2 balconies for my plant babies, a big kitchen, nice cozy rooms. We instantly fell in love with the house. But like every other thing in my life, nothing goes smoothly without a few hurdles and setbacks. So turns out, the owner is busy and somewhat of a pompous ass. His behaviour was a big turn off, but then he stays overseas and we will hardly have to interact much with him. And the house was too good to let go. So we sucked up and went ahead. And in a few days time we will be shifting. Hoping this new beginning will prove to be a good move for us. Fingers crossed. 🤞🤞🏠

Next up, we have been really busy arranging the packing and moving. That included selling some of our old, way overused and worn out furniture. Now if you haven’t had any experience selling used furnitures online, let me tell you, it’s a real pain in the ass. There are more scammers that real buyers and we too had our brush with a few of them. Thankfully, my friends and family warned me of this and insisted that we do all transactions in cash. Since we are shifting in a few days, I put up all the stuff for sale at dirt cheap prices. Most people who showed interest or bought them were actually shop owners who would take them, refurbish and sell the same stuff at much higher prices.

However, one evening a young boy came with his father to pick up the centre table. Upon asking, he mentioned that they too have a furniture shop but however, this particular table, they were gonna take it home. Over the past years, we have used this table for so many tea and chitchat sessions, shared innumerable laughs and made some good memories chilling with friends and family. And hearing this, I couldn’t help but think of the many cups of tea they too will share over this table and the many memories they would probably create and remember years later. It was going to be a new beginning for the little boy as well as my beloved centre table. I hope it finds itself in a house where there is warmth, love and many conversations. Au revoir old friend.🥰

For the past few days, I have been thinking of pursuing another passion of mine. Traveling. Yes, the last 2 years have been a bummer for most of us, putting all the major travel plans on the back burner. But if things don’t get worse, hopefully we will be able to step out and explore the world again. I have had the good fortune of traveling to some amazing places so far, and have heaps of pictures with me. So I have finally decided to start an Instagram page for all my travel photos. Been quite busy with that lately, regularly updating the page and getting it started. Interacting with fellow travel enthusiasts and seeing breathtaking pictures. Also, getting to see some really interesting photography techniques on several such pages. So yes, I am learning a lot and really liking the process of it. Looking forward to this new beginning.📸😊😊

So this is my new Instagram handle: Gibberishsayshello

Do take a look and let me know what you think of it. Will look forward to your feedback, my lovely WP fam 💝💝.

Some motivation for myself. Hope it inspires you as well. 😊😊

Set The Inner Child Free 🤩

As a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up,

To become my own master, act all grownup.

Adulting seemed like such a fantastic thing,

Now, it’s the childhood memories to which I cling.

I thought being an adult was so cool,

Now in hindsight, I can say I was but a fool.

I couldn’t wait to be done with books and studies,

Get a job and chill with my buddies.

But now I know, working long hours with a nagging boss ain’t no joke,

Irony is, no matter how much I earn, I am still broke.

And friends? The numbers gradually deplete,

Only a handful remember the birthdays and take out time to meet.

I yearned the freedom to take my own decisions,

To fulfil my ambition and chase after my passions.

Oh! The joy of earning my own money,

To find true love and call him honey!

But today, the many passions are left far behind,

Incessant meetings and work calls keep me confined.

Loving people left me hurt and broken,

Had so much to say, but all remains unspoken.

Now, looking back, I cannot help but feel,

Being an adult is nothing more than an ordeal.

I long for the carefree childhood days of unadulterated fun,

The endless laughter, bantering and responsibilities none.

I wish someone had told me the harsh realities of growing up back then,

If only I could go back in time again.

But alas that can’t be done,

So I’m thinking, why can’t the child and adult in me, both live as one?

When life gets tough, the inner child can be set free,

To worry less, laugh more, to remind myself it’s ok to just let things be.

Instead, why not smile at everyone, giggle without a reason, chase the butterfly,

Be funny, be silly, count the stars in the sky.

Let my inner child take over to walk away from the stress,

To find joy in the little things and seek happiness in a myriad ways!!

My Top 5 GO-TO Quotes 💡💕

Words have an impact on all of us…I guess that’s why so many of are here, writing, reading, learning. Because words leave an impression. They can make us happy, they can make us sad, they can make us nostalgic, and even enrage us at times. They can also inspire us, motivate us, or definitely make us think and reflect. These words can be lines from a poem, dialog from a movie, or even a quote said by famous personalities or one made famous by popular culture.

So in this post, I thought I will share some of my favourite quotes, which I carry with me in my heart and remind myself of, whenever needed. Here goes.

1. PEOPLE WILL NEVER TRULY UNDERSTAND SOMETHING UNTIL IT HAPPENS TO THEM.

I truly believe that for someone looking outside in, they can never really understand exactly what you’re going through. Especially, if they haven’t been in the same or atleast similar circumstances. At best, They can try to understand, they can sympathize, they can empathize. But no-one will really know the storm brewing in your mind, body or heart unless they have been in the exact same situation. And if you see it logically, it kinda makes sense too. How can anyone know a certain feeling or a certain pain when they haven’t experienced anything close to that themselves. So it will be wrong on my part to even expect that. So when I am going through some major shit and someone (with good intentions), says stuff like ‘I understand’, or ‘I feel you’, when I know they have no clue what it feels like, earlier my inner voice would be like ‘No dude, you don’t understand, you have no idea what it’s like, so don’t talk shit and Shut the F*** up 😡🥊’. But remembering this quote restores the zen in me and makes me say ‘Thanks🙏😊’ instead. Saves some pretty nasty fights I’d say.

2. DON’T COMPARE YOUR LIFE TO OTHERS. THERE’S NO COMPARISON BETWEEN SUN AND THE MOON. THEY SHINE WHEN IT’S THEIR TIME.

Most of us have this terrible habit of comparing ourselves with others. Could be comparison of looks, health, wealth, good fortune et al. And end up feeling terrible seeing others doing so well while we are heading nowhere. I am guilty of this too. But when I came across this quote, it really made me realise that each of us have our own journeys, our own struggles and our own time to shine and thrive. It’s really not fair to compare myself to someone more successful (for example) when I have no idea how hard that person must have worked to get there. And that he/she must have struggled way more than me to achieve what they have got. So all I have to do is remind myself that now is their time to shine. If I have a goal and work towards it, tomorrow will be my time to shine.🌞🌞

3. LET IT HURT, LET IT BLEED, LET IT HEAL, LET IT GO.

We all get hurt, either by people or our circumstances. Holding onto those grudges only makes us bitter and cynical. It keeps us from being happy or content. So whenever anything or anyone Hurts me, I give myself some time to process it, maybe even cry it out and then to eventually try to let go of the emotional baggage coz it really serves me no purpose dragging it around and getting bogged down by the pressure of it. Of course it doesn’t come so easily always. But then we are all works in progress, aren’t we? So I keep telling myself this: Let Go and Break free. 🙂

4. WE’RE ALL IN THE SAME GAME; JUST DIFFERENT LEVELS. DEALING WITH THE SAME HELL; JUST DIFFERENT DEVILS.

I just love this quote. We are all going through some difficulties or the other, maybe we don’t know it, we don’t realise it. But we are. Every one has their own devils to deal with. So no judgement, no comparison. Just keep going. Life is one big complicated mess and we are all riddled with some trouble or the other. Do your best, face your own challenges, try your hardest to overcome them and move ahead. So even in our bad times, we are not alone. Someone might be having it better right now, but some others are going through worse. Always remember that.

5. THIS TOO SHALL PASS

Saved my most favourite quote for the last. I derive a lot of strength from this one. Whenever I am low, I keep telling myself this, over and over again. Nothing is permanent. Bad times don’t last forever. They will give way to better days and happier times. Just be patient and sail through the storm. Have faith in your heart. Know that This too shall pass. 💗💗

So these were my 5 favourite quotes that give me strength, courage and hope. I hope they resonate with you all. What are your favourite quotes? Please share in the comments. I’d love to read them and maybe add to my list of favourite quotes.

Stay strong. Be happy. Love to you all 💕💕💕💕

Fleeting life….

Life is so truly unpredictable,

One moment you’re planning things,

Engulfed in life’s hustle and bustle,

The next, you’re flying upto heaven with angel wings.

It’s true, we come alone and go alone.

Yet we totally forget this stark truth,

And chase money, luxury and the throne,

When all we need is for the boat of life to sail smooth.

The wealth we earn isn’t ours to take,

We go empty handed when we leave,

All that matters are the good deeds we do, the friends we make,

And all the bonds, connections and relationships we weave.

What really counts is all the hearts we touched,

The wrongdoers we forgave, the ones we selflessly helped,

The people we loved, the ones with whom we laughed,

The challenges we overcame and the gamut of emotions we felt.

So remember this my friend,

‘A good life means acquiring riches’ is a complete fallacy,

Coz ultimately, at the very end,

The love we give and the memories we create and leave behind, is our true legacy. 💖💖

This poem is in fond memory of my uncle who passed away a few days back. Losing him was definitely tragic, but more than that, it was completely unexpected and caught us all by surprise. And such events really compel one to take a step back and think hard. And realise how truly unpredictable life is. One moment you’re here and the next moment You’re gone. The huge turnout at his funeral was a testament to the man he was and the love people had for him. And it made me realise that a well lived life is truly all about love, kindness and empathy. What do you think? Do share your thoughts. Much love to all of you. 💗💗

The View From the Top

There’s something about this view,

That always leaves me spellbound,

Every angle, every direction I look, there’s something new,

I wish I could explore more, if only I was not strapped and chair bound.

I keep trying to see things in these clouds,

Any shapes and figures my mind can conjure,

Seems ethereal, like a mystical mystery it shrouds,

That makes me look out in amazement and ponder.

The soft, fleecy clouds floating about,

To my inner child’s imagination, could be a million scoops of icecream,

Or sometimes, my devout heart can see God’s divine rays peeking out.

Other times, my logical mind can only marvel at the Creator’s scientific genius, while the poet in me can simply stare and dream.

Myriad thoughts, endless emotions,

Gives a chance for me and the infinity to converse.

Every time I am flying through the clouds, I feel like I am entranced with some magic potion,

Coz I am always left in awe of the magnificence and humbled by magnanimity of the universe.

I have been fortunate to fly many times in my life. Yet the view from the top never ceases to amaze me. ⛅☁️❤️ The pristine white clouds floating by, maintaining perfect balance, stretching as far as my eyes can see till the horizon, always casts a spell on me. And unless it’s a very early morning flight (in which case I am probably sleeping even before takeoff 😂😂), I am always looking out, soaking in the beauty of the sky, lost in a plethora of thoughts and sometimes remembering to capture some pictures that can help in day dreaming when I am back to mundane life on land..what are your thoughts when you’re flying? What do you think about? Please tell me in the comments. You know it wouldn’t hurt to know there are a few crazies out there just like me 😊💟

M.I.S.T.A.K.E.S

They say mistakes make us humans,

Makes us realise no man, no plan is perfect,

It smashes the superiority, breaks all supremacist delusions.

Makes us start from scratch, inspect, introspect and to a new plan deflect.

They say we learn from our mistakes,

But what if mistakes become the norm,

Do we have what it takes,

To look within, learn the lesson and transform?

They say mistakes make a man stronger.

The lower he falls, the higher he can rise,

Repeatedly being knocked down builds determination to fight longer,

It makes him patient, but does it make him wise?

They say mistakes make a man perfect.

Each mistake becomes a life lesson, a stepping stone to do things right,

Gives the opportunity to reassess and plan a course correct,

To put up a good fight to avoid past blunders and remain morally upright.

They say how we correct our mistakes truly define who we are,

Our resilience and tenacity after every mistake shows our true character,

The greatest lessons don’t come from a saint or a preacher.

It is our mistakes, that is infact the best TEACHER.

In The Race Of Life, which medal do you want? 🥇🥈🥉

As most of you must be aware, Tokyo Olympics 2020 just came to an end recently followed by the Paralympics, where the best athletes from all around the globe competed to win the much coveted medals and make their countrymen proud of their heroic efforts and achievements.

When I was a kid, I loved watching the Olympics. So many different events. So many people from all over the world competing. To this day, I am quite an avid follower (although I am hardly a sportsperson myself. Maybe I would be, if being a couch potato was a sport 😂😂). I may not have the time to watch all of it anymore, but I do check the highlights every day. It’s not just the competition that appeals to my heart. Its always been the burning fire in their eyes, the passion to bring all their years of hardwork and dedication to fruition and also some exemplary acts of sportsmanship, friendship and respect for each other. Any form of sports can really teach us a lot about all such virtues which we can learn from and try to inculcate in our own lives, even off the field.

I particularly like reading about the winners and their journey. The many obstacles and hurdles most of them have managed to overcome to come and compete on this global level. Whether it’s physical disabilities, poverty, discrimination, exploitation, racial and gender biases, each one have their own struggles and their own journeys, each of which is absolutely inspirational and really admirable.

During one such reading spree, I came across a very interesting article about a rather bizarre sight quite often seen in the Olympics as well as in other sporting events. It’s called something like ‘Sad Silver Face’ or ‘Sad Silver Syndrome’

In the various pictures taken of the medal winners, it was seen that the Gold and Bronze winners had the brightest smiles while the Silver winners are often seen sulking, brooding or frowning. They have a look of disdain, disappointment, dejection or even anger in some cases. Isn’t it wierd that this person is being awarded the 2nd best position in his/her game and yet somehow they’re not happy or satisfied? And right next to them, is another person, who has achieved lesser (bronze winners) but is still so much happier.

This is because the Silver medalist actually Lost the match to the Gold medal winner. That’s why they look so disappointed. Because in their minds, they keep going over their own mistakes, analysing where they went wrong. They keep wondering how different and wonderful things would be, if the game had ended in their favour. If only they had not made that tiny mistake, if only the opponent had conceded a point. This constant comparison with the one who fared better, really depletes any joy of their own victory. They are so preoccupied with the what ifs, that often times, they don’t value the precious and historic moment that they have actually created for themselves. And hence the ‘Sad Silver Faces’. 🥈😩😖😟😡😭

On the other hand, there are the Bronze medal winners. They achieve a spot on the pedestal by WINNING against their opponent. Unlike the top 2, securing a medal is not guaranteed for them. It’s either a medal or no medal. Either they get to kiss a medal and secure their place in the history of the sports or they go home empty handed with so much regret and disappointment. So when they defeat their opponents to secure the Bronze medal, their happiness understandably knows no bounds. And that’s why they are often seen to be smiling from ear to ear, celebrating and enjoying every moment of it. 🥉😊😄🥳🎉

I guess we can also relate this to our own lives. Its all a matter of perspective. Just like the silver medal winners, most of us are so busy looking and comparing to those that have more than us, that we forget how far we ourselves have come, how much we have achieved. We forget to appreciate what we have and be thankful for all the good in our lives. Constant comparison with someone who has more or has it better, only diminishes the quality of our lives. It takes away from our own accomplishments, contentment, happiness and peace of mind. For the few wise ones who adopt the bronze winner mindset, they will definitely be happier, be more in the moment, savour every minute and celebrate every little accomplishments along the way. Be thankful that at least they came this far.

Look at the dazzling smiles on the Gold and Bronze winners and the disappointed look of the Silver medal winner.

So, in this race called LIFE, which medal winner do you wanna be? Do tell in the comments. 💖💖

Is Ignorance truly Bliss??🤔

Would you rather live in ignorance,

Or would you instead a take a chance,

To face your biggest fears,

That could totally break you and shatter your near and dears?

Would you wait and wait longer,

Or would you face reality and come out stronger?

Would you just ignore your imminent troubles?

Or rather come out of your pretend-to-be-happy bubble,

And face the reality that awaits,

Just ready to barge in and desecrate

Everything that you hold dear,

And make all the little joys disappear.

The truth is seldom pleasant,

But the fear is omnipresent.

So i wonder out loud, is it better to continue to live in denial,

Or to muster the courage and face whatever ‘reality monster’ awaits and fight for your survival?

Have you ever felt like this? Like you’re so scared of the outcome that you prefer to live in denial rather than face the music?…it could be a breakup or a visit to the doctor or a thesis submission or any other situation that needs to be addressed and dealt with, but there’s always the possibility that things won’t go your way and will have significant consequences that might adversely affect the course of your future. So, instead of just getting done with it, we just sit on it, too afraid of what the outcome might be. On the surface, everything is normal, everything is mundane, but underneath the veneer of normalcy, there lurks a hidden fear, that just eats you up little by little. Have you ever been in such a predicament? I know I have. And it’s not a happy state to be in. Would love to know your thoughts and how you handled it..Much love to all of you fighting such secret battles 💟💟

Can you?

Can you miss what you don’t have?

Can you drown in water if your head is still above?

Can you mourn what you haven’t lost?

Can you walk away from what you value the most?

Can you imagine what can never be?

Can you touch what you can’t see?

Can you hear the laughter and chuckle that isn’t there?

Can you feel the presence of the non existent everywhere?

Can you smell the fragrance that will not pervade your life?

Can you deal with the ever growing internal strife?

Can you envision the life ahead that will never be your reality?

Can you ever really accept your life and all its inherent abnormality?

Can you?

Would you like a DO-OVER?🤔💭

Last night I was watching the new Netflix film ‘The woman in the window’, and while the movie was not that great (Amy Adams totally brilliant though), there was one scene that kind of stayed on with me….ok don’t wanna give out too much details in case you haven’t watched it and want to, but there is this one scene, where she records her thoughts on video..and she keeps saying that she wants to go back in time and do over things.

Got me thinking, don’t we all wish that we could go back in time and UNDO a few things…a few mistakes, a few bad decisions, few twists of fate. Wouldn’t it actually be wonderful to revisit these key moments in life and have a chance to RE-DO the same, but this time differently and see how that pans out.

As I started thinking about it, my mind was already making a list, and I sort of indulged it to live vicariously through this list. So these are the top things that made it to my make believe DO OVER list (in no particular order):

* I wish I could redo my childhood and had forced my parents for a sibling, so that they would have someone else to worry about and someone else to worry for them. 😅

* I wish I could undo the many months of pining over my first heartbreak…now in retrospect, it seems like such an epic waste of precious time crying over a guy and a relationship that really didn’t deserve so much fanfare from me…I could have used that time constructively to do so much more…like working on myself, learning new technology to enhance my career or maybe even casually dating some hot guys 😜

* I wish I could undo the terrible decision of leaving my first job. Had I stayed on even for a few months, I would have been settled abroad like the rest of my teammates. Talk about bad timing. 🙄

* I wish I got a chance to undo the twists of fate that ended up setting me off to a hospital so many times.

* I wish my body was not this unruly little pest doing whatever the hell it feels like, and that it behaved and stayed in its permissible limits and not cause so much drama. 😏

* I wish (and this I wish on behalf of everyone) that I could undo this scary pandemic that has taken over our lives and brought life to a standstill. Wish I could send it back to wherever the hell it came from and that we could have our old lives back. When I could go out, meet friends, travel, chill rather than staying at home, scared and paranoid. 😣

I know some of the above mentioned do-overs aren’t really in my control like the health issues, pandemic etc, but then so is the list…I can’t actually undo any of them. So why not list out the unpleasant events in my life and indulge in some wishful overthinking and fantasizing about the what ifs. 💭💭

Now one might say that everything that happens in our lives, good or bad, makes us the person we are right now. True. But then, who’s to say this current version of me is the best version possible? Honestly, I think I would be much better off without some of these things happening. I could be happier, I could be more content, more successful, my life could be more fulfilling.

The only consolation- Maybe things are not as great as they could have been, but then, they could have been much much worse. And for that, I am grateful. 🙂

What are some of the items in your DO-OVER List? Do mention it in the comments. Would love to read them all 💕💕

Is there a secret formula to a happy marriage?? 🤔🤔

The other day the husband got a Call from his bud…asking to meet for drinks and that he needed ‘to talk’. Upon his return (and some nudging), I came to know that their marriage has hit a rough patch and catching up for drinks was just an excuse to find a friendly ear to vent out the pent up frustrations and discuss the hell that his married life has turned into.

And this is not the first friend with marital woes… recently reconnected with one of my college buddies and he too complained of trouble in paradise…surprised me because he is one of the nicest, coolest person I know. Plus, he is married for less than a year….and here I was, assuming he is too busy enjoying his honeymoon period to bother about old friends…

Tales of such marital discord definitely stays on longer in a woman’s mind than a man’s. I say this with some certainty seeing the nonchalance on my husband’s part and quite the opposite on mine 😛.

When you hear so much about trouble in other people’s married lives, you are bound to take a good, hard look at your own…wonder if all is indeed well…if you are really, truly happy or it’s a just a superficial facade while it’s rotting underneath?….is the pandemic to be blamed for this? Are people unraveling under the pressures of being stuck at home with each other 24/7 and that is causing all the pent up issues to come to the surface? I mean, before covid walked in, we all had busy lives, going to work, commuting, socializing with friends, colleagues..and barely had enough time to spend with our spouses….now we spend every waking moment seeing them around..

Now, neither am I any expert nor my marriage is perfect, but my husband and I have been together for almost 9 years now…dated for 5 and married for 4..and in these 9 years we have gone through stuff that most people face in their entire lifetime..sickness, loss, grief, financial struggles, and of course a pandemic (who can forget that)….the ride has often been extremely difficult, tempestuous and at times turbulent…more so for the circumstances than anything else. Like 2 people stranded on a little boat caught in a storm in the middle of the sea (remember Life of Pi people?), braving the weather and the adversities that come with it…in short, we have been sailing our way through some serious shit. Anyways, that’s a tale for another day and another post.

My point is, I always thought, that marriage or any romantic relationship for that matter, stands on 3 pillars , much like a tripod stand on its 3 legs, namely
LOVE, LUST and FRIENDSHIP.
Of course, that’s oversimplifying a very complex dynamics but this was just how I categorised it as per my understanding when I was young, naive and perhaps stupid.

But, over the years, I have realized that perhaps this formula isn’t foolproof. Lets be honest, lust decreases after a point. After years together with the same person, the passion and intensity dwindles, some amount of monotony sets in (if that’s not the case with you…damn you make me jealous😜😜).
For love, I’d say it kinda plateaus out, meaning it reaches the peak and then flattens out, which is a good thing as it means it’s consistent (OK, have to admit this idea is borrowed. The husband said it one day and it just stuck with me🤫🤫). You don’t get butterflies in your stomach every time he walks in, or you don’t blush at every compliment and compliments themselves are few and far between 🙄🤨. But it’s the third leg that actually keeps the ball rolling – friendship.

Think about it, it is friendship that makes us comfortable with each other. If you’re better friends, chances are you’ll talk more, share more, communicate more, maybe even fight more and get things out of your system. You will enjoy each others’ company more and understand where each one stands on certain matters. And it will definitely make these stuck-at-home-pandemic-days more bearable. Of course there are many other factors such as trust, respect, loyalty etc at play. But broadly speaking, sustaining a happy , healthy relationship definitely lies in becoming better friends. That is assuming the other 2 factors remain constant. Coz a friendly-but-cheating partner does no good to this formula 🙄😕😎🤬😡

That’s just my opinion of things as I see it right now…do let me know if you agree or disagree. Peace 😊✌️

Love thy Neighbour..or at least know them!!

The pandemic has affected different people in different ways.. but for most of us, I can say with some confidence , that it has made us homebodies. We have realized there’s a certain joy in working from home dressed in our old, worn out tee and PJs and we ain’t getting out of them any time soon…move over Gucci, Versace…the new fashion trend is here to S-L-A-Y 😀😀

There was a time when home was where we returned to at night, after a hectic day at work, to sleep at night. Or the place where we spent our lazy weekends, just resting, rejuvenating. Charging up our batteries for the crazy work week ahead. The time when Monday blues was indeed a real thing..a real feeling. Thanks to Covid, the home is now our safety net. Our fortress that ensures the enemy stays outdoors (mostly). Initially, like many of you, I struggled to cope with this huge change in my life and daily routine. Always staying indoors. Getting used to living 24/7 in this confined space took a while. But now, a year later, there’s no place I’d rather be. ❤️🏠

These days, the very thought of going out, getting out of my PJs and looking at the wardrobe trying to remember all the clothing (heaps of it) I own itself is tiring. I do enjoy the walks in the terrace and the occasional grocery shopping (rest is all ordered online), but for the most parts, I have kind of found solace in this forced isolation. I have learnt new things, developed new hobbies, rekindled old passion with the paint brush (not the ex🤪) . Long story short, I find ways to keep myself as engaged and occupied as possible.

This transition has been somewhat bearable due to the technology at our disposal primarily Internet, smartphones, social media…thanks to them, we can still be connected to our friends and family, get work done (lots of it) and have some semblance of normalcy in this unprecedented time in the history of the world..

But once a while, I too am stuck with pangs of loneliness. Wanting to actually sit and chat with someone. Get to know them. Share a cup of coffee. Chat. Have a hearty laugh. Those times I crib endlessly to my husband, who looks at me with disbelief, that I still feel the need to talk more, in addition to the endless chitchat I forcefully engage him in daily😂😂.

The other day, while on a quick grocery shopping spree, I bumped into my new neighbor. I had an important work call to get to, so the interaction was very brief, and I did not even pay much attention to what she said as I had to run back home to make it to the call. So I just said ‘nice to meet you, do drop by sometime’ and went my own way without much thought into it. And frankly, I just said it as a courtesy and did not expect to meet her unless we bumped into each other in the elevator once again some other time.

But it was a pleasant surprise when she came by to say ‘Hi’ with a box of cupcakes (how could I not invite her in with a big smile after that 😛)…and we started talking…turns out we are from the same city, about the same age, speak the same language, have similar crazy hectic work lives, both struggling to manage work and household chores…just so much to relate to. And this time I was so engrossed in the conversation that time just flew by and when she said she had to leave, I realized we were chatting for almost an hour!!

This sudden visit from my new neighbor left me with several realizations. Thing is, I had heard they moved in into a flat on the same floor a few weeks back. But never bothered to go meet them, introduce ourselves, you know.. be the good neighbors.Yeah that’s how busy, preoccupied and self serving we millennials are. 🙄🙄 Even when I was cribbing about feeling lonely and craving company, I never thought of reaching out. I should have. Especially now more than ever, when going out to meet friends and cousins may not be wisest thing to do. But am glad she did. Before leaving, she asked me to visit her sometime. I said ‘Yes, definitely. I’d love to’. This time I meant it and fully intend to follow through.

I was looking for a friend and it was waiting right next door!! How wierd yet how wonderful. Here’s looking forward to a new friendship 🥂😊

Cloudy.

It’s a cloudy day today,
And so is my mood.
Some things don’t feel right,
While others still feel good.

It’s just one of those days when I sulk and brood,
If you rub me the wrong way I can even be rude,
I feel like hiding under my hood,
Today, just today, just stop messing with me dude.

Reflecting on the things I have to do and the things I should,
Realize nothing much of that will happen, if to meetings and deadlines I remain glued,
If only the fretting and overthinking stopped, if only it could,
I know that would help a great deal in getting me out of the woods.

I need a generous dose of happiness,
To feel better, to uplift my grumpy mood,
Can chocolate do the magic? Hell it sure could.
Suddenly I hear it…a faint thunder roll in the distance…and a few precious raindrops on the window pane,
And I know for sure..God has rewarded me with an instant feel good. 🙂🌧️⛈️

Long distance Friendship…

Let me start by saying that this is NOT a review of ‘Firefly Lane’, the latest drama series from Netflix, but rather about my experience while watching it- the many flashbacks, the many reflections and contemplations…in short this post is about my personal experience with the series.. however there might be some spoilers so if you haven’t seen it and want to see it, then perhaps you should come back after watching and that way I am sure you will be able to relate to it much more.

So this is a story about a chance encounter between 2 teenaged girls. Two people Who couldn’t be more different. While one is the school hottie, the other is a total nerd (loved her oversized glasses 🤓) and how gradually they become best friends for life. The series unfolds in 3 timeframes starting from their teenage years, to their 20s all the way upto their 40s..giving us a peak into their lives and personalities and how they grow and evolve with time.

Note: To all of you who are 70’s and 80’s kids…man I envy you….that was such a cool time to be a young adult… rebellious and free and ready to take on the world 😎😎

The story delves into several sensitive issues such as homosexuality and the social stigma around it which is still prevalent today, drug abuse, difficult pregnancies, infidelity,mid life crisis, office politics, exploitation at workplace, sibling rivalry, generation gap between parents and children especially teenagers, loss of a loved one, grief and how different people cope with it differently. All of these issues are woven seamlessly into the story and dealt with maturely and sensitively. Yet at the heart of it, it’s a story about friendship and how truly important it is in our lives.

The series made me reflect on my friendship with my best friend. Just like the 2 protagonists, we couldn’t be more different. She is fiercely independent and ambitious, determined to achieve great things, while I am more easy going, laid-back. My talent for procastrination is legendary. She can vouch for that 😂. Watching the series took me back in time, remembering the first time I met my bestie in 6th grade. Never thought we would be friends, let alone be best friends even after all these years. It reminded me of all the crazy things we would do like bunking classes and secretly chilling at the bottom of the stairs. Oblivious to the world and the teacher’s wrath. It reminded me of the dire need to discuss each and every miniscule thing with her. Praying for her to approve and get along with the boyfriend in college. Discussing and dissecting every fight, every heart break, every family gossip. Just pouring my heart out to her. Coz, as different as we were and still are, she gets me. She understands me like no other.

However, as I binge watched the whole series over the weekend, there was one thing I envied about their friendship. One thing they didn’t have and we do. Distance. Coz we have spent majority of the 2 decades of friendship living in different countries. Although that hasn’t stopped us from being there for each other during the good times and the bad. No. Never. We have always been an integral part of each others’ lives. Breakups, college, marriage, sickness, jobs..we have been with each other during all such milestone moments. But it’s the little things that we miss out on. Like if one of us had a shitty day at work, we can’t meet up, vent and then forget the blues while watching a chick flick together. If I am feeling low, I can pick up the phone and talk to her but I won’t get to hug her and feel the world is not so bad after all. If she had a bad day, I can only say ‘it will be okay’, but I can’t give her a surprise visit with her favourite food to cheer her up….I realized that we indeed do miss out on these little, precious moments ☹️☹️

Firefly lane may have its flaws but one thing it does get right..is the portrayal of friendship…it will make your heart crave for a friendship as strong as theirs. And if you are fortunate enough to have such a friend, it will make you love and value them even more. And if they are far away, it will make you reach out for your phone to call them and talk to them and tell them how much you love them. 💕💕

Here’s one of my favourite quotes on friendship from the film Bride wars…which I also quoted on my bff’s wedding day 😊

Introvert or Extrovert?? 🤔

Unless you’re living under a rock, am sure you all must be well acquainted with Facebook and the many varied quizzes that come up in your feed…what’s your spirit animal, which character of game of thrones are you, are you a hills or beach person, which character from Friends sitcom do you resemble the most, how good is your grammar, which celebrity will be your ideal partner (please let it be Ryan Gosling😍)… etc etc…I have done and enough and more of such stupid quizzes in the past for some time pass and these days I am done with them and skip right through them…after all they are just frivolous and hardly make sense. However last night, I came across a quiz ‘Are you an introvert or Extrovert?’ that piqued my interest and I decided to give it a go.

But this time I was in for a surprise. Each question was on the lines of ‘would you rather do this or that’, ‘do you prefer this over that’. And the options given were such that I just couldn’t make up my mind. And that’s wierd right..coz you are either this or that…you are either a very bubbly, talkative person who is a delightful social presence or just the idea of meeting so many people makes you feel sick in the stomach and you would rather just curl up in a blanket with a good book and a steaming cuppa coffee. But when I looked at the given options, I was like ‘damn I wanna do all those things, which one do I select??’ 🤔🤔

It might sound funny, but for a few minutes, these questions baffled me so much and made me scratch my head and almost gave me an existential crisis…that if I couldn’t answer such a basic question about myself, of whether I am an introvert or Extrovert, then how do I answer the more serious questions like Who am I? What Am I? 😖😣😳😨

Because the thing is, that as an outsider, if you meet me you will definitely consider me an extrovert. And rightly so. I love talking. And like to engage in conversation. Which is why it sometimes infuriates me when 100 words out of me just invokes a ‘hmm’ or an ‘OK’ from my husband 🤬😣. It just kills my vibe and makes me scowl and fume. Anyways, coming back to the topic, whether it borders on office gossip or some family scandal or just any random discussion on politics, weather, life in general, I am always ready to chip in with my words of wisdom 😇. And it really doesn’t matter if I know you from kindergarten or we just met 2 minutes ago…I am equally at ease (unless you’re some hottie trying to hit on my husband…then you get my scowl rather than my dazzling smile 🙄🤨😕). I so look forward to the occasional nightouts with us pub hopping, dancing away till the wee hours (I am talking about pre covid times here). Now all these things are textbook definition of an extrovert, and that’s what I always considered myself to be.

However, there is also a less publicised side of me, that’s quieter, loves the solitude, spending time with just myself without talking to anyone, having important conversations in my head about the significant as well as the trivial. Soaking up the quietness, the peace and tranquility. Ideally, that’s what early mornings feel like (so am told, I have no idea 😛), but for me it’s the silence of the night when it’s past everyone’s bedtime. That’s my time to thrive. To read, to blog, to make imaginary travel plans, to think about life, career, family, Friends, myself. To reflect on the past, think of the present and contemplate the future. Sometimes, even during the day, I might be in such a mood where I would happily pass off an offer to check out the latest pub or cafe as I don’t feel like bantering away. And prefer a day out just with myself. Lazing around. Listening to my favourite songs. Just enjoying my own company to recharge and rejuvenate. Now isn’t that textbook definition of an introvert? 🤔🤔

Hence, you can get an idea of the confusion in my mind when I had to pick between options like would you rather go on a vacation with friends (oh! Yes please) or spend a few days lazing around at home doing whatever the hell you want (this one sounds tempting too)…both choices I would pick happily but which one to select?

So my question is this? Are we strictly either an extrovert or an extrovert? Is a middle ground possible in this case? That one day I am an extrovert and an introvert on the other depending on my current mood? Isn’t branding myself to be one be an insult to the other , which is also as much a part of my personality?

So I resort to everyone’s favourite agony aunt- Google of course!! And I came to know this very reassuring fact.

So seems am not a wierdo and THERE IS a term that aptly describes my personality type…AMBIVERT.

Yayyyyyy 💃💃.

But Wouldn’t it be wonderful if these stupid quizzes weren’t so stupid and actually gave us a clearer picture like you are x% extrovert and y% introvert and avoided such confusion that makes me scratch my head at 3 AM? Is that too much to ask from a mere algorithm that’s basically just interested in footfall to count how many people opt to take the quiz, nevermind the authenticity of the results? Well, enough thought, enough said, enough done. I am not going to spend my precious time being caught up in this dilemma any longer. To these quizzes I say, ‘first you be more thorough in your analysis, be more accurate in your results, then you can expect me to take part in your quiz’. Until then, I will refrain from branding myself as either. Rather I will embrace both sides with equal joy. 🤗🤗💕💕

Blame it on 2020…

Imagine, in a family of four, where the parents are overachievers and the older bro is a monumental failure of epic proportions, who is considered by parents to be an useless worthless imbecile, capable of no good and you’re the little brother. The one on whom the entire family’s expectations lie. The one who is their last or rather only hope of fulfilling all their dreams, aspirations and making their lives enriched and better in every aspect.

I cannot, for the life of me imagine to be in the shoes of the younger brother. If I were, I’d run as fast as I could and hide where I can’t be found, rather than be in the spotlight where I will be upon constant scrutiny, where my every move will be watched with waited breath by the family, with all their hopes of a better future pinned on my fragile shoulders. Every step taken would be assessed if it’s in the right direction. Every little setback, every little failure will be blown out of proportion as though it’s the beginning of doomsday alright. Living under the tremendous pressure of such huge expectations, with the constant fear of disappointing the family, of not living upto expectations, of not being everything they hoped for, Of being a failure just like the elder brother, if not worse. It would be just too much to bear. Well thankfully I am not and will never be in that sitation (bless my folks, am an only child, so I have no competition. I set my own benchmarks of failures and keep surpassing it year after year😛😛), but seems like poor 2021 aint so lucky and seems to be that little brother in the scenario.

Since today is the last day of the worst year in recent memory, social media is flooded with all kinds of memes, hashtags that wishes good riddance and a final goodbye at last to 2020 and how eagerly everyone awaits the start of 2021. It clearly shows how people are just done with this year 2020 and the shitload of troubles it brought with it. And considering all that we have witnessed this year, it’s hardly any surprise that we have developed this animosity towards the year. So much so, that whatever bad happens, we are always quick to blame it on the year. Not considering the fact, that on some level, we have only ourselves to blame. But no, why take responsibility for our own actions when we can conveniently blame it on the year. Whether it’s the covid-19 pandemic, bushfires in Australia, floods in Indonesia, an earthquake in Turkey, or anything unfortunate in any part of the world, all the blame has been pinned on 2020, declaring it to be the Satan’s year, even though most of these calamities have had human greed and interference to be blamed as the root cause. But why take the onus on ourselves and make amends for the damage done when we can conveniently pass the blame..and so ever since the year started to take a turn for the worse, the year 2020 has been dissed and slammed like no other..I even saw a video where a guy talks about being dumped by his girlfriend. She blames it on his infidelity. He blames it on 2020. 🤣🤣

But what’s really amusing is to see how people are so convinced that the moment the clock strikes midnight, 2020 will disappear for good and on its way out,it will also take with it all the problems that came with it (or rather the ones we have accused it of bringing but was actually our own doing). As if by magic, all our troubles will go away. Corona will disappear as mysteriously as it appeared, bushfires will stop on their own. Locusts will retreat. flood water will drain out. Hurricane struck uprooted trees will get back to their former glory. Homeless will get back their homes. Jobless will get back their jobs. Sick will regain their health. How wonderful to imagine and hope that all this will happen by a mere change in date. If only life worked like that. 😐🤷🤨🙄

But I guess a little hope never did any harm. And honestly we don’t have much else to go on with at this point. So here’s hoping that 2021 ain’t such a badass, lives upto expectations and treats us well. Happy new year y’all😃😃