Scream and cry as much, there’s no way of breaking out.
Engulfed in darkness,
Plummeting to an abyss of despair,
Feelings going numb, upto the point of inertness,
Paranoia permeating every cell in your body, leaving you gasping for air.
The happy memories of the past are now distant and a blur,
The chances of them returning in the future seems bleak,
The voice in your head says ‘Keep going’ but they slur,
Your body paralyzed with fear, too numb, too weak.
What do you do in such a situation?
How do you get out of this mess?
Will you ever get to see the rays of sunshine outside this dungeon?
Or will this be your permanent home now, this dungeon of darkness??
Have you guys ever felt like this at some point in time or the other? What do you do? How do you push yourself to get out of this dark space and motivate yourself to be positive and never let go of the optimism? Do share in the comments. Am sure it will be helpful to many, including ME….hope you all are doing well…stay healthy and be happy friends💟💟
Words have an impact on all of us…I guess that’s why so many of are here, writing, reading, learning. Because words leave an impression. They can make us happy, they can make us sad, they can make us nostalgic, and even enrage us at times. They can also inspire us, motivate us, or definitely make us think and reflect. These words can be lines from a poem, dialog from a movie, or even a quote said by famous personalities or one made famous by popular culture.
So in this post, I thought I will share some of my favourite quotes, which I carry with me in my heart and remind myself of, whenever needed. Here goes.
1. PEOPLE WILL NEVER TRULY UNDERSTAND SOMETHING UNTIL IT HAPPENS TO THEM.
I truly believe that for someone looking outside in, they can never really understand exactly what you’re going through. Especially, if they haven’t been in the same or atleast similar circumstances. At best, They can try to understand, they can sympathize, they can empathize. But no-one will really know the storm brewing in your mind, body or heart unless they have been in the exact same situation. And if you see it logically, it kinda makes sense too. How can anyone know a certain feeling or a certain pain when they haven’t experienced anything close to that themselves. So it will be wrong on my part to even expect that. So when I am going through some major shit and someone (with good intentions), says stuff like ‘I understand’, or ‘I feel you’, when I know they have no clue what it feels like, earlier my inner voice would be like ‘No dude, you don’t understand, you have no idea what it’s like, so don’t talk shit and Shut the F*** up 😡🥊’. But remembering this quote restores the zen in me and makes me say ‘Thanks🙏😊’ instead. Saves some pretty nasty fights I’d say.
2. DON’T COMPARE YOUR LIFE TO OTHERS. THERE’S NO COMPARISON BETWEEN SUN AND THE MOON. THEY SHINE WHEN IT’S THEIR TIME.
Most of us have this terrible habit of comparing ourselves with others. Could be comparison of looks, health, wealth, good fortune et al. And end up feeling terrible seeing others doing so well while we are heading nowhere. I am guilty of this too. But when I came across this quote, it really made me realise that each of us have our own journeys, our own struggles and our own time to shine and thrive. It’s really not fair to compare myself to someone more successful (for example) when I have no idea how hard that person must have worked to get there. And that he/she must have struggled way more than me to achieve what they have got. So all I have to do is remind myself that now is their time to shine. If I have a goal and work towards it, tomorrow will be my time to shine.🌞🌞
3. LET IT HURT, LET IT BLEED, LET IT HEAL, LET IT GO.
We all get hurt, either by people or our circumstances. Holding onto those grudges only makes us bitter and cynical. It keeps us from being happy or content. So whenever anything or anyone Hurts me, I give myself some time to process it, maybe even cry it out and then to eventually try to let go of the emotional baggage coz it really serves me no purpose dragging it around and getting bogged down by the pressure of it. Of course it doesn’t come so easily always. But then we are all works in progress, aren’t we? So I keep telling myself this: Let Go and Break free. 🙂
4. WE’RE ALL IN THE SAME GAME; JUST DIFFERENT LEVELS. DEALING WITH THE SAME HELL; JUST DIFFERENT DEVILS.
I just love this quote. We are all going through some difficulties or the other, maybe we don’t know it, we don’t realise it. But we are. Every one has their own devils to deal with. So no judgement, no comparison. Just keep going. Life is one big complicated mess and we are all riddled with some trouble or the other. Do your best, face your own challenges, try your hardest to overcome them and move ahead. So even in our bad times, we are not alone. Someone might be having it better right now, but some others are going through worse. Always remember that.
5. THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Saved my most favourite quote for the last. I derive a lot of strength from this one. Whenever I am low, I keep telling myself this, over and over again. Nothing is permanent. Bad times don’t last forever. They will give way to better days and happier times. Just be patient and sail through the storm. Have faith in your heart. Know that This too shall pass. 💗💗
So these were my 5 favourite quotes that give me strength, courage and hope. I hope they resonate with you all. What are your favourite quotes? Please share in the comments. I’d love to read them and maybe add to my list of favourite quotes.
This is precisely the thought on my mind of late. Being stuck at home and waking up every day to do the same thing I did yesterday, I think I have been sucked into the monotony of life. And trust me, I ain’t complaining. I love monotony. It’s predictable, it’s boring and boring is comforting. I know only too well that It doesn’t take much for things to go awry. One phone call, one visit to the doctor, one mishap and life can turn upside down and chaos can set in. And I don’t function well in chaos. I don’t like chaos. God knows I have had more than enough of it in my lifetime.
For the past 2 years, I have led my life in a pretty routine manner. Wake up, office work, household chores, use whatever free time is left to attend to my little garden, binge watch, read, paint, walk or exercise on some days. And the same thing next day.
I take each day as it comes and truly try to live in the present and give my best in the present moment, without much (or any) thought or plans for the future. But is that really enough? I thought so, but seems like people around me disagree. It started with a discussion with the husband when he told me that it’s not enough. That I must try to broaden my horizons. That everyone needs to have a vision of where they see themselves in a few years and then work on a plan to get there. Smarty pants gave me a full blown lecture on the importance to plan for the road ahead. And I do know it comes from a place of concern and good intentions, but this is sort of a sensitive topic for me, so everytime we have such a discussion, I act out, get defensive and the discussion turns into a spat!! 😵😖
The thing is, I have had some bitter experience in the past related to dreaming big wonderful things. Whenever I have dreamt of doing something for myself, planned for something, wanted something so bad, life’s evil tricks have landed all such plans and aspirations flat on their face and shattered all the dreams. Like one time, I got into one of the best MBA colleges. My undergrads college experience was quite dull and boring so, I had gone there with the determination to make this count. I wanted this post-grad experience to be epic. To party hard, study hard and excel. And I did. For a few months. Until a blood clot landed up in my lungs and I ended up in the ICU!! I lost out on a year. I could have gone back. I could have finished. But I just ended up going back to work and never completed my post grads. And this is neither the worst thing to have happened nor the only time. Such things have happened again and again. Everytime I pick myself up, something new and worse knocks me right down.
So, I have made peace with the fact that planning and dreaming is probably not for me. I strive to live wholeheartedly in the present moment and make the most of it. After all, even the worst of obstacles can’t shatter a dream you haven’t dreamt or kill the hopes you haven’t built. Just going with the flow, each day at a time. Just drifting. You could say it’s my defence mechanism, my safety net. My make-believe-cocoon-of-happiness.
However the recent spat with the husband continued to bother me. Not because we fought and said things. We did reconcile the next day. But I kept wondering, is he right (can you imagine how hard it must be for a wife to admit that😛)? Does he have a valid point?🤔 Whenever, I have such existential crisis questions bothering me, I resort to some advice from my bestie. Whenever in crisis or self doubt, she’s my go to person. My free therapist!! She lives in another country, she’s awfully busy but she understands when I NEED to talk to her. And this time our chat was immensely uplifting and an eye opener of sorts for me. And this is what she had to say.
She asked me the same thing that is the title of my blog..‘ Do you want to drift or do you want to be driven?. If you drift along, go with the flow, with no certain plans, no direction, no aspirations, no expectations, then you will probably lead a comfortable but mediocre life. Wishes will remain unfulfilled, desires will remain dormant, achievements few and sense of accomplishment even less. Years later when you look back at your life, you will probably realize it wasn’t the best version of the life you hoped for, with many unfulfilled dreams, many items not checked from your bucket list. And then you might wish you had taken a different approach. That, despite circumstances, you had taken the reins of your life in your own hand. Been the one riding the car of your life rather than being in the passenger seat and see life just whisk past you. But then it will probably be too late and all you will have is just regret. Regret for not doing more, not doing better for yourself. Instead, now if you decide that you don’t want to just drift from one day to the next but instead be driven, by taking control of your life and deciding on a direction, a path and work towards it, then irrespective of how things turn out (and by that I mean Fate being a total b**ch and F-ing up things), you will atleast have the satisfaction that you tried. You tried to make a difference, you tried to make your life more fulfilled, more meaningful. Even if things don’t work out as you planned, You can accept things without regret. And that will also give you some much needed peace and satisfaction.‘
Needless to say, her words really left an indelible impression on me. And yes, it’s given me some courage to atleast think about things. What I want, who I want to be down the line. And after many many years, I am atleast giving it some thought. That itself is a big step in the right direction for me.
And this is the exact reason I am sharing this here. So that , if any of you reading this, find yourself in a similar predicament where you’re afraid to dream, to hope, to aspire, that reading this may give you some food for thought and propel you to think about not just drifting along, not just surviving from day to day, but actually driving your life in the direction that your heart desires. Would love to hear to hear your thoughts on this. Remember, we are all in this together. ❤️❤️
That could totally break you and shatter your near and dears?
Would you wait and wait longer,
Or would you face reality and come out stronger?
Would you just ignore your imminent troubles?
Or rather come out of your pretend-to-be-happy bubble,
And face the reality that awaits,
Just ready to barge in and desecrate
Everything that you hold dear,
And make all the little joys disappear.
The truth is seldom pleasant,
But the fear is omnipresent.
So i wonder out loud, is it better to continue to live in denial,
Or to muster the courage and face whatever ‘reality monster’ awaits and fight for your survival?
Have you ever felt like this? Like you’re so scared of the outcome that you prefer to live in denial rather than face the music?…it could be a breakup or a visit to the doctor or a thesis submission or any other situation that needs to be addressed and dealt with, but there’s always the possibility that things won’t go your way and will have significant consequences that might adversely affect the course of your future. So, instead of just getting done with it, we just sit on it, too afraid of what the outcome might be. On the surface, everything is normal, everything is mundane, but underneath the veneer of normalcy, there lurks a hidden fear, that just eats you up little by little. Have you ever been in such a predicament? I know I have. And it’s not a happy state to be in. Would love to know your thoughts and how you handled it..Much love to all of you fighting such secret battles 💟💟