Unless you’re living under a rock, am sure you all must be well acquainted with Facebook and the many varied quizzes that come up in your feed…what’s your spirit animal, which character of game of thrones are you, are you a hills or beach person, which character from Friends sitcom do you resemble the most, how good is your grammar, which celebrity will be your ideal partner (please let it be Ryan Goslingπ)… etc etc…I have done and enough and more of such stupid quizzes in the past for some time pass and these days I am done with them and skip right through them…after all they are just frivolous and hardly make sense. However last night, I came across a quiz ‘Are you an introvert or Extrovert?’ that piqued my interest and I decided to give it a go.
But this time I was in for a surprise. Each question was on the lines of ‘would you rather do this or that’, ‘do you prefer this over that’. And the options given were such that I just couldn’t make up my mind. And that’s wierd right..coz you are either this or that…you are either a very bubbly, talkative person who is a delightful social presence or just the idea of meeting so many people makes you feel sick in the stomach and you would rather just curl up in a blanket with a good book and a steaming cuppa coffee. But when I looked at the given options, I was like ‘damn I wanna do all those things, which one do I select??’ π€π€
It might sound funny, but for a few minutes, these questions baffled me so much and made me scratch my head and almost gave me an existential crisis…that if I couldn’t answer such a basic question about myself, of whether I am an introvert or Extrovert, then how do I answer the more serious questions like Who am I? What Am I? ππ£π³π¨
Because the thing is, that as an outsider, if you meet me you will definitely consider me an extrovert. And rightly so. I love talking. And like to engage in conversation. Which is why it sometimes infuriates me when 100 words out of me just invokes a ‘hmm’ or an ‘OK’ from my husband π€¬π£. It just kills my vibe and makes me scowl and fume. Anyways, coming back to the topic, whether it borders on office gossip or some family scandal or just any random discussion on politics, weather, life in general, I am always ready to chip in with my words of wisdom π. And it really doesn’t matter if I know you from kindergarten or we just met 2 minutes ago…I am equally at ease (unless you’re some hottie trying to hit on my husband…then you get my scowl rather than my dazzling smile ππ€¨π). I so look forward to the occasional nightouts with us pub hopping, dancing away till the wee hours (I am talking about pre covid times here). Now all these things are textbook definition of an extrovert, and that’s what I always considered myself to be.
However, there is also a less publicised side of me, that’s quieter, loves the solitude, spending time with just myself without talking to anyone, having important conversations in my head about the significant as well as the trivial. Soaking up the quietness, the peace and tranquility. Ideally, that’s what early mornings feel like (so am told, I have no idea π), but for me it’s the silence of the night when it’s past everyone’s bedtime. That’s my time to thrive. To read, to blog, to make imaginary travel plans, to think about life, career, family, Friends, myself. To reflect on the past, think of the present and contemplate the future. Sometimes, even during the day, I might be in such a mood where I would happily pass off an offer to check out the latest pub or cafe as I don’t feel like bantering away. And prefer a day out just with myself. Lazing around. Listening to my favourite songs. Just enjoying my own company to recharge and rejuvenate. Now isn’t that textbook definition of an introvert? π€π€
Hence, you can get an idea of the confusion in my mind when I had to pick between options like would you rather go on a vacation with friends (oh! Yes please) or spend a few days lazing around at home doing whatever the hell you want (this one sounds tempting too)…both choices I would pick happily but which one to select?
So my question is this? Are we strictly either an extrovert or an extrovert? Is a middle ground possible in this case? That one day I am an extrovert and an introvert on the other depending on my current mood? Isn’t branding myself to be one be an insult to the other , which is also as much a part of my personality?
So I resort to everyone’s favourite agony aunt- Google of course!! And I came to know this very reassuring fact.
So seems am not a wierdo and THERE IS a term that aptly describes my personality type…AMBIVERT.
Yayyyyyy ππ.
But Wouldn’t it be wonderful if these stupid quizzes weren’t so stupid and actually gave us a clearer picture like you are x% extrovert and y% introvert and avoided such confusion that makes me scratch my head at 3 AM? Is that too much to ask from a mere algorithm that’s basically just interested in footfall to count how many people opt to take the quiz, nevermind the authenticity of the results? Well, enough thought, enough said, enough done. I am not going to spend my precious time being caught up in this dilemma any longer. To these quizzes I say, ‘first you be more thorough in your analysis, be more accurate in your results, then you can expect me to take part in your quiz’. Until then, I will refrain from branding myself as either. Rather I will embrace both sides with equal joy. π€π€ππ
Well isn’t this interesting, and a very nice read too! And a new term learnt π
We do have swings in trait, all of us, and you are absolutely right, it should be the percentage on which we should be classified intro/extro/ambi. Mine certainly restrains from gatherings (sometimes violently when I am coaxed), maybe 90% times, for fear of unlike company and stereotyped boring talk, so certainly an introvert, no confusions thankfully. But even that 10% comes alive on occasions π
And anything on Facebook might have a darker side I think, nothing is free or stupid! It possibly builds up a personality trait to push more curated and marketing content to your feed. Just my thought, even though I have hopped out of Facebook long long back (I was too much of an introvert to be able to manage the FB life π). So I have been living under a rock technically π
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Am glad you liked reading Deb….well I must admit FB has lost its charm over the years as I grow older and lose interest in stalking others. It’s become like a obnoxious display of fake happiness, exotic vacations and all things wonderful that I can’t experience. So its become a major turn off. However, I use it occasionally to view funny memes and videos and so haven’t hopped out..might eventually do it…π€
And yes, everything on FB is a clever ploy to invade our privacy for strategizing marketing options..so nothing is frivolous or harmless or as I said… ‘stupid’…
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I get annoyed at Facebook’s glitches, blocking and unblocking people without my permission. I wish Zuckerberg and his senior leadership team would prioritize fixing their platform’s scalability problems over rolling out useless features nobody requested.
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You’re absolutely right Jen….but who listens to us π€¦
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And Anyways why care for being labelled when we can be whatever we want. As long as we are happy in our own skin (introvert or Extrovert), that’s all that matters ππ€
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I am also an ambivert thenβ€β€β€
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I discovered I am too… welcome to the club then sister πππ
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I can only speak for myself; and as a writer and thinker, I value solitude but I am also a social animal so I love going to the pub and eating out with friends, and family π
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I guess then you’re an ambivert too πππ»
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Yes! We are similar, ambiverts!
And I forgot FB is good for those quizzes, too lol I will miss them.
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Glad to know we are rocking in the same boat π€
And trust me you ain’t missing much by saying bye bye to Facebook π€ͺ
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lol
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I am an introvert π€π€
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Great that you have no confusion ππ
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π
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Definitely an ambivert!
Im making the pandemic’s lockdown work to my advantage.
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Well can’t tell you how happy this is making me when so many people are identifying themselves as ambivert…I thought I was perhaps the only one….but how are you using the lockdown to your advantage? Do tell
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There is a site called http://www.16personalities.com that gives an accurate description of personality when u do the quiz.
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Oh really? Will check it out…thanks for the suggestion πππ»
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You’re welcome
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I used to be an ambivert but after getting married I became an introvert. My husband is an extrovert at work but an introvert in his personal life. I usually do other quizes for fun. Some are mindblowingly accurate while others are plain stupid like which type of pizza are you.
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Usually husbands become introvert after marriage coz they get used to sulking in silence ππ but the reverse seems to have happened in your case. Since you both are introverts in personal life, who drives the conversation in the house?
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Well usually I talk and he listens but he asks specific questions, otherwise I talk endlessly
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AHH…that sounds relatable…same here ππ
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Btw the site I shared tells you to which percentage you are introvert or extrovert
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As an introvert, I spent a good 10 minutes in a state of paralysis pondering whether or not I should leave a comment. Well, here we are. Great post π
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Thank you Cam….glad to connect with you π
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I have to work quite hard at being more social and thus extroverted, but I do it; most particularly in my working life when I’m expected to look and be confident and competent on the public stage. I loved this piece and so having learned a new term, I’m going to be more ambivert, too. π
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Thank you so much Imelda for liking the post….am glad you too learnt a new word just like me….you are right, work expects us to be more confident and it’s a constant process….always am a work in progress ππ
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Me too … Ambivert …. had separately done the quiz on 16 Personalities …. 56% Extrovert so guess that means 44% Introvert
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Hello from a fellow ambivert! I love being around people, preferably in small amounts with my headphones on. I love seeing my friends once a week. After that I get sensory overload.
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I hear you Jen…and totally relate to it π
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